DEVOTEES' EXPERIENCES OF SRI SAI BABA BY H.H.NARASIMHASWAMIJI - PARTS II

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mso-layout-grid-align: none">About the same year 1912, I had taken Rs.100 with

me to Shirdi in my pocket. Sai Baba asked me for dakshina '(Rs.40). I readily

gave it. A little later he asked for another 40 rupees and that too was given

with equal readiness and joy. Finally he asked me for the remaining 20 and that

also I gave him. I was happy to give him all that - though I was left without a

pie in the result. Then again Baba sent for me and asked me for dakshina. I

said I had nothing to give. Then he suggested that I should go and get money

from some others. I agreed but told Baba that if he should indicate whom I was

to go to, I would gladly go and ask him. Baba said "Go to Shama". I went to

Mr.Madhav Rao Deshpande (Shama) and told him what took place and asked him for

money. He replied

that I had not understood Baba right. "Does Baba care a rap for your rupees?" he

said. "No, what he wants is your mind and heart, your time and soul to be

devoted to him. That is his meaning". I went back to Baba and reported what

Shama had said. Then Baba smiled and said, "Go to Dixit and ask him". I went to

Mr. Dixit and told him of what Baba had bidden me to do. He then replied that

Baba's direction to me had to be understood in the circumstances as a lesson to

me that I should not feel absence of money or the begging for money or for

anything else to be a humiliation, and that I should not esteem myself to be

above begging. I went back and reported Dixit's reply to Baba. He smiled and

then asked me to go to Nana Saheb Chandorkar and ask him for a loan. I went to

Khandoba's temple where Nana Saheb Chandorkar was reading some religious books

with the learned K.Upasani Sastri. I went and told Nana Saheb all that had

occurred and Baba's order that I should approach him for money.

Nana Saheb at once showed his worldly wisdom. He said that he knew how delicate

the situation was when Baba asked for dakshina and there was nothing to be

given to him to satisfy him and that I should learn his plans and was.

"Whenever I go to Shirdi". he said. "I start with a certain sum, and leave a

half at Kopergaon, i.e., on this occasion I came with Rs.200 out of which I

have left Rs.100 at Kopergaon and come down to Shirdi with only Rs.100. It is

very painful to say 'No' when Baba asks for money. So I go on giving dakshina

out of the stock In hand to Baba and when it is exhausted, I send for the

reserve at Kopergaon. You must act like this". I went back to Baba and then

told him what Nana said. While I sat there. Baba sent for Nana and asked him

for dakshina Rs.40. He paid it and went away. Again he sent for him and asked

for Rs.40 more. That was paid and again Nana was sent for and the last amount

was paid up and at once he sent some one to Kopergoan for his

reserve fund. Then Baba at once wanted more. Nana felt humiliated at having to

say 'No' as there was no time for the Kopergaon reserve to arrive. The lesson

that then taught to him, to me, and to all was that it was presumption on the

part of any one to think that he himself was the great Providence supplying the

needs of Baba, or that any one could supply all that Baba might ask for. Thus

Baba showed me how differently the demand for dakshina was interpreted by

devotees. The real explanation of Baba's demand in this case was not what

Shama. Dixit or Nana said it was. It was evidently to teach lessons to me, Nana

etc. Baba really cared nothing for money or for presents. What he really wanted

was, love - deep, in­tense, passionate, wholehearted love. To give him that was

my aim. He knew it and read it in my heart and

responded to It - as only he could respond. It was probably in 1915 Ramanavami,

when intending to go to Shirdi, I went into the Indore cloth bazar to fix upon

a present - worthy of being presented to Baba. I found a fine lace embroidered

muslin of the Dacca type, produced at Chander. It was some 5 feet square with

embroidered body and 8 or 9 inches of lace border all round. It was very

nice and worth the 85 rupees I paid for it. It could be folded into 6" x 6" x 1"

packet. I took it with me to Shirdi and kept it inside my shirt. Devotees

usually go and present Baba with cloth in order that the same may be returned

to them with Baba's blessings; and the same is returned to them. In my case, I

had made up my mind that if Baba cared for my love (which knew no difference

between him and me) he should not return the same to me but should retain It

and wear it. When each devotee went and presented his cloth, it would be openly

bestowed and placed on Baba and then at the end, the attendants would call out,

"Whose is this" and return it. In order to avoid the return, I had taken my

tiny packet and when I bowed to Baba, I slyly shoved the packet under his

mattress (gadi). When all clothes were taken and returned, none noticed what

was beneath the gadi. Baba the got up and said "Clear off all that lies on the

gadi and dust it". When the mattress was removed, there was the

muslin packet. Baba picked it up and said "Hallo, What is this? Muslin!" and

spread it out and said "I am not going to return this. This is mine". He then

put it round his body and said to me "Don't I look nice in this?" I was

immensely happy as his loving heart had fulfilled my request for the acceptance

and retention of the present - as an index of the fact that I was not different

from him - that / and he were one. I was not different from him. I and he were

really one. Our unity was expressly granted, in another way and at another time

by Baba - about the same

year. I had gone to Shirdi and was staving as’ usual at Ayi's. In the afternoon,

when Baba was alone, he sent some one to fetch me and after dismissing the

messenger from his pres­ence, he was very kind to me, made me sit close to him,

embraced me, and said The key of my treasury is now placed in your hands. Ask

anything you want e.g., Rs.5 or Rs. 100 a month-or what you like and I will

give it to you". I felt at once that this was a temptation-and declined to ask

for anything. Sai Baba knew what was necessary, good or useful for me and it

was for him to decide

and give or withhold. It was not for me to ask. Seeing my disinclination to ask,

he held me by the chin and coaxed me into asking him for something. Then I

asked, "Is it agreed Baba that you will grant anything I ask for?Yes" was

his answer. Then Baba," I replied, "I want this. In this and in any future

birth that may befall on me you should never part from me. You should always be

with me." And he patted me joyously and said, "Yes I shall be with you, inside

you, and outside you, whatever you may be or do." I was supremely happy. I feel

that he is always with me. At times, he visibly shows his form to reassure me or

guide me. --- to be

Contd

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