another

[Guest guest]

i just woke up, there's nobody here, again, as for years,

 

for years, i gave and gave, into the computer, for people

 

just hoping for one thing only, love, to not be alone

 

but I'm always alone,

 

go on they say, just go on, but I can't

 

how can i, another day, no i can't face it

 

another day working to pay bills, to just go on

 

to wait, for something that never happens

 

i can't give anymore, i cannot go on

 

i can't think anymore, more code code code and writing

 

i thought and suffered, and wrote about that, they liked it

 

everyone supported me, invisible people I can't see

 

i have nothing left, i need a guide out

 

i need someone holding my hand who loves me

 

i can't face this minute, another minute alone

 

another another when will it end

 

what do i have to do god, i cannot go onlike this

 

i hate it, alone all the time always forever

 

 

fuck me

 

now none of you want to hear it I have nobody nobody

 

 

i already wiated and waited i already died trying, i canot go on anymore

just cant

 

another fucking 4 am crying alone and it just doesn't fucking matter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i already tried

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

oi already begged

 

 

 

 

 

i begged and pleaded

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i've cried and cried

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i canot kldo this

[Guest guest]

bro, das-ji-ji,

 

is that an old message, you sent out in error? sure hope so. hope too, that

it will not land on the list this time...didnt yet.

 

if it is not an old one. cant you push for an earlier appointment with

doctor? you are trapped in thought carrousel - digging the negative channel

deeper and deeper. compulsive? obsessive? you need help to come up with new

thought directions. different meds?

 

one trick i used to stop repetitious, painful thoughts. the minute one comes

up, change the subject of your thought to world food prices, wallpaper,

making of yogurt or whatever.

 

go to: http://www.help-for.com/quotes.htm

 

sidetrack yourself. watch stupid, or good tv. go for a walk. nourish yourself

with food. do some yoga. deep breathing. chanting...anything to get away from

the selfpity stuff. put on the theodorakis record. take pictures.

 

 

tie your heart hardly bravely to the mast of ship and sail through the storm

with the grace of krishna - you both are the only ones that can sail it, it

is yours. it is impossible to transfer that responsibilty to anybody else,

no matter how hard you wished you could. you cant sail freely while dealing

with crutches, that lost their purpose.

 

if this is a new note, i know you do not wish to be reasoned with, or cant.

read the letters on the list regarding the recent crash. maybe they give you

a different thought direction and again some hope, that this will pass too.

 

wished, i could take all the pain away from you - cant.

 

om shanti.

 

big hug,

love and blessings,

sabine