Guest guest Posted April 25, 2002 Report Share Posted April 25, 2002 krishna is all there is i've always known this from day 1 so i served with my life the guitar was for god i thought the world listens to rock stars so i went that route, and was getting there but found direct service a better concept, and gave fully to it, rose immediately i never stopped, i do it still today more than most on earth, hence i'm known i only care about krishna's mission that's the truth but, i want a woman, thats the ONLY thing i want somebody to love me, who i also love the only thing other than that, i just work for krishna but apparently, there is no woman who fits i've called and called and tried and tried this is my reality, today i tell you the truth fully, without anything left out this is my reality, if i didn't have that desire, i'd be fine, because i already have bliss in my service i love everything but this point, i want to hug someone i love who also loves me back, my wife, where is she other than that, i don't want to watch videos, or go to games, play games, buy things, nothing i don't care about anything but doing that work, that seva, because it is the beauty of life, krishna is the beauty in life god is all there is, all beauty is in god celtic art points to god, indian art points to god flowers point to god, atoms point to god, astrology points to god god is all there is there is nothing but god god is beauty, all is beautiful life is wonderful beauty is everywhere and in everthing, to me, i see it always everywhere but i am so tired of sleeping alone nobody to talk to in the morning nobody to have a sip of tea with, nobody to hug nobody to look at and smile or laugh just my computer, my brihat mridanga, the communication tool par excellence that any preacher has waited for for many lifetimes i love it too cant you see that can't you see i love talking to you about him? he is all there has ever been to me, him and her, them, the couple, the beauty, the all everywhere I looked i found him, sure enough, the gurus spoke of my lord the books teach of him, people die for him, fight wars for him serve him, love him, adore him, try to find him, everywhere is my lord, everywhere i see him in the alphabet, the table, the phone, the light, the planets, the nature, the rotations and my postures he is the mandala, the artwork, the burst of light and grace he is in the sand, the atoms of dirt, he is the reason for this place he is in this pain i'm feeling, hes behind it all the way i know hes there but still i wish his daughter to embrace a woman who can, who will always be, in his mission endlessly like me and in me she sees the only thing she needs for continuity see my love ispure, it never changes, how long do i have to say it i will go to my death as i am, but isn't there one person to besideme? am i alone in this, do i have no equal, a woman my age, or younger who like me longs only for embrace, other than forever remaining in seva i just want to glorify him only, thats what i do, in all i do is there no beautiful woman, just my equal, thats all nothing more for me her face, my mirror, seventh in first, the reason to live otherwise blinded, blown by bombs, frustrated, humiliated, devastated i cannot live, dont want to live, alone without my other i have tried and struggled, called and yelled, printed ads, but i cant find her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 27, 2002 Report Share Posted April 27, 2002 Dear Raghu I am sure many of us on this list have received your mesages on the list and have been affected by your responses.I for one have felt helpless as to how I should respond to you to get you through this rough patch.Natabara speaks from his heart and has represented us for you to use your good senses to take stock of yourself to cope with your emotions.We are connected and do care for you to spare our time to write to show our concerns.I can only pray for you.Sincerely I do.You dont know how much you have affected our lives positively through your messages and various responses.Hope Krishna guides through Natabaras words and makes you think about what he has said.Please trust that there are others who in their lives have had a greater raw deal than you.Stop ,Stop ,Stop self sympathising and sympathise with others for their problems.Get on with whatever you want to do or love to do.Work is worship.Yogakshema is automatic.You deserve only what Krishna thinks you deserve.You cannot challenge that.GO WITH THE FLOW.HAPPINESS OUTSIDE YOU IS ONLY TEMPORARY. UNTIL YOU REALISE THAT THE HAPPINESS YOU WILL ENJOY COMES FROM WITHIN YOU YOU ARE GOING TO BE VERY DISSAPPOINTED AND DISSAPPOINTMENT IS IGNORANCE.TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THAT I HAVE GONE THROUGH WORST TIMES AND I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND YOUR FEELINGS.IF YOU ARE SINCERE YOU WILL BELIEVE ME.YOU ARE ONLY A TEMPORARY CUSTODIAN OF YOUR CHILDREN.YOU DONT POSSESS THEM.LOVE BUT DETACHMENT IS IMPORTANT.THAT IS THE WAY.I AM OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR FATHER SO please cut out the f.......language.Krishna will be most obliged . I wouldnt have written to you if there was no concern.I love you.God Bless. Love and Regards S Purushothaman - natabara GJList Saturday, April 27, 2002 3:05 PM [GJ] Krishna and Love - "Das Goravani" <das (AT) goravani (DOT) com> <das (AT) goravani (DOT) com> Cc: Thursday, April 25, 2002 2:32 PM [GJ] Krishna and love My Dear Das Yesterday when I read your postings I thought, “I cannot help, this guy is in beyond land” and I did erase your postings. However, this morning after only 4 hours sleep I woke up from a deep dream and I could not go back to sleep, thinking about the dream, and other many thinks. Although I need at least 6 hours sleep to function, otherwise my speech, balance and walk do go funny and erratic, I know well know that when I get to the present stage, certain people “on the other side”, want to deliver a message. It is something like the film ghost in which Goopi Golberg plays the role of a medium and through her, some “spirits” come to get in contact with their loved ones. In the beginning of the film, Goopi was a “fake” medium, cheating people and telling them lies. That is how she was making her living. However, as the film moves on, somehow Goopi becomes a real medium and becomes very successful. I know fake mediums and also real mediums. A real medium will deliver the goods in good faith. So, somehow I am a sincere medium, wanting to deliver the needed goods. A year ago, I almost die and doctors say now that I am a puzzle, an enigma, a mystery, because I am suppose to be death. That is how I am feeling. However, I am lucky that I was told in advance (for the previous 9 years to the “accident”), why I had to pay with this brain haemorrhage some deeds, which I did in my previous life. The way that I was told was done in a manner that I do not have doubts that it was invented. I am too old to be tricked in that way. When I was dying I thought, “Who is going to take care of my books, files, projects etc” Nobody, is the answer. I have been accumulating what is use to me, what I know. For others it will be a mystery to get rid off. I thought “well, it is sad that after 5 years, all my accumulated knowledge is coming to an end, I have to start again as a baby, somewhere according to my karma e intentions.” “The problem is that in my early years, under ignorance and brainwashing by a materialistic system, I am likely to make mistakes that are going to land me further into tamas, (ignorance), I would not be able to help it. However, I was told like by telepathy, that my next body is not due yet and that I had to come back to this earthly plane. Death was at about 3 meters from me, if I only could go there, lift the curtains of darkness, and cross to the light, I could have died. But I was too weak to even walk 3 metres. I did not want to come back here to suffer like I have done for the past 12 months and perhaps the next 12 or 24 months. But higher authorities know better, and if I am here, I promised to myself to serve Krishna in the best of my abilities. A doctor told me that I am likely to feel like a stair mood, where I feel up, then flat, then up, then flat. But I think that rather than a stair; it is better described as the feeling that one gets in a Russian Mountain. On the way up, there is not problema. It is on the way down where the problem lies, especially on the times when I go down on a cliff for 14 days, or sometimes only 2 days but in an intensely bad way. I am just glad that I have paid my dues, because I feel now more alight, a big burden has been lifted from over my shoulders now that I had paid that karma. The present bad days are just the interests that I am paying on that karmic mortgage. Although it was not my intention to hurt, I could not help it. I did it. I am sorry but the harm was done. It is like in a court of law. The Jury is out to deliver if the crime was murder of first, second, or third degree, or simple manslaughter. Obviously, first-degree murder carries a biggest penalty than manslaughter, but the Jury has to see the intention to deliver a last verdict. So, the intention is all-important in a Court of Justice. Our spiritual master, yours and mine, said many times that we should not rely on a Court of Justice because we do not have a chance. We should rely on Krishna’s love, because God’s love is above justice. you <<Krishna is all there is i've always known this from day 1>> me Due to your positive karma, you had a wise move. you << but found direct service a better concept, and gave fully to it, rose immediately>> me Yes, service (seva) is the highest point in our path, and due to your unseen karma, you rose high. you << i never stopped, i do it still today more than most on earth, hence i'm known i only care about krishna's mission that's the truth>> me Yes, that is the best way. God’s service is the highest option that we have. You << but, i want a woman, thats the ONLY thing i want somebody to love me, who i also love the only thing. Me Seva, service, brings what we really need, and not what we want. Our desires are imperfect, that is why we have approached Krishna, the absolute, to receive what is good in order to purify our soul from unwanted dust accumulated in eternity in this miserable drama called life. Mother Durga is in charge of this material realm and she makes sure that we make our time in jail. Durga Devi knows her game very well, she is a great devotee of the Lord and she gives us the suitable bodies to our karma, desires and intentions. We are like actors in this material cosmic universe, we are given our script before we are even born. Some of us have to play the role of the baddies, some others the role of the goodies, and some others the role of the ugliest. I am just glad that I was allowed to play. One day, when my time is up, I will give all up and go back to God. Until then, perhaps in a million lives more, I just want to be able to get Krishna’s service. Look yourself in the mirror, I bet that the mirror is too dusty that you cannot even see your tilak (sacred sign put on the forehead with sacred dust). You have to clean your mirror first before you can see things more clear. you <<but apparently, there is no woman who fits i've called and called and tried and tried this is my reality, today i tell you the truth fully, without anything left out>> Lamentation is illusion, say the Vedas. As long as we are lamenting, the more we will delay our goods. We become stagnant in our dreams, illusions and lamentations. Even Arjuna was lamenting before the Kuruksetra war, but Krishna told him, “Arise and fight because that is your duty”. And so he did, and thanks to that Maharaja Pariksit became the ruler of this world when Kali yuga started. you <<this is my reality, if i didn't have that desire, i'd be fine, because i already have bliss in my service i love everything but this point, i want to hug someone i love who also loves me back, my wife, where is she>> me Mother Durga gave you a body with those unfulfilled desires for a reason. Most of us are searching for love because we are love and we were born out of love and in love, but the highest love can be found only in Krishna. Meanwhile, earthly love is imperfect, it will last as long as our scrip says, no more not less. We cannot force any body to love us, otherwise that would be a fantasy. We can take a horse to the water, but we cannot force the horse to drink it. You << i don't want to watch videos, or go to games, play games, buy things,>> me By nature, you feel happy with that life, but consider that a lady would like shopping and perhaps see videos. You cannot force a person to walk your path. Every individual has his/her own path given by the body. That is way we are individuals. You << i don't care about anything but doing that work, that seva, >> me According to your conception, that is your seva, do what you think is best for you, and allow others to follow their own nature. you <<because it is the beauty of life, Krishna is the beauty in life god is all there is, all beauty is in god, Celtic art points to god, Indian art points to god>> me Of course, the inner feelings of the artist directs the soul to God. You << flowers point to god, atoms point to god, astrology points to god, god is all there is there is nothing but god, god is beauty, all is beautiful, life is wonderful, beauty is everywhere and in everything, to me, i see it always everywhere>> me Wise mood. you << but i am so tired of sleeping alone>> me I prefer to sleep alone than to be destined to sleep with a partner that is going to stab me to death in my sleep. What do you prefer? you << nobody to talk to in the morning, nobody to have a sip of tea with, nobody to hug, nobody to look at and smile or laugh>> me To be alone can be a course, I have been there many times, and the worst thing is when we start to talk to the walls, or bang our head against the walls. Before that comes, we should go out and search for humans, we are humans in need of others. To be alone is not good when we do not have the nature to be alone. There are some lucky guys out there that can be in their own without any problems, but for others, get out and do something, mix in society. The sex drive is impossible to control if we do not have the nature to do so. You << just my computer, my brihat mridanga, the communication tool par excellence that any preacher has waited for many lifetimes, i love it too>> me You are lucky in some ways. You << can’t you see that, can't you see i love talking to you about Him? Me That is the best way, Krishna katha, talks about the Supreme gives benefits to both the one that talks and the one that listened. you << He is all there has ever been to me, him and her, them, the couple, the beauty, the all, everywhere I looked i found Him, sure enough, the gurus spoke of my lord the books teach of Him, people die for Him, fight wars for Him, serve Him, love Him, adore Him, try to find Him, everywhere is my Lord, everywhere i see Him in the alphabet, the table, the phone, the light, the planets, the nature, the rotations and my postures, He is the mandala, the artwork, the burst of light and grace, He is in the sand, the atoms of dirt, He is the reason for this place, He is in this pain i'm feeling, He’s behind it all the way i know, He’s there but still i wish his daughter to embrace a woman who can, who will always be, in his mission endlessly like me and in me she sees the only thing she needs for continuity, see my love is pure, it never changes, how long do i have to say it i will go to my death as i am, but isn't there one person to besideme?>> me It seems to me that what you want is a toy, a robot that fulfils your crazy desires, you do not seem to think what is best for her. You only talk about, me, me and me. But in a partnership we have to accommodate the other half. We have to commit ourselves, we should not request to be served. We are not the lords, we are the servants. There are many persons out there that never ever learn in schools how to love. Have you read The Art of Love (El Arte de amar), by Erich Fromm? Fromm says that our problem is that we do not know how to love. We think that love is something imperfect as is our imperfect views. We have to learn to be perfect, and then we will automatically know what is real love. You << am i alone in this, do i have no equal, a woman my age, or younger who like me longs only for embrace, other than forever remaining in seva, i just want to glorify Him only, thats what i do, in all i do, is there no beautiful woman, just my equal, thats all nothing more for me her face, my mirror, seventh in first, the reason to live otherwise blinded, blown by bombs, frustrated, humiliated, devastated i cannot live, dont want to live, alone without my other i have tried and struggled, called and yelled, printed ads, but i cant find her>> me Perhaps you have been searching in the wrong places. Hare Krishna Best wishes Natabara DasOm Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya; Hare Krishna; Om Tat SatTo , send an email to: gjlist-http://www.goravani.comYour use of is subject to the Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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