Guest guest Posted August 28, 2002 Report Share Posted August 28, 2002 Hello, At the onset, I would like to say sorry for deviating from the main theme. But I have been prompted to post something here, encouraged by some of the earlier postings on the list. I dunno why but I have started to treat this group as my friend. I’ve been reading the postings on this list for over a year now and in a way have started to feel familiar with some of the members who are regularly posting on the list and perhaps that is the reason why I am opening up a bit. Now……with some introduction………me is not an astrologer and was initially a nonbeliever in this vedic science. But happenings in my life have forced me to quest for finding the reason or answer to “ Why me” concept. And rather getting half replies from consultants…..thought might as well learn the science and try to unearth why things happen the way they are happening if it can be really seen through horoscopes. Anyways……that was how I got associated to this and am pretty satisfied with what I am learning. The reason of this posting is however, different. Related to spiritualism, I guess!!!! As a person I am totally disinterested in life…..feel it to be meaningless existence. See the world around and feel disgusted by the hypocracy, self agendas etc. of the people and start to question myself why should a person live amidst all this. Try to reason out the logic of existence and feel like walking out and perhaps start meditating somewhere, but cannot , as I have some responsibilities and cannot disown them. All this makes me feel much more frustrated and I feel I am forced to live a life which I don’t want to. Feel like tied down against my will. But then I think why am I alive… it is coz of these responsibilities only and how can I disown them. At times my heart cries but I have to keep smiling. I feel hungry but don’t feel like eating. Feel totally totally disinterested. Now, perhaps u would say pray!!!!! Here, today I am being honest……..i stopped believing in god…..but no I have not completely……..i have just stopped looking at him when am in trouble………..the battle is mine , and I have to fight it myself without his help. I am tempted to move towards him only when I hear discourses while channel surfing. I would say I am a totally confused person and perhaps too myopic to notice my own faults. Perhaps u learned lot from a distance ,could point out my faults to me so that I may try to correct myself and find some peace in life. Any frank suggestions????? tanha Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts http://uk.my. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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