The role of women in the home

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The Role of Women in the Home The harmony of our home is in our hands

by Ganga Pidatala ,Hyderabad, India

 

This story was narrated by our beloved Bhagawan to a group of devotees at an

interview.

 

"Long ago there lived a saint called Tulsidas in the Maratha region. One

day, he was sitting at home working on some verses that he was composing.

(It was a bright day?) . Suddenly, he called out to his wife and asked her

to bring him a lantern. His wife calmly nodded her head and went into the

house, where she lit up a lantern and brought it to her husband, who then

asked her to place it on the desk. Tulsidas then looked at her for a moment

and said,"Take it back! I don't need it now." His wife once again nodded her

head and dutifully took the lantern back into the house."

 

Swami, without completing the story suddenly looked up at a couple of us and

asked, "If your husbands had asked you to do the same, how would you have

responded?" Without waiting for our reply, Swami then changed the tone of

his voice, and imitated that we would have resorted to jumping, frowning,

sneering and attacking our husbands saying, "Are you blind? It is broad

daylight, why do you need a lantern? You must have gone mad! Crazy fellow,

Go get it yourself, if you want one."

 

Swami continued imitating our response with " Can't you see, I have been

busy since morning taking care of your home, your kids and cooking food for

you!" Isn't it so? Swami asked us. We smiled meekly. You know us too well

Baba, we thought.

 

Then, Swami went on to elaborate that education today calls for equality among

all human beings. It is true that men and women are equal but each one has an

important role to play in their own lives.

 

Understanding this is the foundation needed for a happy life to be led between a husband and wife.

 

Each one feels "Why should I do this? Why can't he do it?" or vice versa.

 

This is the thought that goes through our minds immediately when we are

tired of doing something. From this thought erupts confrontation which leads

to heated arguments, finally resulting in a rupture of family togetherness.

 

Swami said that the reason we are seeing so many divorces, and disharmony

among families, husbands and wives today, is because of mis-understandings.

 

If one is able to adjust and understand one another on all counts, then

there would not be any need for family courts at all!

 

On another occasion, Swami advised me on my marriage to my husband, Gopi. He

said that as a follower of Sai, I should bring a good name to the home I was

born in and also to my new home: that is the home of my in-laws where I

shall be living for the rest of my life.

 

Swami said that most daughters feel that when they go to their in-laws place

they lose their status as daughters when they were living at home. On this

aspect, he remarked that when you are entering your new home as a

daughter-in-law, it is according to the law that you are entering your new home

as a daughter. Behave like a daughter in your new home. Your love will

definitely triumph and give you the status of the daughter that you feel that

you might have lost!

 

At this point, I would also like to share a few thoughts that Swami had

given to my husband soon after our marriage that could be of some interest

to the readers.

 

Swami told my husband Gopi, that trouble in a family erupts only when there is

an involvement of the husband and the wife, with tempers riding high on both

sides.

 

Swami continued to demonstrate this point by telling us to imagine that each

of our hands symbolized the husband and wife. At this point Swami clapped

His hands."CLAP" came the sound. Then, He set aside his left hand and tried

to clap. There was no sound but a wave of cool breeze.

 

So, when both hands meet there is a loud noise indicating trouble. However,

when only one hand is swinging, there was a cool breeze and no sound.

 

Similarly, in our lives, when there is a difference of opinion between a wife

and husband, if one is patient when the other is in a bad mood, there is no

chance of fights breaking out at all.

 

So, be cool and understanding.

 

Don't add fuel by showing your temper where there is fire already operating.

 

If you don't do this, your home will burn! Swami advised that instead of

flaring up, we should keep quiet for sometime and let the reigning temper

mellow down.

 

This will definitely help in controlling the situation. He further advised us

that happiness and peace in a family will rule only when the lady of the home

is happy and it is the duty of all the other members of the home, be it the

husband or the children to bring in this atmosphere by reducing the amount of

tension, and stress to the lady of the home.

 

I personally feel that a home of happiness, bliss, harmony and peace lies in

the hands of the lady of the home.

 

Whatever problems arise in my life, I deal with them by having the firm faith in

my Lord Sai and it is this 100 % faith that He is always there for me and my

home, that helps me in my life!

 

Cultivate this yourselves and happiness will be yours.

 

SYAN 2002