SBOI - Post HOW I BECAME A SAI DEVOTEE

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Love and Light, Jessica ;( in residence on Vancouver Island in Canada

now).leeladhar <leedhar (AT) rediffmail (DOT) com> wrote:

HOW I BECAME A SAI DEVOTEE—Shri B. R. Kakade,Dahisar (West)How I beanie a Sai

Devotee will mean explaining one's own experiences inone's own point of view.

However, the result of such writing will lead thereaders to the path of Sai

devotion. I have full faith in Sai.I was not believing in 'God' in my

childhood, but my father never got angrywith me nor used any wild words for my

peculiar thinking about God. However,he used his intellect to change my mind

towards the belief in God; and thattoo through his good colleagues who made a

fine friendship with me byrequesting me by honouring me to read some religious

books for them as theywere old and could not pay attention to reading. This

made me change myviews about God in "Sagun" and "Nirgun" aspects i.e. the

formed and formlessaspects. The marble idols of god in whom people believe

which were mereSTONES for me in the beginning of my life—now became practical

observancesin my daily life and the source of inspiration.In my school days in

1927, when I was only 16 years of age, I was trapped inthe big flood of

Gujarat. I was at Baroda with my father at that time. Heavyflood waters divided

the city into two parts and both of us were in one partand my younger brother

and grandmother were in the other. We tried to crossthe river bridge of high

level water but the police objected to this.However, we tried to enter the

water on the bridge travelling upto my neck,We failed to return and thus were

trapped by waters of the flood. At thiscritical time of life and death, one

tall man of about 7 feet in height,having beard and Roomal on head shouted

loudly directing us both to stand atthe same place and be came through water,

got both of us in his own handsand took us to the other side of the roaring

river where my brother

andgrandmother were anxiously waiting for us. I inquired about the person

whosaved us and it is a wonder to note that he was not there. I tried to

findhim out but in vain. This was the first devotional darshan of Shri Sai in

mylife in 1927."How I became a Sai Devotee" will require me to explain some

more facts as Iam happy in these days of my life at the age of 63 years and

that Shri Saiis always with us as I feel how my spiritual life is holy and

perfect in theend of my life. For this I was required to follow Shri Sai Baba

through myimpulse and the quickening impulse which came from outside cannot

bereceived from books The 'soul' can only receive impulse from another souland

from nothing else. In my views, I can say that we can read books all ourlives,

we can become very intellectual and in the end we find that we havenot

developed at all spiritually. This type of study will not be equivalentin

development of the spiritual

side of a man. On the other hand, we findcases almost every day when the

intellect has become very highly developedat the expense of the spirit. In

intellectual development, we can get muchhelp from books, but in spiritual

development almost nothing.In studying books, sometimes we feel that we are

developed in "thinking" andthat we are spiritually helped but if we analyse

ourselves, we will findthat only our intellect has been helped and not the

spirit. This is thereason why almost everyone of us can speak most wonderfully

on spiritualsubjects but when SAI came, we found ourselves so woefully

deficient. Thisis because books cannot give us that "impulse" from outside.

This shouldcome from another soul from which this impulse comes is called the

"Guru"The Teacher"—and the soul to which this impulse is conveyed is called

the"Shishya", "The student". In order to convey this power of transmission

ofmessages from the Guru to the Shishya

and vice versa, will require to ploughthe field of living seed and when both

these conditions are fulfilled, awonderful growth of religion takes place. And

this happened practically inmy life in 1943 when my eldest daughter was ill by

double typhoid fever for42 days (Relapsed case). A committee of 3 doctors

declared her case as"Fatal" one on the 41st day of her illness and asked me to

leave this caseto God. The same day, it happened so, that one old man (with

beard) fromMadras had come to us through one of my friends in Baroda and when

thatbearded old man saw my daughter, he told me not to fear. I was surprised

inlistening to him when I was actually facing a critical moment in life, butthe

old man had convinced me in such a way that I became fearless when Icame to know

that the man was not present at night when my daughter got adream of Sai Baba. I

had inquired with my friend about the old man but invain. His advice was nothing

but

the Devotional Darshan for the second timein my life. When I was only 32 years

old, this happened.This all happened in my life which gave me the direction to

follow thedevotional side of Shri Sai Baba to understand that we must first try

to getthe 'idea' that is conveyed through "Inherent Tendency" i.e. Sanskara.Here

I can see a fine example of a lake for the mind. It can be said thatevery ripple

or wave that rises on the surface of the lake; does not die outentirely when it

subsides, but leaves a "mark" behind or a futurepossibility of the rising of

similar waves on it Whatever may be its nature,this mark of the possibility of

the wave re-appearing is what is called"Sanskar" or "Inherent Tendency' Every

work that we do even to every momentof the time and every movement of the body,

every thought that we think,leaves such an "Impression" on the mind stuff and

even when such impressionsnot obvious on the surface, they are

sufficiently strong to work beneath thesurface subconsciously. What we are every

moment is determined by the sumtotal of such previous impressions on the

mind.What I am just at this moment when I am writing on this subject is

theeffect of the sum total of all the impressions that have been left in mymind

by each and all the works that I have done in my pastlife and that iswhy I

experience Sadguru Sai in my practical life without having a blindfaith.

Sadguru Sai always teaches me to look to him and naturally He looksto me and I

say:In Matavaley Do Nayanomayn Kya Jadu Hain!Jadu Hain! Jadu Hain!Dil Poochh

Rahaa Hain Ab Muzasey——Nainone Kahaa Hain Kya Tuzasey——Jub Naina

Miley, Nainone Kahaaa—— :Ab Nain Basengey Naino Mein——Jadu Hain! Jadu Hain!

Jadu Hain!(Source Special Shri Sai Leela 1973)

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