Sri M.B. Rege's Rare Letter on Radhakrishna Ayee (2)

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SHRI M.B. REGE'S RARE LETTER ON RADHAKRISHNA AYEE (2)

 

Sri Gurudev

 

28, South Tukoganj,

Indore,

 

3rd September 1968

 

Dear Brother Sridhar,

 

Your letter of the 30th ult. reached me yesterday afternoon. I have

wired you this morning, as this letter will not reach you on 4th

inst., as desired by you.

 

Now regarding my Divine mother Radhakrishna Ayee. I shall relate some

incidents which will show her worth and what the master thought of

her.

 

You are aware that I went to Shirdi for the first time in December

1910 consequent on a vision in which I saw my Kula Devi Shanta Durga

of Kareta (Goa) with Shri Maha Vishnu and my Master, and Shri Maha

Vishnu said that the three were in fact one, and that Shri Sai Baba

would be my saviour. You may find some more details in Sri Narasimha

Swamiji's "Life of Sai Baba, Vol.III" (Ankita Devotees).

 

In my first visit, the master asked me to go to mother Radhakrishna

whom He described as His mother and mine. My association with her and

I owe my spiritual life to her – left no doubt in my mind that she

was the Yoga Maya like the Yogini, who gave Sri Ramakrishna

Paramahamsa his training in `Tantra' Mother Ramakrishna, whom the

master always referred to as Ramakrishni, was to me an ideal of the

Madhura Bhakti of the Gopis. All her belongings in the world were a

durrie (cotton mat) a blanket, a pair of dhotis, Eknath Maharaja's

Bhagwat, abhangas of Sri Thukaram and a lota. She had an idol of Lord

Krishna – she called it `Chahabi' and occasional singing of Bhajans

in which she would get unconscious in a deep trance.

 

The devotee I met at Shirdi had views of their own regarding Bhakti

and each one or a group thought that His or its own way was the right

one; and very often there was intolerance of other views. Mother

Radhakrishna's view was that the master should, like the idols at

Thirupati, Mathura or Dwaraka and Pandarpur, have good clothes,

ornaments, Palki Rath, etc. Other devotees of note like Sri Dasganu

Maharaj, Sri Dabolkar thought that Baba was a Fakir and ostentation

was against His creed. Indeed when once velvet chhava (overcoat) was

being put on Baba, one of such devotees, when Baba in his own way

refused to have it put on, said `Fix some nails to fix it'. The last

scandal completely alienated such persons and since the sketches of

Baba were mostly written by them, a reference to the mother in them,

cannot be expected.

 

Sri Dasganu was a great devotee; and we find in his `Kirtanas',

references to the love of Gopies; but he probably thought that what

was proper for Lord Sri Krishna was not so for a fakir. Being

confined to the residence and company of the mother, I was a persona

non-grata and was far from Dasganu Maharaj until after the Master's

Mahasamadhi. He then came to Indore and stayed with me. Then with

tears in his eyes he said,'Baba saheb, you were very fortunate in

living with a devotee of the highest order in Madhura Bhakti. I do

kirtans of Mirabai, Janabai, Kanhopatra, and gopis, and tears flow

from my eyes but I could not appreciate the Madhura Bhakti of

Radhakrishna Ayee in real life', and referring to mother's sad end,

he said there were instance in the Puranas of birth without sexual

relations.

 

In 1911, I thought of practicing Yoga. I invoked my Master and wanted

no other Guru. Relying on the story of Ekalavya who got Shastra and

Astra Vidya from a mud image of Dronacharya, I began Asana and

Pranayama, sitting before the picture of my Master. I could control

my breath and stop five or six beats of my heart in about a year's

time. Once in 1912, talking of Yoga and control and functions of the

body, the mother told me that she had succeeded by Rajayoga in

stopping her monthly periods!

 

Mother Radhakrishna was of ordinary build, about 5 feet high, but had

an iron will and the strength of a giant. She used to fetch water

from a well about a furlong away in large pots, which she picked

alone with her hands, when a strong man would need the help of

another for the purpose. She once gave me a blow on my chest and

said, "You are a `samsari'. Is this hollow", she then asserted that

she was much stronger than me. I replied that I was only a child. She

then suggested a trial of strength, and insisted on it in spite of

me. The road leading to Rahata used to be deserted in the afternoon

and she said we should run with the other on the back. I told her to

get on my back and I would run first. I ran about two furlongs and

the mother said she was satisfied and I may stop. She then made me

get on her back and ran much more than two furlongs, and asked

whether she was not stronger, and when I said it was doubtless so,

she asked me to get off her back. I said I was happy on the back of

my mother and would not leave it. She threatened to throw me off and

I replied that the world would stare if a fond mother did so.

Eventually I got a promise from her that she would carry me on Her

back on the spiritual path. It appears to me that this was pre-

ordained by the Master, as, when we return to mother's residence, I

was called by Baba and asked what we were doing. When I told him

about our race and mother's promise, the Master said `She will take

you on her back and so will I'. But then he directed me to give up

the practice of Yoga. `Do Bhakti', He said, `nothing is more

necessary. Only let your Heart, Head, and hand be in tune'. (He

pointed to the head, heart, and hand, said, `let these be one')

 

Mother Radhakrishna hated publicity. A gentleman from Mumbai took

some snap shots of her without her knowledge; but some one spoke of

it as the gentleman was leaving Shirdi in a tonga. She ran after the

tonga for about a mile, wrested the camera and smashed it. Tatya Koti

Patil, an intimate devotee of Baba, told me of this in her presence.

 

In December 1914, the late Sri P.R. Avasthi went with me to Shirdi.

He had taken `Guru Mantra' from a woman saint in his young days and

did not know whether she was living or dead. Sri H.S. Dixit was his

friend and wanted him to go for darshan of Baba; but Sri Avasthi

thought that it would be `Guru droha' (faithlessness towards his

Guru). When he came to know of my association with the Master, he

spoke of his state of mind. He was then the District Judge, Indore,

and I was Civil Judge under him. I told him that Baba was a Superb

Guru – one with God – and he agreed to accompany me provided I took

on the responsibility. We went and Baba asked me who was this

`Pissat' (crazy man) with me. Sri Avasthi was excited. Next day the

mother tied four mogra flowers together and handing them to me said,

`Take this to the Master and ask Him to unravel it.' Baba smelt the

flowers and returned them with a message for mother Radhakrishna that

she should do it. In the mean while Sri Avasthi had a brain wave. He

made a small ball (pindam) of rice out of the Naivedya offering

unknown to us and decided that if Baba accepted the Pindam, he would

conclude that his Guru was no more and taking Baba as Guru would not

be Guru droha. I was with him when he went to the Masjid with

Naivedyam and the Pinda in his hand under the plate. Baba said `Give

it to me'. He took the pindam, smelt it and said `It has reached its

place'. We returned to mother's house and from the door, Sri Avasthi

rushed to her and fell at her feet singing spontaneous verses for

about half an hour unconscious of things around him. The mother was

also in a trance. Later Sri Avasthi told me that in place of mother

Radhakrishna he had seen his first Guru.

 

In 1914, I was doubtful about my ability to attend the Guru Poornima.

The food was used to be cooked in mother's house, but she said that

if I was not there, it had better be cooked elsewhere. On the Guru

Poornma day, she got an extra quota from Baba's `Bhiksha'. She then

announced that I was coming and the cooking started. I reached at

about 9 a.m. They wanted a stone to pound the spices (masala). The

step leading to the house was considered good and mother and I moved

it with some difficulty. Just as it was in the door frame, a devotee

Sri Purandare came up and wanted to help. The stone turned and it

might have crushed my hand but the mother pulled it towards herself

and the index finger of her right hand was crushed into two. You can

imagine her agony; but as if nothing had happened, she soaked a rag

in oil and wrapping the bleeding finger, went on to help in cooking.

Only after all was over, she called me and said she was feeling the

pain and would like to go to the jungle and cry. We went and for half

an hour she did cry. Then we came back for our normal work. What

control over the body and indifference to pleasure and pain in the

service of the Master!

 

I know nothing about her condition which resulted in her death. In

fact myself and my wife – now no more – were with her for some days,

two months prior to her end and did not notice signs of her

pregnancy. May be because we looked up to her and not to her

condition. Perhaps because I did not meet villagers or outsiders – I

heard no scandal too. The first intimation I heard was in a letter I

got from Narvekar intimating that mother had passed away in childbed.

 

In my last letter I recollect having mentioned the incident of Baba

coming from the Lendi when, after washing the floor of the Masjid,

the mother was in a trance, and Baba stroked her on her back and

asked her not to worry.

 

Two months after mother passed away, I went to Shirdi and not knowing

where I should stay, went straight to the Masjid. Baba told me to go

to Dixit Wada. Sri Madhavrao Deshpande and many others came and

offered a sort of condolence. `This should not have happened in

Shirdi', they said. I replied that I did not desire to discuss the

matter. She was my mother and I said, even if she be in the wrong, I

would remain quiet comforted by Lord Sri Krishna's view in the

Bhagavad Gita –

 

Api chet Suduracharo Bhajate mam Anany Bhak

Sadhu reva sa mantavyah samyag Vyavassito hi Sah. (Chapter 9-30).

 

(This means, "Even the most wicked, if he concentrates on or worship

Me the Lord, then he must be deemed a sadhu or a good person".)

 

While this talk was going on, a message came from the Masjid asking

all sitting with me in the wada to come over. We went and Baba asked

Sri Deshpande what they were talking about. Baba further asked what I

had said, and when the information was given, the merciful Master

said, `What do these fools know? She was your mother and mine. She

wanted to be freed from her karma and you know I gave her my

assurance. One night she came saying she would not wait and, lifting

up my kupni, got in here (pointing to His Heart). You will see her

here when you desire'. My Divine mother is now merged in the Master.

Let people in their own way imagine what they will. I cannot forget

what I owe to Her.

 

I have tried to give you my first hand impressions of her. Of the

devotees, Sri Mahlsapathi, Sri H.S. Dixit had great reverence for

her, and I feel I am in good company. I trust you will have a fair

idea of the greatness of my mother. I leave it to you to take out of

my statement the parts you consider useful for your Ananda Vikatan.

 

I have written the above in installments. The cramps in my fingers

make it difficult to clearly decipher the writing, but I would rather

send this than a typed copy.

 

With kindest regards and best wishes,

 

I am,

Ever yours,

At the feet

of the Master,

M.B.

Rege.

 

 

(Courtesy: Sai Sudha, Golden Jubilee Issue – June 1990, All India Sai

Samaj (Regd), Chennai-600004, India)