If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

[Guest guest]

TRUST TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is

broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion,

suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in

separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She

answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB."

There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a

lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's

pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual trust, just

imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with

just "hello" instead of "PUB".

-------------------------------- NO POINTING

FINGERS A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a

successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The

father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticise your wife for her

shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that

because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better

husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of

losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to

find a scapegoat to point the finger at.

This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one

finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.

---- CREATING

PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS? A person visited the government matchmaker for

marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to

find a suitable one."

The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please.Oh, good looking, polite,

humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to

accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out.

Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be

silent when I want to rest."

The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need

television." There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between

a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults

! of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of > the wife.

Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual

perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off,

they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses.

The nightmare begins.

---- NO

OVERPOWERING Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower

another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will

conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.

Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the

meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's

character."

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse

character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

I! t would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..

---- RIGHT

SPEECH There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will

either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong

speech. When a couple is too close with each other, > we always forget mutual

respect and courtesy. We may say anything without

considering if it would hurt the other party. > A friend and her millionaire

husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her

and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary

school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you

married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She

answered, "You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be

the milli! onaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship.

---- PERSONAL

PERCEPTION Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be

another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way

home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"

Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked

besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head

of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?"

Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the

donkey. Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can

the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He! is no

gentleman."

The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they

met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of

two persons. They are cruel to you."

Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and

carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left.

Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost

their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you,

nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never

will be in the future. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our

conscience is clear..

_______________

black; FONT-FAMILY: Helv"> BE PATIENT This is a true story which happened in

the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his

puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny

paint of the truck.

The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into

pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the

hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he

finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands.

When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently

said, " Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my

fingers going to grow back?"

The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this story the next time

someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u

lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be > repaired.. Brok! en

bones & hurt feelings often can't.

Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and the

performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge. People make

mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a

rage will haunt us forever.

Pause and ponder. Think before you act. Be patient. Forgive & forget. Love one

and all. If you judge people, you have no time to love them. "Gurur Brahma

Gurur VishnuGurur Devoh Maheshwar;Gurur Shakshat ParambramhaTashmai Shri Gurur

Veh Namah"May the Merciful Sri Sai Baba always shower His grace on us and our

families and remove our problems and anxieties by giving us all - strength ,

goodluck, success and happiness with peace of mind.Sai bhakt,Deepa

Hdebu7366

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