premature ejaculation problem

[Guest guest]

Hi Cristian

Thanks for your reply. You mean to say that there are absolutely no

medical help available to resolve the problem of pre-mature

ejaculation at all?

Could you list a few titles of the books to begin with?

Thanks in advance.

Regards

Ash

[Guest guest]

Message: 3 Mon, 18 Aug 2003 12:49:26 -0000 "ash_ruh"

<ash_ruh Premature Ejaculation Problem

 

Introducing myself, I am about 30 years male and got married just about a month

ago. My primary concern pertains to my sex life. On

 

I need to mention that I smoke about 5-6 cigrettes a day which I presume should

not

affect my sexual life. Please clarify.

 

Dear ash_ruh

 

Your problem is quite common, and in regard to nicotine it usually promotes the

opposite effects, so I would expect that it the habit continues you may find

that when

you are older you will regard your current circumstance with some affection ;-).

 

Basically, you need to train yourself. Masturbation, by yourself, is probably

the best

way to do this, but b/c of the excessive visual stimuli I wouldn't recommend

adult

movies to facilitate this. Instead, manually stimulate yourself to the point of

orgasm,

but then stop just before. Learn to recognize what this feeling is, the one that

indicates you are about to ejaculate. Get really good at this, and in a typical

session,

see how many times you can bring yourself to this point without ejaculating.

Give

yourself a goal, say, do it once the first time, and in successive sessions try

to

increase the number of times you can manually stimulate yourself without

ejaculating. Then, as a reward, allow yourself to come to orgasm.

 

The next thing to become aware of are the activities of the pubococcygeal (PC)

muscles, located between your scrotum and anus. These are the same muscles you

would use to stop yourself from urinating in mid-stream. Its an upward pulling

sensation, opposite of the downward pushing sensation used during defecation.

These muscles may be weak in your case, and could be another potential source of

your problem. To strengthen these muscles you need to do something called Kegel

exercises.

 

Kegel exercises were originally developed by gynecologist Arnold Kegel to help

incontinent women. The technique utilizes a series of isometric exercises to

strengthen the PC muscle. There are two parts to Kegel exercises, both of which

are

best performed while lying on you back, with the knees tucked into your chest:

 

1. Slow clenching- contract and hold the PC muscle for a slow count of three,

and

then relax. Repeat 9 times

 

2. Fast clenching- rapidly contract and relax the PC muscle thirty times, and

then

relax. Repeat twice

 

Both techniques should be repeated as much as five times a day, and can even be

performed while at work. Initially, there may be difficulty in performing these

exercises, but with practice the PC muscle will become stronger and contractions

will

become easier.

 

When you have mastered the ability to stop yourself from ejaculating by ceasing

stimulation, and have strengthened the PC muscles with the Kegel exercises, you

can

combine them to enhance your love-making potential. When masturbating, allow

yourself to come to the point of ejaculation and then stop the stimulation and

simultaneously contract the PC muscle, in rapid succession, until the feeling

diminishes. As in the first exercise, repeat this several times in each session,

learning

how the PC muscle inhibits the ejaculatory response.

 

The final step of course is to use this with your partner. Come up with some

kind of

communication system (a light touch, a hand or voice signal) that indicates to

her that

you need her to stop, and then ask her to manually stimulate you. When you have

reached the point just before the point of no-return tell her to stop and then

contract

the PC muscle and attempt to inhibit the ejaculation. When you have successfully

done this a few times, use this technique during sexual intercourse, and when

you

feel that feeling, stop any movement or pull out completely and contract the PC

muscle repeatedly. Some ancient texts suggest making a face like a roaring lion

to

help this - basically some activity that takes your mind off the intensity of

stimulus.

You could also mentally recite the alphabet backwards, recite a mantra, sing a

song,

etc. When the sensation diminishes you can then continue. During a typical love-

making session a man may have to do this several times, given that it usually

takes

the woman longer to come to orgasm.

 

Eventually, when you have mastered all of these techniques you will find that

you are

able to simply contract the PC muscle during intercourse to stop the ejaculatory

response, even without stopping. Many oriental texts from India, Persia and

China

suggest this "holdback" method to prevent ejaculation. The benefit is that your

partner is satisfied while you are able to have several "almost" orgasms in a

typical

love-making session. At the end of the session however, I recommend that you do

eventually ejaculate, despite the fact that some texts recommend that you do

not, in

order to preserve the vital essence stored in the sperm. This is an advanced

technique

of the left-handed path of tantra and is definitely not recommended for casual

use.

 

One further note: make sure that both you and your partner are well-lubricated.

If

wearing condoms, use the appropriate lubricant, but otherwise something like

coconut, sesame or olive oil is good. This will reduce friction and therefore

reduce

stimulation.

 

Okay, and one more thing: avoid watching adult movies when your partner isn't

there.

It creates an unnecessary amount of underlying sexual tension that will tend to

promote the problem. Sex is wonderful, but it has a context, and you are better

off

getting some work done, or going for a walk than to watch sexually provocative

material. As it is our society is over-stimulated sexually, especially men, who

respond

to visual stimuli much more profoundly than women, and therefore creates a kind

of

sexual inequity. I'm not saying porno is bad or wrong like some in the Ayurvedic

community might, but it should be viewed as a sexual aid, not an end in itself.

 

best... Todd Caldecott