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Lame Yoga Jokes

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Q. What did the yogi say to the sandwich vendor at the ball game?

A. Make me one with everything!

 

After the man received his sandwich, he gave the vendor a $20 bill.

The vendor just smiled. The

man, infuriated, demanded, "Where is my change."

The vendor replied, "O, one with everything, change comes from

within."

 

Q. What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to

his home selling vacuum cleaners?

A. Too many attachments!

 

Q. How many Iyengar yogis does it take to replace a light bulb?

A. Only one !

 

BUT, they will need:

a sticky mat

a backless chair

two blocks

five blankets

a bolster

six ropes

two belts

six assorted benches

a bandage

a slant board

two quarter rounds

three weights

one wooden horse

a certificate

 

Q. What did the sign in the window of the yoga master searching for a

new disciple say?

A. Inquire within!

 

Q. Why did the yogi refuse anesthesia when having his wisdom teeth

removed?

A. He wanted to transcend-dental-medication!

 

The Lone Bat

A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave discovers a single

bat STANDING upright underneath on the floor of the cave. Surprised

by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: "What's wrong with

you? What are you doing down there?" And the fellow shouts

back: "Yoga!"

 

Meditation

Two good old friends were meeting. "How are you and your family?"

asks the one. "Oh we're all fine". The other one answers, "We're all

healthy and have work to earn our lives. But how 'bout your son?? is

he still workless??Not at all", the first one answers, "He's doing

meditation now.Meditation? What's this? What is he doing?I

don't know it exactly," the first one answers again, "But I'm sure

it's better than just sitting down and doing nothing!"

 

Knock knock

Knock knock

Who's there?

Yoga

Yoga who?

Yoga to try this, it feels amazing.

 

Gifts

On the anniversary of his birth, devotees of a certain yogi asked

what gifts they might bring.

The yogi replied "I wish no gifts, only presence"

 

A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her

fingernails down to the quick was advised by a friend to take up

yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally. Her

friend asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervousness. "No," she

replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead." --

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To Sis Kari,

 

Happy 2003 to you! Forgot to say thank you for "Yoga Bloopers"

and "Lame Yoga Jokes". Got me cracking up..!! Love it. Printing 2

copies, one for a pal and one for me, of course :-)

Bless ya,

Sy

 

, karisprowl

<no_reply> wrote:

> Q. What did the yogi say to the sandwich vendor at the ball game?

> A. Make me one with everything!

>

> After the man received his sandwich, he gave the vendor a $20 bill.

> The vendor just smiled. The

> man, infuriated, demanded, "Where is my change."

> The vendor replied, "O, one with everything, change comes from

> within."

>

> Q. What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to

> his home selling vacuum cleaners?

> A. Too many attachments!

>

> Q. How many Iyengar yogis does it take to replace a light bulb?

> A. Only one !

>

> BUT, they will need:

> a sticky mat

> a backless chair

> two blocks

> five blankets

> a bolster

> six ropes

> two belts

> six assorted benches

> a bandage

> a slant board

> two quarter rounds

> three weights

> one wooden horse

> a certificate

>

> Q. What did the sign in the window of the yoga master searching for

a

> new disciple say?

> A. Inquire within!

>

> Q. Why did the yogi refuse anesthesia when having his wisdom teeth

> removed?

> A. He wanted to transcend-dental-medication!

>

> The Lone Bat

> A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave discovers a

single

> bat STANDING upright underneath on the floor of the cave. Surprised

> by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: "What's wrong with

> you? What are you doing down there?" And the fellow shouts

> back: "Yoga!"

>

> Meditation

> Two good old friends were meeting. "How are you and your family?"

> asks the one. "Oh we're all fine". The other one answers, "We're

all

> healthy and have work to earn our lives. But how 'bout your son??

is

> he still workless??Not at all", the first one answers, "He's

doing

> meditation now.Meditation? What's this? What is he doing?I

> don't know it exactly," the first one answers again, "But I'm sure

> it's better than just sitting down and doing nothing!"

>

> Knock knock

> Knock knock

> Who's there?

> Yoga

> Yoga who?

> Yoga to try this, it feels amazing.

>

> Gifts

> On the anniversary of his birth, devotees of a certain yogi asked

> what gifts they might bring.

> The yogi replied "I wish no gifts, only presence"

>

> A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her

> fingernails down to the quick was advised by a friend to take up

> yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally. Her

> friend asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervousness. "No,"

she

> replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them

instead." --

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