Mental Disease Overview

[Guest guest]

It's true that many have told me they benefit from my exposure of my own

turmoils.

 

I also get alot of mail from others suffering, telling me so. That's

very interesting actually, as I'll cover below.

 

I get some emails and phone calls telling me to shut up to protect my

good reputation.

 

Some friends tell me I'll never get a wife if I keep this up, and so on.

 

My own heart is that of pure honesty. That's part of my problem.

 

 

 

 

 

I am right now in the middle of an extreme swing down. So it's an

interesting time to be writing. Very jittery fingers, have to correct

alot, may notice funny sentences, hyperness in the midst of extreme

remorse, it's very weird.

 

 

I can say that I have had a tremendous mind in this life. I wish I could

share it more easily- what I see. It's been a real pleasure, being able

to visualize geometry in my mind, understand math easily, have colorful

flying dreams, be able to read so fast and understand well, and so on.

The things I can see about our universe are really cool. I have

animation software and would like to try to share some of it, but can't

get to it, for many reasons, depression, money, GJ3 needed first, and so on.

 

 

The diagnosis of what I have changes over time, which is normal. It's

sliding towards bi polar but it isn't there yet, as the manias required

for that have not been seen, but like Bi Polar, but without the hi

manias, just slightly seeing those.

 

 

But I have the polymaths problem, the "Touched" intelligence, the demon

that chases us, as many before have discussed it.

 

 

These days, In this game, one sees a psychiatrist, who is a prescriber,

not a counselor, and they work with you on the medications. There are

many modern medications that directly target various neuro transmitter

chemicals in the brain. Finding the right cocktail for each patient is

the trick- a little more Seratonin and Norepanephrine, a little less

Dopamine, like this, it's a game of hide and seek. The drugs are there,

but it's a hard area to diagnose clearly all the time.

 

 

So the shrinks today pretty much focus on these new drugs, which started

with Prozac, but has blossomed into a whole array of such things which

all target different things, and some undo the side effects of the

others, so you mix for that reason too.

 

 

It's very expensive. One can easily pay $4 to $6 per day for each drug,

and if there's a few prescribed, it can run you hundreds per month to be

on these meds.

 

 

They work, but it's a complex and tricky part of the body, and the cause

and cure of these kinds of mental diseases is still being researched.

It's a complex field where much relieving headway has been made, but

there's alot more to go.

 

 

One things for sure, anyone who has serious panic, depression, and all

mental illnesses, are usually treatable these days. Most of them are.

 

 

When one's mind and consciousness goes to extremes, one can perceive

things not normally noticed. This was the whole argument for LSD and

phychadelic mushrooms etc. That by seeing hallucinations, one's mind got

expanded, that these drugs made you feel differently about life.

 

 

In fact, these drugs directly work on the same chemicals that these

class of medications I mentioned target. Generally psychadelics and some

other drugs will either max or block one of these transmitters, thus

greatly affecting your brains functioning, thus you experience something

very unusual.

 

 

So now, the "mental diseases" are when the balance of these things is

such that "disfunctional symptoms" appear in the individual rather than

some pleasureable experience.

 

We all know or have heard of "bad trips" for people taking LSD. Yes,

some people experience horror when they take LSD. This is because of the

way their brain is balanced. The LSD has a different effect for them by

maxing out Seratonin as it does.

 

So, when you see "crazy" people walking down the street, often they

simply have very strange brain chemistry. That's why they're talking to

themselves, or walking strange.

 

I have had a highly productive life and have proved that my brain is

definitely capable of producing in the real world. I always got high

marks, got full scholarships to a University, excelled in the HK

Movement, excelled in business, programming, Jyotish, Music, Writing,

and other things. I've had a great life in the intellectual/mental arena.

 

So what went wrong?

 

Well, it's complex. If you read the journals, you see the shrinks

talking about environmental factors, genetic factors, and trigger

factors, and so on.

 

These are there with me. It's known to be a genetic thing, bi polar and

depression. That's known, and my family has lots of history. Then for

triggers, I know what they were for me, so I can give a story as to why

this happened to me.

 

But then scientists will have a slightly different story, somewhat

paralelling mine at first, then changing, and this is where it gets interesting.

 

At first, something starts a depletion, usually some stress in life,

depleting the brain in one way or another.

 

After this the shrinks say, the change in the persons thinking and

behavior begins a spiral downward, pulling down other neurotransmitters,

and eventually rendering the person a real basket case (at least in the

old days before these meds).

 

The person themself however doesn't notice the initial slow process of

depletion, of usually Seratonin first. They don't notice, as it's so gradual.

 

They then don't notice the next one going either, or the next, but

eventually, their lives fall apart due to so much bad functioning, then

it becomes more and more clear to everyone around them that something is

up with this person mentally.

 

People used to think it was "just the person". That "the person went

crazy" and we used to think there was alot of "weakness" in that and

that the person somehow "chose" that condition as a way of "backing out"

of life or whatever. There was punishment in the old times even. Or

sedation, or execution, etc.

 

Now, when your brain is good like mine is, then it somehow has the

misfortune of getting extremely out of balance in these checmicals, it

takes me to the edge of the mental envelope, from extreme jubilation, to

extreme sorrow, from extreme courage, to extreme panic and fear. Do you see?

 

All of these emotions are chemically induced in the brain, though they

are real to us, they are founded in chemical transmissions of

impressions and feelings. If these chemicals get out of whack from any

reason, you experience something, but what, it depends.

 

Some "crazies" get manic- hyper and dangerous. Others become catatonic,

not moving, not dangerous. Hearing voices is just a symptom of extremely

low Seratonin, and nothing more. I've been there.

 

Because people with serious mental illness have always been hidden in

the past, most people are not familiar with this area of life at all and

have the odd feelings about mental illness that were traditional in the

past. Even just the other day someone said to me "YOU'RE on anti depressents"?

 

Meaning "Das Goravani, of all people!"

 

That's simply a misunderstanding of how these things work. It's not

about who you are or what you know, it's about whether or not your

genetics, your environmental history, and your life experience triggers,

all line up to make you experience one of these conditions.

 

Some people have such strong brains, signified by well placed moons and

mercuries, that they never experience any of this and really don't have

any appreciation of what it is to be depressed. Sometimes they have been

through EXTREME difficulties and they can't understand therefore why

people who have been through LESS hardship are SO DAMN DEPRESSED and suicidal.

 

 

This vision, this misunderstanding, is VERY COMMON still today.

 

 

One simply needs to understand it's like diabetes. You either have it or

you don't. Alot of things lead to it, but you can maintain your life

with medications.

 

Of course, some say that there are natural ways.

 

That's fine.

 

But here's where it gets real: When you're depressed, you can barely do

anything. Bathing becomes rare for example, eating goes out the window,

usually the bed is the only place you tenet, sometimes for months, or

even years. Yes, there are people in bed for years, years and years. You

just don't know about them because their families are taking care of them.

 

So, if you're depressed, it's very hard to study, make money, purchase

lots of good things, gather them all, do the mix, and keep on a good

diet, and regiman in life, etc.

 

Rather, the depressed person will tend to do things to make themselves

worse and worse, because of the nature of how you feel when in these

illnesses- the urges and cravings you get are opposite what's good for

you. It's as if nature is weeding you out. Suicide is normal. It's

almost a forgone conclusion if there's no help- or the street- homeless

and crazy, soon they die somehow or another.

 

 

So, the depressed person usually needs help to get going again. Most in

America these days can get some help- at least some of these meds,

through welfare and so on. But it takes more than that to really fix us up.

 

 

We have to get our lives such that the environmental and triggers are

removed. Finding them is hard. It takes time and alot of introspection,

learning, experiences, and trial and error.

 

Then there's the hope of restoration, or the possibility of a life on

meds- this issue each case will face as they go along, finding out their

fate over time.

 

By now you should be able to easily understand that:

 

 

1. These are chemical based diseases, not choices or personality traits

per se

 

2. They are treatable today, at least symptomatically.

 

3. Why some people never get it, why some people will definitely get it,

and why some people who have suffered ALOT DO NOT have it while some

people who are RICH AND FAMOUS DO HAVE IT despite supposedly "Having

Everything" you could want.

 

The above, is the most important thing to understand, #3.

 

 

By now you should get that.

 

 

Back to other things: The going to the edge of the mental envelope is

where the fun and horror is. Nostradamus took drugs and saw things.

Other people have too, but there's high price tags for this kind of

behavior in the life. The brain doesn't take it well in one's future.

 

For Bi Polar people, the extreme highs are very real, and so are the

lows. They actually FEEL that high and good, and believe me, it can feel

TREMENDOUS. You cannot buy that feeling anywhere, and there's no drug

except perhaps Cocaine that approximates it. Raw power and happiness.

Full happiness, full conviction, full faith, clarity, everything, it's great.

 

The downs: Panic, horror, despair, fear, paranoia, remorse, etc., all at

once, and in successive waves. You feel absolutely unable to communicate

with the person you're trying to talk to.

 

Right now I'm not like that or I couldn't type this. When I said "in the

middle of" above...I meant earlier today was hell, so I'm figuring since

it just lifted, it might return, you never know, so I was just in the

cage a few hours ago. Fresh memories.

 

You fear losing things. You fear people not understanding causing you

life grief, taking things away from you in an effort to "help" you.

 

You don't want to lose your dignity, but people take it away, those who

don't understand.

 

Your friends eventually give up helping you, as it never improves, and

they expect improvement if they're gonna invest their time giving you a

"pep talk". It cannot be cured quickly this way.

 

Isolation is one of the feelings. This is my particular issue. My

memories goes back to very very young, pre-talking. So I know what

happened. I was left in a crib all day as a baby, crying and crying

alone. Then things happened such that I got switched between schools

constantly, and was always the odd person in the class. Then I skipped a

grade due to being smart, but this further complicated my social life.

 

Then my dreams of saving the world began, and I launched my own campaign

to become the greatest religious singer of my day, by playing guitar

through my entire teens instead of socializing. I got real good, and

went to college for music, but joined the HK's instead halfway through,

and gave up music.

 

The HK's further estranged me, being a very separatist movement in many ways.

 

Then I fell out of love with much of it, and am now isolated due to not

wanting to go to any of that, not knowing anyone else harldly, and only

knowing people through email.

 

So often there are triggers like deaths, changes, moves, and so on, that

bring it on in a person who is pre-disposed.

 

For me, the realization that I was getting older, and that I didn't like

my old group of friends so much anymore, then the loss of my wife and

then the following girlfriend also, on top of having built a worload for

myself that really required having a wife, and I had full custody of my

two kids, so I just stressed out and died. It broke me. After years of

just programming and building businesses, I just rather collapsed.

 

Although I had had depressions before, the recent long bout of 2 years

is definitely the biggest problem I've dealt with in life so far. This

one started back in Janurary of 2000 and hasn't lifted since really,

except briefly here and there. It's like living like walking in mud, but

make that pain- it's slow, hard, and painful. Sometimes there's so much

confusion and pain, that one can only think of ending it. That's why

people do it.

 

When people are in an episode of serious depression, ie, they are either

crying pathetically in a fetal position, curled up in the corner

sobbing, or just catatonic for days, etc., but especially when they're

having a serious attack, the best thing to do is not talk about the

issues, but just say "everything is ok" and "i love you" and so on, over

and over. If you are ACTUALLY someoone the person ACTUALLY loves, then

you can touch them, otherwise do not.

 

Isolation is best solved by proving that it does not exist to the

person. This is hard to fake. Most street people and crazy people have

in common a dissassociation from their roots in some way, either by not

having family, or moving too far away, or changing too much, or killing

their brains with drugs too...but that comes from being depressed too,

it's also just a symptom of depression- to want to be high all the time.

 

Depression can be caused by things we do and do not eat. But this is a

big science, so I'm not going into it. Some things will deplete us and

lead us there, like coffee, cigarettes, drugs, certain foods, and

certain foods and herbs will improve the parts of the brain affected in

these diseases.

 

My children are sick of my problem now. They are becoming rude to me

now, turning their backs more and more, sending signals more and more

that they can't deal with it anymore. Many friends went away a long time

ago, and wives, girlfriends. So this leads to feelings that are horrible

for such a person already suffering such feelings. So it compounds.

 

This leads to the wise hiding it. The real mental greats of history

often talked in riddles when talking about these things, or mentioned

things in poetry that others think is just poetry, but believe me, it's not.

 

Sometimes, usually, Saintly people have these diseases, which aids them

in having the intense feelings they have for God. Sometimes in some

cultures one's "God Experiences" are induced by publicly ritualized

taking of intoxiations such as some peoples native to the American

continent, which again, is just messing with your brain intentionally.

 

Just as a junky who is coming off the drug feels pain throughout their

body, and this often sends them back to heroin, so does the person

predisposed to drug taking, depression, suicide, etc., feel ALL THEIR

LIFE some type of low level pain throughout their body and mental system

and emotions, due to the predisposition. I can recognize these dark

cases easily, in childhood, youth, or any age, and I'm marginally one of

them. I get to be extreme, I'm one of those- from the extreme of high

function and success, to the darkness which I live alone, hiding it,

because if fully exposed, would cause me to lose things.

 

That's why, another reason why, there is so much privacy around great

people. Because very often they are being really weird and it needs to

be hidden from public view.

 

If such a person is highly productive and important, they may be able to

hire or otherwise acquire helpers to take care of them, as in the case

of some famous authors of the past. Someone should have taken care of

Van Gough, for example, and he might have lived. Others too.

 

Sri Caitanya had the symptoms of EXTREME bi polar disorder. But in his

case, it's been eulogized to Sainthood fully, for His faithful

followers. But to be dryly scientific, he was a case for sure, as were

many other greats of history.

 

Sometimes the Euphoria one feels on certain drugs, say Heroin or

Mushrooms, is felt simultaneously along with great fear or other

negative emotions, by the person suffering mental disease. This is why a

perfectly sane person can eventually seem like a blithering idiot, and

sometimes why crazy people are so good at one thing- like the Autistic

Savants- believe me I know where they are coming from- they have extreme

brains. It's very subtle and hard to see, but science is making progress

mapping all this stuff.

 

All of this does not contrary Hinduism or Jyotish. This is a part of

one's karma or not. Also, the body always paralells the karma. Just look

at my chart, and look at exactly how smashed the Moos in, by which

planet, and what dashas am I in?

 

It all makes sense. It's karma. One can also follow Gita principles to

calm the mind most of the mind, such as the principal of karma yoga,

which automatically includes surrendering oneself to God, so it detaches

us somewhat from cause and effect, and the pains caused by such

identifications of self. So Hinduism helps with depression, and I use it

that way often.

 

However, those who really have these problems, will have episodes, that

can come on quite suddenly, and appear extremely severe to those around,

..... such as, you are one moment talking to the person and they are ok,

then they stand there staring for a moment thinking, and suddenly start

crying, and then it escalates and escalates until you think they are

going to die from crying so hard, then they collapse and sleep for a

day, and then wake up and LOVE LIFE AND EVERYBODY for a day, then

suddenly they crash again, and so on. It's a wipe out for those around,

and that is why they used to just sedate these people in homes out in

the countryside.

 

Many great minds have spent time in such "insane asylums" and they were

never "insane", not REALLY.

 

But I tell you this, and have no doubt, in the minds of some of those

crazy people in those places and walking down the street, are some

pretty incredible visions and realizations, mixed in with a overriding

ton of confusion, which makes it innaccessible and unuseable to anyone

else. Rarely does "a crazy" have the karma to channel it to anyone else

effectively or usefully.

 

Panic hide....

 

you have no idea how rare it is for one of us to reveal this much, it's

only because my jupiter tells me to sacrifice myself for the greater

good...so i'm doing it...in fear of being judged and harming my life

more as the first paragraph, but not caring about myself, i did it anyway

 

 

this has allowed me to see heaven and hell

 

i understand saint bernadette, why she hid her pain, and why she

surfaced as an ecstatic visionary and was so devoted.

 

so in the karma, so in the chart, so in the brain, so in the life,

because all is one actually, though within the one, diverse. you are the

flower born at the universal moment and place of your chart, your body

is like a part of a machine, performs a series of functions and dies,

and you are the witness, and learn and experience thereby, as a partical

of consciousness, capable of being in other vehicles, including

spiritual bodies.

 

 

My case contains the reality of midlife onset. This after being

successful in many ways and having a family still to raise.

 

Now I am alone with no spouse, and have the two kids still, and the

business still, and the problem or disease still. I am still trying to

function, actually "function highly" by carrying out all these tasks,

but I'm slowly failing, the disease is winning, I'm sorry to say.

 

I'm hoping for a turnaround, of course. I am changing Bhuktis for the

better, and Sanjay said the transits are gonna help me soon, and I hope

he's right.

 

When I look ahead and see my next dasha is my worst planet and it's

Mercury, I get afraid in one sense.

 

But I'm made such that I have no fear, not REALLY.

 

Cuzz I've always been religious deeply.

 

But you know, we all want a good life, so if your mind is telling you

that you feel horrible, and that you've lost everything and everything

is right now very terrible, then you're gonna be unhappy, even if you

are religious, generally.

 

To feel TOTAL pain and still be SHANTI

 

Is what makes a TOTAL saint like Bernadette of Lourdes and why her

Shakti still sometimes heals the sick there in Lourdes.

 

Her chart is plainly highly spiritual and religious, as was her life.

 

Only because of this onset two years has GJ3 taken so long. I can barely

ever get through the pain to do anything at all. I can barely run the

business. I really need love and help to cure the isolation, but I'm

really an extremely picky person, a perfectionist, in some ways, and in

other ways too, and very sensitive to people's moods and thoughts...so,

it's hard for me to find appropriate companions and help and spouse.

 

 

I am trying to adjust to all of this. It is always a surprise to find

out you have some serious condition, right? We all think "it will never

happen to me" until it does, whether it's this thing, or a car crash, or

HIV, or drug addiction, or whatever.

 

 

There is so much detail to this subject that I could go on alot longer,

but I think I'll stop here for now.

 

 

I hope this helps somebody somewhere, more than it harms me.

 

 

Also, people having mental attacks:

 

Usually warming them up helps- they usually feel chills

Giving them hot mild or tea, that is tasty, comforting

Calming herbs and things that ground

Nothing that increases Vatta

The oils of hemp and evening primrose and flax- very good

Not only grounding, but help make one feel less pain due to promotion of

prostoglandin production

Though many want to smoke pot, it aggravates the situation greatly

A small amount of magic mushroom boosts seratonin immediately within an

hour, giving relief- only a very small amount is needed- not enough to

get high really- that's using it medicinally as opposed to the normal

overdose which is termed "recreational" which has deletirous long term

effects so it seems if one studies the statistics

 

But then again, when you go down that path, of wanting to see what

you're not normally made to see, then you are asking for becoming "not

normal" after all aren't you?

 

 

The magical plants and herbs have their properties and uses, and their

misuses, which are dramatic. Life is about balance, so dramatic and

extreme, or dangerous, so says also Krishna in Gita- that passion leads

to pain.

 

OK, enough,

 

in service, not vanity, really, please.

[Guest guest]

Dear Goravani

Thanks for that .I will file it away as an excellent reference for dealing

with clients who may suffer from this ailment .

It is always benficial to hear perspectives from inside a situation rather

than simply making judgements from outside it .

One critique of the many jyotish lists I've seen in operation is that the

budding jyotishis seem almost soley concerned with techniques and are not

sufficiently interested in the quality of advice and help offered . This

could get to the situation where a first class jyotish still offers third

rate advice .It is arguably preferable to have a third class jyotish

offering first class advice .Balance is required .

I salute the Libra Rasi on this point

Nicholas