Hi friends!

[Guest guest]

Sairam sisters and brothers in Sai,

 

I am very happy that the story viji has brought joy to you.

 

Actually, sometime back, I read a story of a flute maker, who lived in the same

village as Lord Krishna. He strives all his life to make a flute that Krishna

would love to play. At the end, he becomes frustrated and turns hopeless that

he could not succeed. At that moment, all the thousands of flutes that he made

thought out his life, those flutes which he thought were not perfect --- start

playing by themselves. In that Divine music, he looses himself, and thereby

realizes that every flute he made was perfect!

 

That story taught me a great truth that every step we take towards Swami, every

single act that we do, however small, is as great as the final step. No act is

mean when offered whole-heartedly at His Feet.

 

Would love to share some of the thoughts going on in my mind with you people,

because you are friends of my soul. Every time I write to the group, I get

great returns in the form of the beautiful insights of the members.

 

This utter simplicity of truth and love, the beauty of spirituality, I feel so

much in the Sai family. The innocence and purity of feeling and actual

experience of Love inspite of mere words - as sister Mangala has put.

 

Brother ragunath, Am happy hearin that it was more of an actual experience. As

we all know, so many experienes of Sai devotees are like this and much much

more than this. Swami is full of surprises. Sai love is a box of chocolates -

you never know what you gonna get next

 

Sister arundhathi, am very happy that you could experience Swamis love thru this

story. I also desire for such unsullied bliss.

 

I also got an extra gift from sister mary - she sent me a snap of her Altar.

)) Its beautiful! Please share it with all of us.

 

Friends of my soul, just sharing with you my introspections.....Swami is

teaching me from past two days. Whom else can I share these with? Who else can

empathize with my feelings?

 

Every time, I face a tough test, inspite of the grief the failure it brings

....there is a reason for me to be happy. That is this thought ---- " If I am

facing this test, it means Swami thinks I am qualified enough to take such a

big test! "

 

Oh, the thought gives me joy and soothes a bit from the grief the failure causes....lol....

 

Day by day experiences make me feel the importance of Saadhana.

 

Its something like this, I feel ------

 

If a normal person does not get up at 3 AM in the morning and practise singing,

it is not a big deal. If he falters in Sruthi while singing now and then, it is

not a big sin!

 

But if a concert musician goes off key even once, it is a big fault! Regular

practise of singing is not a commendable job of him, but something he is

obliged to do --- its his duty, he is expected to do.

 

Similarly, if people who have worldly aims do not think of God and do not

consciously try to get rid of body consciousness, it is not a great fault in

them. But for the Sai devotees, who believe Swami as the very incarnation of

God and who believe in Swamis words that the only aim of man is to merge back

in God by leading the life of a lotus leaf ´- acting fully but not being

attached....I believe regular Saaadhana is a duty.

 

As Swami said to us that we need to wrap up this drama as soon as possible!

 

I am now living away from my country and people....the surroundings force me to

do Namasmarana!! Lol...I am not able to imagine the magnificience of Swamis

Love in making me do so! He creates situations so that I call upon Him! And how

many times, I shamelessly fail, He is patient. Like a rock, He does not move

away from me. However strong I try to drag back my hand in indescribable folly

and ignorance, He holds it strongly. He seems to have tied Himself to me. His

confidence in me surprises me.

 

That final aim to loosen my pathetic grip over the world seems to be so easy at

times and so tough at times. Umpteen times, I realize everything is within me.

I clearly see the only factor that is delaying my victory is myself! But

still.....I fail. Never mind, I shall keep fighting. Let me see how long this

drama will continue.

 

Time is running by, and the Sai bliss is playing hide and seek with me. Swami is

stubborn - He keeps saying, "I cant give away my Love just like that --- you

have to fight and win." (He told me this in a dream one year back.....ya, one

year went off.).

 

Umpteen experiences have passed by, leaving me no doubt about Swamis Omniscience

and Omnipresence and Omnipotence. Oh, the sharp and piercing pain of my heart

--- when I fail to follow His words proves my faith in His Omniscience to

myself...lol...

 

Few days back I was listening to an Annamacharya Kriti, it goes like...

 

"My Lord, You are the best of all...I am the worst of all...please save me..."

 

I just could not control my wonderement --- how could Annamayya who belonged to

11th century write so exactly a song that suits me the best! ....exactly my

feelings....lol.....The feeling in my heart when I heard it can probably be be

compared to the astonishment that a movie character in dual role experiences

when he meets his counterpart by chance. (But not exactly ofcourse...cuz it was

modesty on Annamayyas part to sing like that, while it is reality in my

case....lol.....)

 

Anyway I love this game. So simple, yet so tough. The only rule to be followed

in this game is to listen to your conscience and follow it and I fail to do it!

 

Will do it. Swami, this is the gift I hope to give You this birthday. I shall

listen to my conscience and follow it. And ya, I remember how tirelessly You

ask us to do Namsmarana....in every every every Discourse of yours....Sure, I

shall be regular in it....Who is going to be benefitted by this? Obviously me.

But, You will feel happy if I improve right?