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Do not look for faults in others, but look for faults in yourself..

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qualities that we become oblivious to our faults. In reality our mind is full of

gross delusions but we ignore them and may even fool ourself into thinking that

we do not have such repulsive minds. This is like pretending that there is no

dirt in our house after sweeping it under the carpet.

It is often so painful to admit that we have faults that we make all manner of

excuses rather than alter our exalted view of ourself. One of the most common

ways of not facing up to our faults is to blame others. For instance, if we

have a difficult relationship with someone we naturally conclude that it is

entirely their fault - we are unable to accept that it is at least partly ours.

Instead of taking responsibility for our actions and making an effort to change

our behaviour, we argue with them and insist that it is they who must change.

An exaggerated sense of our own importance thus leads to a critical attitude

towards other people and makes it almost impossible to avoid conflict. The fact

that we are oblivious to our faults does not prevent other people from noticing

them and pointing them out, but when they do we feel that they are being

unfair. Instead of looking honestly at our own behaviour to see whether or not

the criticism is justified, our self-cherishing mind

becomes defensive and retaliates by finding faults with them.

Another reason why we do not regard others as precious is that we pay attention

to their faults whilst ignoring their good qualities. Unfortunately we have

become very skilled in recognizing the faults of others, and we devote a great

deal of mental energy to listing them, analyzing them, and even meditating on

them! With this critical attitude, if we disagree with our partner or

colleagues about something, instead of trying to understand their point of view

we repeatedly think of many reasons why we are right and they are wrong. By

focusing exclusively on their faults and limitations we become angry and

resentful, and rather than cherishing them we develop the wish to harm or

discredit them. In this way small disagreements can easily turn into conflicts

that simmer for months.

In Advice from Atisha's Heart it says:

Do not look for faults in others, but look for faults in yourself, and purge

them like bad blood.Do not contemplate your own good qualities, but contemplate

the good qualities of others, and respect everyone as a servant would.

May the Merciful Sri Sai Baba always shower His grace on us and our families and

remove our problems and anxieties by giving us all - strength , goodluck,

success and happiness with peace of mind.Sai bhakt,Deepa Hdebu7366

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