Banishing Bad Thoughts!

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Banishing Bad Thoughts!

 

Life would be much easier if we had perfect control over our thinking....

especially where emotions are concerned. We could quickly forget about the

people who make us frustrated or angry and allow disappointments to fade into

the past without recriminations.

 

But in reality, this kind of emotional equanimity is rare. Most of us spend a

lot of time thinking over unpleasant feelings and mulling over regrets and

resentments.

 

Unfortunately, many of these mental interpretations of our feelings make us feel

worse about the situation. What started out as a small hurt or frustration,

amplified by a thought process that focuses on pain and anger, may balloon into

a major preoccupation.

 

Our minds often repeat painful thoughts or scenarios over and over, even when

we'd much rather let them go. If we start paying attention to our interior

monologue, we may find that we are dwelling on maybe the ways our parents let

us down, angry at someone who has hurt us, afraid of the challenges we may face

in the future, or ashamed that we haven't yet done the things we had planned to

in life.

 

We would rather stop all of these thoughts in their tracks.....but that's much

easier said than done. Instead, we're left feeling as if there's something

wrong with us......i.e. Why can't I just get over it? Why can't I just relax

and be happy?

 

Generally, when we try to squelch one of these distressing trains of

thought...or ‘just get over it’......our strenuous efforts to suppress it

only make things worse.

 

Research has shown that if we actively try to prevent anxiety-provoking or

frightening thoughts, they generally become more powerful and harder to ignore.

As a result, mental ‘fix-it’ strategies generally backfire, whether that's

trying to deny your unhappiness, avoiding the situations or people who make you

anxious, or drinking to numb the feelings.

 

Accepting the negative feelings and learning to distance yourself from the

thoughts that amplify them can be a much more effective coping strategy says

psychologist Stephen Hayes of the University of Nevada in Reno.

 

A few of Proffessor Hayes' suggestions:

 

 

· Practice noticing your thoughts. Try to be conscious of where your

mind leads you, and label the type of thought you're having to yourself. For

example, if you've made a mistake at work and are feeling bad about it, think

to yourself: ‘I've noticed that I'm focused on my error right now.’ If

you're feeling stupid about the mistake, say to yourself: ‘Right now, I'm

criticising myself.’

 

 

· If you find that one particular thought or phrase is running through

your head... ‘I am such a loser’ or ‘He always takes advantage,’ for

example... try saying your troubling thought out loud, and either very slowly

or in a funny voice. It seems silly, but by doing this, you're actively

separating yourself from your mental soundtrack. You remind yourself these

thoughts are being generated out of a mental habit.

 

· Try thinking of your mind as just another organ of your body. If you

find yourself preoccupied by fears, imagine your brain is just like your hungry

stomach when it rumbles or your feet when they're tired after a long day. Think:

‘There goes my mind again, worrying about something trivial.’

 

· Think of your self-destructive or self-critical thoughts as internet

pop-up ads. Don't criticise them or yourself for having them. Just think of

them as unnecessary, meaningless noise.

 

All of these tactics are ways to become aware of your inner mental monologue

without either getting caught up in it or trying to shut it down. Distancing

yourself from your difficult thoughts can help you learn to stop turning small

problems into dilemmas that seem all-consuming or hopeless.

 

Remain Blessed!

Duty is God, Work is Worship