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Hello everyone,

 

Between the two lists I send my writings to, there are 700 rs

total, but many are "web only" and "digest" etc., so not everybody

actually reads what I or we write on these lists.

 

In any case, a number of people read the things I write. It is to them

I'm speaking.

 

Some of you know me, either personally or through email, and others just

know of me. No matter which, you may get alarmed by what seem like

extreme outcrys for help. Well, they are that, but at the same time I

want you to know that I don't really expect you who are so far away, and

unrelated to me in any way, to really come running to my aid.

 

I write these things because I feel the need to write and speak out,

that's just in me. Then, I fell that the best material I have to share

is what I'm going through, with all the emotional and spiritual

trimmings. Then, in going about this, I find that sometimes poetry comes

from me spontaneously, so I just use that.

 

So what I'm saying is that, it's part art, part teaching, and part

sharing, and part desperation. When I am in a panic attack mode, I

really do feel the need to cry out to you, since you are my only

"entity" that I can speak to other than a very few friends who sometimes

are just either not around or burnt out on my problems. So I end up

alone alot, and in those times, I feel the genuine need to reach out and

"touch you" by speaking my mind. Knowing that you are there reading it,

is my connection to people at that time, and at that time, it's vital,

it keeps me connected to humanity.

 

Otherwise, what happens is a type of dissassociation from this plane in

my head, and although there is of course beauty in the spiritual realm,

still, if one has a living body, and a life to live, one needs to stay

somewhat grounded here. Grounding takes place for me automatically when

someone is around. If that person loves me, then it's even comfortable.

This is why I pine for that, but it's ok, when I'm balanced, I know that

it will come when it comes, in it's time, and I'm ok with that, during

my good times.

 

But mostly I want you to know that those attacks have always ended, some

longer than others. But they end, and then I get a break, and I get

stuff done, and I write apology letters. Oh well. It's so easy to say to

me, "just hold the letters". But believe me, when in there, it's a

different story, and that advice is meaningless. Think of yourself

running out of your house, which is lifting off the ground as you jump

from the porch, because of a tornado, which is going to toss it high and

throw it down, crushing the whole house to pieces. You are running for

your very life. At that time, if you remember that the faucet was left

running, you really don't care. You know it's all over for the house

anyway. Totally over. Finished.

 

So it's something like that. In that state, the person does not think

"rationally" as you would like them to. The fear level is so high, and

so believable in the emotional mind, that the person becomes what you

might term as "paranoid". What's really happening is that the person

feels the falsely given emotion of fear from bad brain chemistry

sources, nutritionally, drug, environmentally caused, whatever, and in

sending the false emotion, the brain just might do so also in a false

way. In other words, whereas normally "fear" is sent in x amount, at

these times, it might be sent say in ten times the normal amount, since

it's not a normal impulse, it's not under normal regulations either.

It's TOTALLY errant in every way, so it is felt extremely so.

 

So when one feels an immense amount of "fear", the mind "finds" the

reasons for the fear. It does this automatically. This is called

"paranoia". It comes from fear's expression in the outer world, namely,

the person starts talking about the sources of their fear. The other

people perceive that the person is "hallucinating" about reality,

"dreaming up schemes and things that don't exist". What really should be

seen instead is that the person is doing this because they have a deep

need to solve their fear problem.

 

The real CAUSE of the fear cannot be known by looking at the symptomatic

expressions of "paranoia" therefore !

 

What the person talks about, and what is really the cause, are normally,

therefore, two different things, and the one you hear, is the one which

is meaningless, misleading, rightly considered a smokescreen without bad

intention, and so on.

 

One must have a different way, understanding, or mechanism or technique,

to discover the real underlying reason why the person is feeling so much

fear. One can do this chemically, medically, or one can do it more

subtly, by entering into the persons life and experiences, especially

early in life, and seeing if there is an imprint of a lyfestyle and way

of thinking which they are literally acting out.

 

In other words, just as we learn to speak, we also learn to be human.

That means, we learn movements, emotions, timings, relating methods and

paradigms, social structures, all kinds of things. We then carry these

very early impressions forward forever throughout our lives.

 

However, sometimes the paradigms or understandings at the root of a

persons imprinted life understanding do no longer match the persons

later developing or sought out understanding and paradigm, thus, an

inner conflict emerges. It is possible for a person to feel basic

impulses and needs, which are not "allowed" in the childhood paradigm,

and go through life denying them because of the imprint's workings in

the persons subconscious. They won't allow themselves to cross certain

lines they were imprinted with. This is one way of breaking down and

understanding simply how people in different cultures generally or

always adopt the understandings of the world present in their birth

culture or environment, their imprint village so to speak.

 

In my case, this is an extreme situation. I have been through a few

paradigm shifts, and my birth situation was extreme, my early life was

extreme, in certain ways. For example, some of the basic realities I saw

as a baby on a constant basis surrounding the woman who was my mother,

and thus the center of my meaningful world, were:

 

Mothers are tired

Fathers are dumb

Everybody is uptight and upset all the time

Men smoke

Adults drink

Adults are happier after they drink

Priests are dark overall

Religion is sad and serious

The truth about life is sad and serious

Old people work for priests, young people do not

The priests house stinks and is dark and ugly

The priests all drink too much and smoke

Good people are sad and serious

Most people are not good people

Rich people are not good people

Poor people are good people

There is a heaven, hell, sin, devil, and I am sinful

The body has bad parts

Sex is very bad, don't talk about it

We are a dumb family

We are poor

We have to beg for, and then be thankful for, our jobs

Smarter, richer people hire my dad and us boys

My dad is dumb, so he's not rich

Irish means nothing, there's nothing to talk about there at all

We're good people, and we're all going to heaven

You have to just do a few things externally to be heaven bound

Otherwise, you go to hell or inbetween

India is really bad, and black people are bad

 

and so on...

 

This is my imprint. It comes from being born me. It's specifically White

Irish Catholic born in Oakland in the 1960's. Each imprint is going to

be different. People who have similar imprints will feel kinship to each

other. For example, recently a woman and myself caught eyes in the

parking lot. We looked similar. So we started talking. We had similar

upbringings and bloodlines, and were into the same things. She wore a

Kali Necklace and other Keltic art, and so was I, and we were dressed

the same, had the same hair, similar skin and color, eyes, everything.

It was amazing. It was instant friendship and even love.

 

We are what we are. We are a spirit, but the body is the immediate and

direct reflection of that spirit's understanding at this moment. DNA

matches Charts, which match Genes, which match looks, choices, thoughts,

attitudes, karma, destiny, and this will all eventually be discovered by

and by.

 

That's why, the ultimate question is how to take the ride? How to

"think". Those who can ponder this deeply, will be very much interested

in discussing on such a deep level. Most cannot navigate there. You have

to be able to be in predeterminism, and talking about it, so you have to

have that specific karma, and thus ability, and with others who do also,

then a very interesting "portal" discussion occurs, where, what's being

said, is a sign of the existence of sentient beings expressing their

direct awareness of their own utter captivity. This is the beginning of

the end of that captivity.

 

I owe a great debt to a woman here in Eugene who is a mother of six, had

a husband in politics who was shot, became a healer, and is an

extraordinary person due to her utter commitment to the philosophy of

the freedom of everyone to choose to be joyful no matter what, using the

usual understanding of the soul, reincarnation, etc., as the base. I

agree with her in principal, but she's much better at doing it than I.

Her counsel has helped me tremendously lately. Although I express my

downs still, I must say, overall, I am feeling great hope again in life.

I feel like I am coming back to life, because of "Rita". I can say, she

is one of the most profound persons I have ever met. She owns and runs

the Rejunvenation Clinic on 11th in Eugene, to put a spot on the map to

her being. I have to mention her, because her impact in my life has been

profound lately. She is actually psychic, and her mind is free from the

usual imprints, she can read people's imprints, show them to them

clearly, and help them clear them. It's pretty amazing. She is amazing.

A 55 yr old red head Irish Canadian, average looking, not average thinking.

 

Peace

 

Das Goravani

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Guest guest

Dear Das,

 

Reading you loud and clear Brother.

 

Ramesvari Devi

-

"Das Goravani" <>

<gjlist>; "dasgoravaniswritings"

<dasgoravaniswritings>

Tuesday, August 06, 2002 5:20 PM

[GJ] About me and my expressions

 

 

>

> Hello everyone,

>

> Between the two lists I send my writings to, there are 700 rs

> total, but many are "web only" and "digest" etc., so not everybody

> actually reads what I or we write on these lists.

>

> In any case, a number of people read the things I write. It is to them

> I'm speaking.

>

> Some of you know me, either personally or through email, and others just

> know of me. No matter which, you may get alarmed by what seem like

> extreme outcrys for help. Well, they are that, but at the same time I

> want you to know that I don't really expect you who are so far away, and

> unrelated to me in any way, to really come running to my aid.

>

> I write these things because I feel the need to write and speak out,

> that's just in me. Then, I fell that the best material I have to share

> is what I'm going through, with all the emotional and spiritual

> trimmings. Then, in going about this, I find that sometimes poetry comes

> from me spontaneously, so I just use that.

>

> So what I'm saying is that, it's part art, part teaching, and part

> sharing, and part desperation. When I am in a panic attack mode, I

> really do feel the need to cry out to you, since you are my only

> "entity" that I can speak to other than a very few friends who sometimes

> are just either not around or burnt out on my problems. So I end up

> alone alot, and in those times, I feel the genuine need to reach out and

> "touch you" by speaking my mind. Knowing that you are there reading it,

> is my connection to people at that time, and at that time, it's vital,

> it keeps me connected to humanity.

>

> Otherwise, what happens is a type of dissassociation from this plane in

> my head, and although there is of course beauty in the spiritual realm,

> still, if one has a living body, and a life to live, one needs to stay

> somewhat grounded here. Grounding takes place for me automatically when

> someone is around. If that person loves me, then it's even comfortable.

> This is why I pine for that, but it's ok, when I'm balanced, I know that

> it will come when it comes, in it's time, and I'm ok with that, during

> my good times.

>

> But mostly I want you to know that those attacks have always ended, some

> longer than others. But they end, and then I get a break, and I get

> stuff done, and I write apology letters. Oh well. It's so easy to say to

> me, "just hold the letters". But believe me, when in there, it's a

> different story, and that advice is meaningless. Think of yourself

> running out of your house, which is lifting off the ground as you jump

> from the porch, because of a tornado, which is going to toss it high and

> throw it down, crushing the whole house to pieces. You are running for

> your very life. At that time, if you remember that the faucet was left

> running, you really don't care. You know it's all over for the house

> anyway. Totally over. Finished.

>

> So it's something like that. In that state, the person does not think

> "rationally" as you would like them to. The fear level is so high, and

> so believable in the emotional mind, that the person becomes what you

> might term as "paranoid". What's really happening is that the person

> feels the falsely given emotion of fear from bad brain chemistry

> sources, nutritionally, drug, environmentally caused, whatever, and in

> sending the false emotion, the brain just might do so also in a false

> way. In other words, whereas normally "fear" is sent in x amount, at

> these times, it might be sent say in ten times the normal amount, since

> it's not a normal impulse, it's not under normal regulations either.

> It's TOTALLY errant in every way, so it is felt extremely so.

>

> So when one feels an immense amount of "fear", the mind "finds" the

> reasons for the fear. It does this automatically. This is called

> "paranoia". It comes from fear's expression in the outer world, namely,

> the person starts talking about the sources of their fear. The other

> people perceive that the person is "hallucinating" about reality,

> "dreaming up schemes and things that don't exist". What really should be

> seen instead is that the person is doing this because they have a deep

> need to solve their fear problem.

>

> The real CAUSE of the fear cannot be known by looking at the symptomatic

> expressions of "paranoia" therefore !

>

> What the person talks about, and what is really the cause, are normally,

> therefore, two different things, and the one you hear, is the one which

> is meaningless, misleading, rightly considered a smokescreen without bad

> intention, and so on.

>

> One must have a different way, understanding, or mechanism or technique,

> to discover the real underlying reason why the person is feeling so much

> fear. One can do this chemically, medically, or one can do it more

> subtly, by entering into the persons life and experiences, especially

> early in life, and seeing if there is an imprint of a lyfestyle and way

> of thinking which they are literally acting out.

>

> In other words, just as we learn to speak, we also learn to be human.

> That means, we learn movements, emotions, timings, relating methods and

> paradigms, social structures, all kinds of things. We then carry these

> very early impressions forward forever throughout our lives.

>

> However, sometimes the paradigms or understandings at the root of a

> persons imprinted life understanding do no longer match the persons

> later developing or sought out understanding and paradigm, thus, an

> inner conflict emerges. It is possible for a person to feel basic

> impulses and needs, which are not "allowed" in the childhood paradigm,

> and go through life denying them because of the imprint's workings in

> the persons subconscious. They won't allow themselves to cross certain

> lines they were imprinted with. This is one way of breaking down and

> understanding simply how people in different cultures generally or

> always adopt the understandings of the world present in their birth

> culture or environment, their imprint village so to speak.

>

> In my case, this is an extreme situation. I have been through a few

> paradigm shifts, and my birth situation was extreme, my early life was

> extreme, in certain ways. For example, some of the basic realities I saw

> as a baby on a constant basis surrounding the woman who was my mother,

> and thus the center of my meaningful world, were:

>

> Mothers are tired

> Fathers are dumb

> Everybody is uptight and upset all the time

> Men smoke

> Adults drink

> Adults are happier after they drink

> Priests are dark overall

> Religion is sad and serious

> The truth about life is sad and serious

> Old people work for priests, young people do not

> The priests house stinks and is dark and ugly

> The priests all drink too much and smoke

> Good people are sad and serious

> Most people are not good people

> Rich people are not good people

> Poor people are good people

> There is a heaven, hell, sin, devil, and I am sinful

> The body has bad parts

> Sex is very bad, don't talk about it

> We are a dumb family

> We are poor

> We have to beg for, and then be thankful for, our jobs

> Smarter, richer people hire my dad and us boys

> My dad is dumb, so he's not rich

> Irish means nothing, there's nothing to talk about there at all

> We're good people, and we're all going to heaven

> You have to just do a few things externally to be heaven bound

> Otherwise, you go to hell or inbetween

> India is really bad, and black people are bad

>

> and so on...

>

> This is my imprint. It comes from being born me. It's specifically White

> Irish Catholic born in Oakland in the 1960's. Each imprint is going to

> be different. People who have similar imprints will feel kinship to each

> other. For example, recently a woman and myself caught eyes in the

> parking lot. We looked similar. So we started talking. We had similar

> upbringings and bloodlines, and were into the same things. She wore a

> Kali Necklace and other Keltic art, and so was I, and we were dressed

> the same, had the same hair, similar skin and color, eyes, everything.

> It was amazing. It was instant friendship and even love.

>

> We are what we are. We are a spirit, but the body is the immediate and

> direct reflection of that spirit's understanding at this moment. DNA

> matches Charts, which match Genes, which match looks, choices, thoughts,

> attitudes, karma, destiny, and this will all eventually be discovered by

> and by.

>

> That's why, the ultimate question is how to take the ride? How to

> "think". Those who can ponder this deeply, will be very much interested

> in discussing on such a deep level. Most cannot navigate there. You have

> to be able to be in predeterminism, and talking about it, so you have to

> have that specific karma, and thus ability, and with others who do also,

> then a very interesting "portal" discussion occurs, where, what's being

> said, is a sign of the existence of sentient beings expressing their

> direct awareness of their own utter captivity. This is the beginning of

> the end of that captivity.

>

> I owe a great debt to a woman here in Eugene who is a mother of six, had

> a husband in politics who was shot, became a healer, and is an

> extraordinary person due to her utter commitment to the philosophy of

> the freedom of everyone to choose to be joyful no matter what, using the

> usual understanding of the soul, reincarnation, etc., as the base. I

> agree with her in principal, but she's much better at doing it than I.

> Her counsel has helped me tremendously lately. Although I express my

> downs still, I must say, overall, I am feeling great hope again in life.

> I feel like I am coming back to life, because of "Rita". I can say, she

> is one of the most profound persons I have ever met. She owns and runs

> the Rejunvenation Clinic on 11th in Eugene, to put a spot on the map to

> her being. I have to mention her, because her impact in my life has been

> profound lately. She is actually psychic, and her mind is free from the

> usual imprints, she can read people's imprints, show them to them

> clearly, and help them clear them. It's pretty amazing. She is amazing.

> A 55 yr old red head Irish Canadian, average looking, not average

thinking.

>

> Peace

>

> Das Goravani

>

>

>

>

> Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat Sat

> : gjlist-

>

>

>

> Your use of is subject to

>

>

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