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Dear Shri Das (Goravani),

 

Your recent mailing on Venus unto Saturn and vice versa, is extremely

thought provoking and its shows something I have believed all my life, if

you have a question, more often than not, you have the answers to it too.

All that remains is to choose wisely between the answers offered, so that

your actions are good. Consequently, your thoughts will be good and you

will enter a Chakravyuh that is just goodness, at the center of which lies

God. God may be worshipped as a deity or in any form, but his best form of

worship, comes in aspiring to be with him, as a servant or as a friend, or

as anything you view him/her as. God my be deemed responsible for all the

occurrences in this world, but what he has given us is the power to shape

our own destiny by our action and thought, and therefore has made us tiny

little Gods in our own right, in that we can control or influence a small

part of the world we all live in. That makes us Godly. What we should

strive to do consciously is to condition ourselves unconsciously to do just

that which is rightful. No religion tells you to kill, and in the true

sense, one may follow one of the commandments - Do to others what you would

expect done to yourselves. When one does that, and he conditions himself

that he will do that no matter what, he will be a lot closer to God/Godliness.

 

As to the answer being there with the question, a few days back we had a

posting on depression and isolation followed by todays statement on Shreyas

and Preyas and the diamond. One has to remember that the best diamonds are

those that are lucid, those that are lucid are those that are untainted by

any other impurity / inclusions, and to be that way way, they are the ones

that are the most isolated crystal, that metamorphose from the womb of a

mother whose breath is fire and blood is lava.

 

Some time back Das, I used to write verse ( I was 18, a dumbkopf, but the

Mars in me kept saying hey don't worry, you got nothing to lose even if you

dont gain.) and once I wrote this. It may be long, but please endure....

 

So much to speak about

So little that can be spoken......

So much to think about what I have and have not broken.

Am I going to be what I want

Someone born of fire and forged of steel

Will I to my heart succumb?

Or will I to my fears kneel?

 

Am I going to live up to someone

Or will I simply live for myself

Will the warmth of relationships

light the fires in my heart

Or will the selfishness of logic

Make my emotions go cold?

 

A lot of questions will go unanswered,

A lot of stories lie untold

A lot of wishes will go unfulfilled

A lot of ideas remain unsold

 

So much that could be written about

So less will actually be.

So much is going to happen

Yet so much will remain unchanged

 

Diamonds will still be, Diamonds,

Stone will still be stone,

I don't know what I'll be

I do know I'll never be alone.

Will I be another hero,

Or just another cast in the mould.

As to what I am, I don't really know,

As to what we all are I don't either

Why are we here?, now?, or anytime?,

Is this for real, or is it a pantomime?

 

Some feel I think, while others think I feel,

Some others feel and think and say I think and feel

Some want me to say it in writing,

Some others want it written in my blood,

 

Some would like to see me at their side,

Some would like to see me gone,

Lots would wish all this could be true,

That I am no one's man and then everyone's too.

 

What is it I really want ?

Or am I here to give?

Can I be a bit of both at the same time?

A selfishly generous, generously selfish person.

 

Born of fire and forged of steel, will I to my fears kneel?

 

I have felt lonely, chillingly achingly lonely in places where one would

never comprehend lonely. When you look at life from that plane Das, trust

me you nver feel lonely because you have all that is unseen, untold and

therefore, everyone else is lonely. Everytime I felt lonely Das, I would

write a "poem"

 

I'm sorry if I've bored or offended someone, and somewhere there's a

ticker that's keeping track, I owe you all sometime.

 

Bye for now,

 

Ajay "the Spook".

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