Between Heaven and Earth

[Guest guest]

Vyam Vysadevaya Namah

Hi Das.

 

I had a feeling that you were going through a struggle between Venus and

Jupiter. It seemed so clear in your posts, that you struggled between achieving

in body and achieving in soul. No doubt the soul lasts longer, thats why I would

chose Jupiter.. always.

 

But, Jupiter can change alot on earth.

 

The last two Maha Dasa's of Saturn and Jupiter couldn't have been auspicious on

a whole, as they are posited in the 8th houses from Sun. The upcoming Mercury

Maha Dasa is joined with Sun and will be ausipicious no doubt.

 

I don't think attributing the progression of the minds, phases can be attributed

very well to the Rasi. Vimshottari Dasa may show very acurately how we(our mind

or body) reacts to the world, but Kala chakra Dasa will surely show if you feel

that your on the right Dharmic track, and how various activities join in on the

show.

 

KCD is quite sensitive to birthtime errors(1 min=3months), but take a look at

your Maha Dasa's in relation to Navamsa Lagna and you should get a good picture

as to where your heading.

 

Best wishes, Visti.

[Guest guest]

Hello

 

When I was five I wanted to "help people". When I was 12 I wanted to be

a priest. At 13 I joined the pre-priesthood program the Catholic Church

offered for young aspiring priests. At 19 I switched to Hinduism and

became a strict, respected, highly placed Hare Krishna devotee. For

years thereafter I did nothing but serve that mission and cause. After

leaving the formal movement, I continued in this way until now.

 

However, in the last 5 years I gradually lost something- that's what I'm

writing about. I'd call it clarity, or purpose, something subtle, but

profound.

 

During this period, what I think was the active agent of my decay in

this part of me is directly the nature of the woman I've been trying to

have a relationship with, and that of her daughter. The two of them have

Venus's rising signs, and both have Moon in the first. They're fine

people, but how they affect me is not ok with me.

 

All of us are torn between Heaven and Earth to different degrees. For

me, it used to be manageable- my ties to Earthly temptations and

pleasures was acceptable, or manageable. Since being in this

relationship, I think what it is, is that my ties to Earthly reasonings

and activities has simply increased far too much for my Earth-thin blood

to handle.

 

I would like any input anyone can give me on this.

 

For a couple years now this confusion has led to the depression I've

talked about on this list, which by the way, I'm continuing to do real

good. I think the combination I'm following of taking the oil, many

supplements aimed at the nervous system and brain, and avoiding taking

pain killing phychotropic's like Ganja, and trying to be at peace,

excercising, all of what I'm doing, is working, to break the cycle of

depression. I'm doing pretty fine actually these days, for some time

now. Yay.

 

But I still face a huge question, whether to somehow someday get away

from this particular woman, and others like her, as I see it, that is,

people who are able to, or want to, put their "earth bound" side first

in their priorities, whereas all my life I was used to putting my

"heaven's service" side first. I think essentially, I've always been a

priest, though the kind that wanted to be married. My first wife,

despite all other attributes that made it hard, was at least very

missionary as well, and in that way, I didn't have this problem.

 

Or is it just that the lack of "association", people, in my life for

years is what's wrong with my mood. I've been mostly working, and mostly

working alone, for 14 years, but moreso since I met her since our union

caused me to be ostracized, or self ostracized, or something, or

conincided with me becoming very tired of typical Hare Krishna goings

ons in HK communities I lived in. See, lack of clarity.

 

I think it is perhaps the battle between Venus and Jupiter in a sense,

or worldly qualities and higher callings. Hence my title, "Between

Heaven and Earth".

 

I've sought clarity on this high and low, and continue to do so. Day

after day it continues to be a dilemna. The kind of input I seek is

clarity. I don't mean to create anything here other than if someone or

some few can help me to see through my lack of clarity to something that

will truly help me get more clear, more dynamic. I just don't want to

sit in this muddle for the rest of my life.

 

As far as this list is concerned, the impact is that my ability to be my

"fire" self, which produced my software, which made me so able to work

in the past, has been put nearly out for the last few years. I've gotten

so little done.

 

Now that I'm feeling good again, I wish to return to work, but it's so

hard. I am really disturbed by a few things about my girlfriend and her

second daughter, and the thought that I am currently on a track which

will keep me around them for the duration, though that is not at all set

in stone in any way as she's avoided marrying me for all this time.

 

Das Goravani, 5-18-1960, 04:43 AM, Oakland CA USA

 

Bernadette, 11-11-1965, 18:25 PM, Uster Switzerland (township near Zurich)

 

Does anyone think (as she does) that the fact that my next dasha is the

first one in my life outside of the fire trine, and it's in her rising

sign Taurus, means that I will be more Tauresian, more Venusian, etc.

The dispositor is back in the fire trine after all. She's often trying

to convince me to accept the Taurus side, the Earth side, the pleasure

and relaxation side. I've never lived like that. I've been pure

missionary fire all my life. Sitting around these days unable to be

clear to be firey has been the most uncomfortable period of my life FOR

SURE. I've never suffered internally so long and bad as I have the last

few years.

 

Thanks in advance,

 

Peace