a bereaved mother- Heartfelt Thanks

[Guest guest]

Dear List Members. Many thanks for laying bare my daughter's chart. It is very

humbling to see that I'm not in control as I'd like to think. All of you have

helped me tremendously by saying so unerringly what caused her demise.I am

truly humbled. I have to accept that it was her time to go.Ulimately it is all

His wish.You see the head understands but the heart disagrees vehemently. As so

many of you commented it was a karmic relationship. Sriranjani was the daughter

I always wanted-those were my words to the doctor when he put her in my arms as

soon as she was born. In the short span of 12 yrs she accomplished much. Learnt

piano and classical Indian dancing for 7 yrs, started doing pre-calculus in 7th

Grade, learnt to ice-skate, play tennis, rode bikes, rollerblade, learnt to

speak french fluently, friendly to a fault, very kind,very talented- musically

inclined in instrumental music but strangely not in vocal music, had asthma

from birth, was near sighted and above all wanted to be an astronaut. She wrote

in her brother's autograph book-"Hey DJ see you for life, Love Ranji". Tell me

is this the thinking of a 12 yr old girl? It is as if she knew her time had

come.I know for a fact that she was with us in spirit form until Oct 21st of

97. That night her brother cried himself to sleep begging for his sister and

bringing on his own asthma. We did not know what to do because he was so

inconsolable and incoherent in his grief. We were drowning ourselves But this

thought suddenly popped in my head about her jacket and her baby pillow. I

rushed to get them and covered Dj with her jacket.Hugging her baby pillow to

his heart and snuggling inside her jacket this child who had cried nonstop for

almost 2 hours was fast asleep within seconds.That night, a prayer came from

deep within me 'Dear God, I have entrusted my child to You, please keep her

safe and happy."Ranji appeared in my dream that morning and gave me a big hug

and said some things about my daily routine and other details that only I

know. Those days,I think, if I had only over come my fears of death and limited

thinking I could have made contact with my dead child. Even on the day of her

death I could clearly hear her voice on the right side of my head "Mom I am

OK".She has appeared in my dreams steadily until december of last year.She has

faded away now. She answered 3 questions for me about her death, after her

death in my dreams1.why did she die, was her death timely?2.would her death

have happened in the US? 1-Yes, she had to go because her insides were all

messed up. 2- Yes. 3. when I told her that I miss her with every pore of my

being, she said that she is as close to me as my thoughts. Also in, answer to

my 2nd question, in march 2001, she put me in touch with a family- total

strangers, whose tragedy eerily parallels mine. This family lost their 14 yr

old son TJ to asthma. he breathed his last in his mother's arms just blocks

away from his house rather suddenly and his father was away just like in my

case. And what is the connection between our two families - her husband had

hired my husband in 1992, sight unseen when my husband was away in India

attending his father's funeral. And when I talked to TJ"'s Mother the first

thing she said after hearing my story, that she has seen my daughter in her

dreams and described Ranji to me. We have not met personally yet but we have

exchanged a few pictures of our precious children.

The death of a child is the most horrific thing for a parent to undergo. The

whole universal order is turned upside down. And you die a lttle each day.

After reading all your emails I have to recondition my thinking that

Ranji,Tj,Michael's death are part of His great design but try telling your

heart that.I cannot see anything joyful past my grief My world is shattered and

nothing makes sense anymore.We live for our son, literally breathing Ranji's

name.My dead child's chart was my obsession even that has been laid

threadbare.Iam terribly disillusioned and have to accept that it is all in the

stars.Like flies are we to the gods, they kill us for their sport.Regards

jayshree. Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: Click Here

[Guest guest]

Dear Jayshree,

 

Have to agree with that.

 

Sateesh.

 

P.S. I have yet to respond to the Chart - sorry for the delay.

 

========

 

- Sriranjani Iyer

gjlist ; hanskpvedic

Cc: makara (AT) ntlworld (DOT) com ; rk (AT) robertkoch (DOT) com ; siva1008 (AT) earthlink (DOT) net ;

vishnu (AT) lbq (DOT) dk ; elohim (AT) mt (DOT) net.mk

Sunday, August 18, 2002 4:49 AM

a bereaved mother- Heartfelt Thanks

Like flies are we to the gods, they kill us for their sport.

 

 

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