Off Topic: Haiku

[Guest guest]

Loved it! LOL

Had a very frustrating tech support (??) call w/ microsoft--very

self-impressed man wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise, he was so sure it

was not his problem. My 13 year old son was listening wide-eyed as I got

more and more flabbergasted and more and more interrupted. I hung up and my

son said, "Ok, tell me the problem and I'll be the Microsoft *&^% " (pretty

apt expletive actually but I'll behave) .

Me: "Well--"

Son:"Zip it!"

Me: "But--"

Son:"Shhhhhh!"

Me: "Uh--"

Son: "UUUUUUt!"

Me: "-"

Son: "SHHHHHHHHH! That was a pre-emptive SHHH! WHOA HA HA HA HA!"

:::::::::::perfect Dr. Evil laugh:::::::::

 

So I hired him out to deal with the problem --problem got solved, too! He

had the smug little tech "support" guy laughing at his serious self!!

Reality ain't so bad with a liberal dose of humor!

Thanks, Evie,

Robin

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Friday, April 6, 2001

 

You Make Me Laugh -- Crosswalk.com

http://entertainment.crosswalk.com

<a href="http://entertainment.crosswalk.com">Click Here</a>

 

IMAGES #1 PICTURES FROM ROCK THE UNIVERSE IN HOLLYWOOD

http://entertainment.crosswalk.com/articles/1,,1710~12759.htm

 

 

*********************************************

With the purchase of Audio Adrenaline's upcoming release, Hit

Parade, which includes all of their biggest hits, we'll also

send you the Some Kind Of Zombie CD Single and Don't Censor

Me Extended Play Remixes for free! That's 3 CDs for only

$12.99!

http://www.christianbook.com/html/static/CD21987mf.html?p=1004769

**********************************************************

 

 

JOKE #1 Haiku Error Messages

 

Sony has announced its own computer operating system is now

available. Instead of producing the cryptic error messages

characteristic of Microsoft's Windows operating systems,

Sony's chairman said, "We intend to capture the high ground

by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been - until

now ... an operating system that reflects Western cultural

hegemony. For example, we have replaced the impersonal and

unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese

haiku poetry."

 

The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error

messages:

 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A file that big?

It might be very useful.

But now it is gone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The Web site you seek

cannot be located but

endless others exist

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chaos reigns within.

Reflect, repent, and reboot.

Order shall return.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

ABORTED effort:

Close all that you have.

You ask way too much.

 

 

LINK #1 INTERVIEW WITH YOLANDA ADAMS

http://entertainment.crosswalk.com/articles/1,,1710~12677.htm

 

 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Yesterday it worked

Today it is not working

Windows is like that.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

First snow, then silence.

This thousand dollar screen dies

so beautifully.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

With searching comes loss

and the presence of absence:

"My Novel" not found.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Windows NT crashed.

I am the Blue Screen of Death.

No one hears your screams.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Stay the patient course

Of little worth is your ire

The network is down

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A crash reduces

your expensive computer to

a simple stone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Three things are certain:

Death, taxes, and lost data

Guess which has occurred.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You step in the stream,

but the water has moved on.

This page is not here.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Out of memory.

We wish to hold the whole sky,

But we never will.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Having been erased,

The document you're seeking

Must now be retyped.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Serious error.

All shortcuts have disappeared.

Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

 

*From Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh Archives

http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

<a href="http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh">Click</a>*

 

LINK #2 INTERVIEW WITH NICHOLE NOREDEMAN

http://entertainment.crosswalk.com/music/articles/1,,1710~12487.htm

 

JOKE #2

 

An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car

accident.

 

They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all

three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were

about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and

opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses

present asked him what happened.

 

"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then

there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the

Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St.

Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to

die, and said that for a donation of $50, we could return

to earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him

the $50, and the next thing I knew was back here."

 

"That's amazing!" said the one of the doctors, "But what

happened to the other two?"

 

"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was

haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for

the government to pay his."

 

 

*Last Laugh*

 

In the coming weeks this scene may be repeated thousands of

times.

http://www.cybersalt.org/cw/hh.htm

<a href="http://www.cybersalt.org/cw/hh.htm">Click Here</a>

 

____________________SUBSCRIPTION INFO_______________________

 

* You d to Laugh-a-lot as:

< evie >

* To from this newsletter, send an email to:

< leave-laughalot-296967E >

* To change your address: your old address

and then your new address.

* 2000 Crosswalk.com, Inc. and its Content

Providers. All rights reserved.

* For a complete list of free email newsletters from

Crosswalk.com, go to < http://www.crosswalk.com/lists >

* To to this newsletter, send an email to:

< laughalot-join >.

* The jokes published in this list were either submitted

directly to Laugh-a-lot or are, we believe, in the public

domain. If you think that we have published a joke without

giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know

and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.

__________