SHOULD WE TALK ILL OF OTHERS?

[Guest guest]

SHOULD WE TALK ILL OF OTHERS?

Backbiting is no different from other contagious diseases and none is immune

from it – be it men, women or children. Quite a number of men and women

get the real kick out.

Taking time off from the mid-day chores, housewives often join together to

exchange remarks on somebody who is not there. On being questioned why they

resort to talking ill of others, a majority would confess that it releases a

bit of their pent-up selves. A few, however feel that this argument is flimsy,

it is just a smoke screen to cover up a wrong. That is why no words ought to be

minced to condemn backbiting

Let us take a hard look at the problem. Why do we criticize others generally

without much ground and always in their absence? By doing so don’t we

prove ourselves to be cowards? It benefits more but hurts quite a few.

Once someone talked ill of a person in his absence to the late Shri Madam Mohan

Malviyaji. Malviyaji grinned and said, "Listen man, what do you gain by casting

aspirations on a person who is not here? I can assure, you won’t be able

to win the ‘last laugh’ in this ugly game."

Backbiting has many other causes also, seeing you excel a person in examination

or securing a higher status could also be grounds, for backbiting whenever it

is felt that Mr. A’s selfish motives are at stake, easy resort is made to

backbiting and spreading wild stories before others.

Then there is a chain reaction that leaves many a family ruined, domestic and

social tranquility is jeopardized. Domestic servant and small children fall

easy prey to the games who get to know the truth despite your best efforts to

conceal.

Backbiting gives to pride. It happens only when we blind ourselves to our own

blunders, and are eager to criticise others on mere pretexts and quite often on

pretensions. It would be of great social advantage if we looked at ourselves and

if possible always at ourselves.

Nobody realizes how much do we harm others. If we must talk about others let us praise them.

Acharya Vinoba Bhave has rightly counselled to redirect all complaints of

backbiting to the deal letter office. After all, backbiting means biting from

behind any way should a self-respecting fellow take recourse to this

none-to-chivalrous act! Mahatama Gandhi’s theory to ‘hate the sin

and not the sinner’ is a relevant quotable in this regard. Let us,

therefore, pledge ourselves in doing our best to make life richer with the

co-operation and goodwill of all.

(Courtesy: R.L. Pathak in Modern Practical Psychology, April 2003 issue)