How I Became a Sai Devotee

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HOW I BECAME A SAI DEVOTEE

—Shri B. R. Kakade,

Dahisar (West)

How I beanie a Sai Devotee will mean explaining one's own experiences in

one's own point of view. However, the result of such writing will lead the

readers to the path of Sai devotion. I have full faith in Sai.

I was not believing in 'God' in my childhood, but my father never got angry

with me nor used any wild words for my peculiar thinking about God. However,

he used his intellect to change my mind towards the belief in God; and that

too through his good colleagues who made a fine friendship with me by

requesting me by honouring me to read some religious books for them as they

were old and could not pay attention to reading. This made me change my

views about God in "Sagun" and "Nirgun" aspects i.e. the formed and formless

aspects. The marble idols of god in whom people believe which were mere

STONES for me in the beginning of my life—now became practical observances

in my daily life and the source of inspiration.

In my school days in 1927, when I was only 16 years of age, I was trapped in

the big flood of Gujarat. I was at Baroda with my father at that time. Heavy

flood waters divided the city into two parts and both of us were in one part

and my younger brother and grandmother were in the other. We tried to cross

the river bridge of high level water but the police objected to this.

However, we tried to enter the water on the bridge travelling upto my neck,

We failed to return and thus were trapped by waters of the flood. At this

critical time of life and death, one tall man of about 7 feet in height,

having beard and Roomal on head shouted loudly directing us both to stand at

the same place and be came through water, got both of us in his own hands

and took us to the other side of the roaring river where my brother and

grandmother were anxiously waiting for us. I inquired about the person who

saved us and it is a wonder to note that he was not there. I tried to find

him out but in vain. This was the first devotional darshan of Shri Sai in my

life in 1927.

"How I became a Sai Devotee" will require me to explain some more facts as I

am happy in these days of my life at the age of 63 years and that Shri Sai

is always with us as I feel how my spiritual life is holy and perfect in the

end of my life. For this I was required to follow Shri Sai Baba through my

impulse and the quickening impulse which came from outside cannot be

received from books The 'soul' can only receive impulse from another soul

and from nothing else. In my views, I can say that we can read books all our

lives, we can become very intellectual and in the end we find that we have

not developed at all spiritually. This type of study will not be equivalent

in development of the spiritual side of a man. On the other hand, we find

cases almost every day when the intellect has become very highly developed

at the expense of the spirit. In intellectual development, we can get much

help from books, but in spiritual development almost nothing.

In studying books, sometimes we feel that we are developed in "thinking" and

that we are spiritually helped but if we analyse ourselves, we will find

that only our intellect has been helped and not the spirit. This is the

reason why almost everyone of us can speak most wonderfully on spiritual

subjects but when SAI came, we found ourselves so woefully deficient. This

is because books cannot give us that "impulse" from outside. This should

come from another soul from which this impulse comes is called the "Guru

"The Teacher"—and the soul to which this impulse is conveyed is called the

"Shishya", "The student". In order to convey this power of transmission of

messages from the Guru to the Shishya and vice versa, will require to plough

the field of living seed and when both these conditions are fulfilled, a

wonderful growth of religion takes place. And this happened practically in

my life in 1943 when my eldest daughter was ill by double typhoid fever for

42 days (Relapsed case). A committee of 3 doctors declared her case as

"Fatal" one on the 41st day of her illness and asked me to leave this case

to God. The same day, it happened so, that one old man (with beard) from

Madras had come to us through one of my friends in Baroda and when that

bearded old man saw my daughter, he told me not to fear. I was surprised in

listening to him when I was actually facing a critical moment in life, but

the old man had convinced me in such a way that I became fearless when I

came to know that the man was not present at night when my daughter got a

dream of Sai Baba. I had inquired with my friend about the old man but in

vain. His advice was nothing but the Devotional Darshan for the second time

in my life. When I was only 32 years old, this happened.

This all happened in my life which gave me the direction to follow the

devotional side of Shri Sai Baba to understand that we must first try to get

the 'idea' that is conveyed through "Inherent Tendency" i.e. Sanskara.

Here I can see a fine example of a lake for the mind. It can be said that

every ripple or wave that rises on the surface of the lake; does not die out

entirely when it subsides, but leaves a "mark" behind or a future

possibility of the rising of similar waves on it Whatever may be its nature,

this mark of the possibility of the wave re-appearing is what is called

"Sanskar" or "Inherent Tendency' Every work that we do even to every moment

of the time and every movement of the body, every thought that we think,

leaves such an "Impression" on the mind stuff and even when such impressions

not obvious on the surface, they are sufficiently strong to work beneath the

surface subconsciously. What we are every moment is determined by the sum

total of such previous impressions on the mind.

What I am just at this moment when I am writing on this subject is the

effect of the sum total of all the impressions that have been left in my

mind by each and all the works that I have done in my pastlife and that is

why I experience Sadguru Sai in my practical life without having a blind

faith. Sadguru Sai always teaches me to look to him and naturally He looks

to me and I say:

In Matavaley Do Nayanomayn Kya Jadu Hain!

Jadu Hain! Jadu Hain!

Dil Poochh Rahaa Hain Ab Muzasey——

Nainone Kahaa Hain Kya Tuzasey——

Jub Naina Miley, Nainone Kahaaa—— :

Ab Nain Basengey Naino Mein——

Jadu Hain! Jadu Hain! Jadu Hain!

 

(Source Special Shri Sai Leela 1973)