A young woman's journey in surrender

[Guest guest]

I am Woman

 

A young woman's journey in surrender by Yamini Sharma ,Seattle, Washington

Let's be "real" for a moment. Nowadays as a woman, I am being taught and

shaped by all aspects of society, whether it be marketing, advertising,

magazines, television, movies, and the people I encounter.

 

These influences force me to be independent and ambitious, and to suppress the

slightest bit of emotion.

 

Ultimately, according to society, being a woman today is to live in a state of

confidence in my pursuit of so called "happiness".

 

This is frightening! Not only does it completely oppose and challenge Swami's

teachings, it also sets me up for long-term failure. Several years ago, I was

ready to conquer the world by being at the forefront of the medical field.

 

I was not about to be "belittled" into being a simple housewife. I believed in

the modern phrase, "I am woman, hear me roar." Like most females in society who

are told not to be timid, shy or quiet, as this will reveal a weakness, I was

bombarded with such notions throughout my adolescent years.

 

Then came the bombshell from Swami Himself - on the very day of my engagement,

as my family sat in the famed interview room, "No more studies (to be a

doctor); he is your responsibility," uttered the Lord of the universe pointing

to my future husband! I thought I misheard.

 

My parents also thought they misheard. What to do? Well, the obvious was to ask Swami.

 

So, the very next day when the opportunity arose during that actual ceremony

I asked, "Swami, what about my studies in medicine?" The reply was swift and

confident, "There is no question of studies now; Your duty is towards him."

 

Swami explained to me, my husband and our families the qualities of a woman.

 

First, He said "Grihalakshmi" a woman is the Lakshmi of the house, the

pillar without which the family has no foundation to progress or operate.

 

Next, "Ardhangi" which is the better part of the husband that creates balance

and harmony in the home. "Dharampatni" is the righteous wife who confers the

sense of morality, ethics and right conduct to the family, especially children.

Finally, "Illalu" is the mistress of the home, the Shakti that gives power to

all who reside in the home.

 

It took me many years to digest, contemplate and realize the life saving

statements Swami directed me to follow. Under no circumstances does Swami

disagree with women being educated. Some may recall when Swami initiated the

educational institutions He constructed the girls college in Anatapur first.

 

He says, "It is not my view that women should not get educated. They should have

education. You may also take up jobs. But you should live up to the

obligations and glory of womanhood."

(S.S. Dec 1966, p.333)

 

As a married woman, the greatest lessons have come in learning about myself

- as an extension of God. It is also learning to be one half of my husband

and knowing how to balance my wants with those of another. What lessons can

I share in a few words? As Swami says, "First Be, then Do, then Tell."

 

I have learned that who I am is defined by Love, not by secular society's

definition of a woman. I have learned the inherent value that even separates

me from my husband, which is unconditional Love.

 

Swami often reminds us that when a child is ill, the father will take the

temperature and console the offspring. But it is the mother who will stay up

all night and share the

pain of that child. Love is the natural aspect of a woman.

 

Today, I have been blessed with two children, a husband with many tasks and

a very busy household. Indeed, I AM woman, hear me roar in the spiritual

sense as I am a female who is grounded in herself, her role and her duties.

 

It is a tough balance-with less income but greater mothering. My reward with

my children is seeing them grow up to be pillars of society whose foundation

consists of Sai ideals rather than confusing television values.

 

Yes, all this requires practice but the best is yet to come when we as woman

aspire to be who we truly are - reflections of Swami! I am woman, I thank

you Sai!

 

SYAN 2002

[Guest guest]

Aum Sai Ram

 

Dear Sai Sisters (and Brothers, too)

 

Thank you for bringing this topic up, and I pray you would like to discuss this

difficult teaching of Swami's on the position of women as mothers and wives.

 

It has been sometimes hard for me to accept Swami's teachings on women though I

have made progress in this regard. I understand that righteousness, morality

and service to the family are as hard as studying medicine and just as

praiseworthy, or even more so. Surrendering to God is the hardest thing

anybody could ever do, and doing so through righteousness and seva to the

family is as worthy as any other spiritual path. I also understand that if

society valued mothers at least as much as we value professionals we probably

would not have to discuss this topic.

 

But Swami has also said women should accept what our husbands say and if we

don't agree we should pray, pray, pray. While this is easy to comprehend in

hypothetical or perfect situations, when I think of the thousands of girls and

women all over the world who are fed less, educated less and given less

hospital care, etc than the boys and men of their communities just because they

are females (not to mention that they suffer more from physical and emotional

violence, etc), it is very hard for me to accept and understand. For these

women not to stand up for their rights (and the rights of their daughters and

mothers, etc) would probably make things worse? Or is it perhaps that I don't

understand the real force of faith and prayer? Or perhaps it is a teaching that

Swami intends for the future, when the worse of the Kali Yuga is over?

 

Dear Sai family, thank you for your answers and comments and I look forward to hearing from you.

 

With light and love,

Gueza

saibabanews

[saibabanews] On Behalf Of sherry jagdeoThursday,

5 May 2005 7:45 AMsaibabanewsSubject: [saibabanews] A young

woman's journey in surrender

[Guest guest]

Sai Ram

 

Swami's opinions are not new for Asians as they were brought up with that kind

of thing in the mind. So its not shocking for us. But, at the same time it has

exceeded in certain males mind and thus lead to a male chauvinism. That's the

bad thing and Swami again try to remove it through his teachings. See whatever

said and done female is a female. Though now females have gone into each and

everything that man does, the man simply couldn't do one thing that woman does;

giving a birth to a child. Mothers always have had a special place. Its said

"Mathro devo bava, pithuru devo bava, guru devo bava and aththi devo bava"

Means, first equal status with God is given to "Mother", then "father",

"teacher" and "guest". In all the animal kingdom, its only the female has this

ability. Why females started to work is is because of economic situation and

they needed more money to support the family. That's alright and its accepted

by Swami as the Sai sister noted in her e-mail. But, think of something when

you make the dolls at home how much care you give. You need to get the correct

shape, size, etc. Same for everything, we need perfections in all the jobs.

They say attention to detail. All this attention we are giving for inanimate

things. But a child is a human who has born at the highest level of spiritual

path to live his life and to get the liberation. Shouldn't they be molded

correctly with all the attention?? They basically need the love and support of

the family. I am in align with Swami's opinion of mother's role.

 

If your question is about the role of Mother or Doctor ??? Answer depends on the

each woman's destiny. For example if woman can I have a child and if she goes

for it, the her priority should be in molding the child in the correct

direction. Even if that woman is a famous doctor, this comes first. If its a

lady who can't have a child (due to any reason) then her duty should be to

serve other children. Take the case of Kalpana Savla the best Astronaut from

NASA. How many people talks about her now? Almost forgotten? But "Mother

Theresa" She was not married so she lost the chance of being a mother to her

own children. But she was a mother for many and in the hearts of all!! Who is

the best?? Saratha Devi wife Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, as the husband took

celibacy she couldn't have any children. But she was called as mother by all

the devotees and followers of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa. Ladies are especial as

they are more compassionate and loving than males. Why? Its a pre-arrangement

by God as that is necessary to bringing up the children. We have different

cultures, languages, etc. but allover the world everything is referred to as

"mother tongue", "mother land", etc. Why? Because only mothers have the best

gift in the world. You say "Happy Eswaramba Day" Why? She was not a doctor, or

a famous person. She simply gave birth to a child and became a mother.

 

Society's opinions changed and changing over the period. So, we need not pay and

heed to them. Also, accepting husband's words should not taken very literally.

Ex: if husband ask you to have drug, you are not suppose to say yes. That's not

what Swami says. What he means is there can be only one head in a

family(similar to a chairman). One should make the decisions with the consent

of the other - wife(director). This is necessary for the family (company) to go

smoothly in the correct path. Then you could ask the question why Man be the

Chairman? Because "Man" is included in "Woman" Woman is all pervasive. She is

the highest source of energy. Swami Himself is "Arthanareshwar" - half

Shiva(male) and half Parvathi (female). and His teachings are for all yuga and

is practiced by everybody.

 

By being a doctor you can cure a disease but can't change mind of the males or

females who treats the other females in a discriminatory manner. But being a

mother you can simply change all your sons attitudes and mould them in such a

way that they will give respect to womanhood. Also being a mother you can

change the ways of your daughters in such a way that they will uphold the

dignity of womanhood. If all mother changes their daughters and sons then where

is the need for the questions of rights of woman ???

 

Finally, I would like to emphasize on one thing. Believe in Swami and His

teachings. Every thing He says is for our best. Be like a small child who looks

up the face of its mother for everything. That child depends on its mother for

everything. It doesn't do anything on its own. We are in the same position as

that child. We need to follow our mother Sai. What She gives is for our best.

 

I would like to remind you a small story. When Swami was walking, one of His

student gave Him an expensive vase. Swami asked Him to break it. The boy didn't

as it was an expensive one. Again He asked another student to do that and that

boy didn't do so for the same reason. Third time he asked another boy and he

without any hesitation broke that into pieces. What Swami did was he took all

the pieces and made it as a vase again. If we debate on Swami's teachings is

like the student who didn't break the vase thinking that its expensive. But, if

we follow like the boy who broke it without any hesitation, we'll achieve the

goal in the same way Swami made up the vase from the broken pieces as He is the

creator of all. So, why thinking and analysing His teachings? He is the

Omnipotent, Omnipresent and Omniscience. Believe in Him and follow Him, you

will be there sitting on Swami's lap forever as a child who cuddles in his

mother's lap.

 

Shivathmika

 

 

 

 

 

Chavez, Gueza Monday, 9 May 2005 1:24

PMMathivannan, ShivaFW: [saibabanews] A young woman's journey in

surrender

I remember the first time I knew about Swami's opinion about mothers, etc I was

pretty shocked. Now I accept it much more but I still can't accept it 100%!

Perhaps when society considers being a mum as important as being a doctor then

maybe my opinions will change..?

 

I also think in the future there will be 2 kinds of women: 1) those who want to

be single (or at least not have kids) and have a job, and 2) those who want to

be mothers.

 

I would love to hear other people's opinion and I would specially love hearing

your own. Perhaps we should write some comments to the group..!?

 

Gueza

[Guest guest]

Sairam.

 

I very well understand your predicament in this subject. but, what SWAMI says has to be right.

 

People who commit atrocities on women in certain countries, like not giving them

food, healthcare and not educating them enough are real fools. They are the

modern day rakshasas. They will reap the benefits for these karmas. Kali youga

has still 400,000 years to go.

 

I will say as follws - as I understand the creation and the rules.

 

Women are created with certain duties and men are created with certain duties.

This is the divine will. So, men should respect women for doing their duties

and women should respect men for doing their duty. When ego comes in between,

then we get into a clash.In fact, women contribute the maximum to the family

and inturn to the society. Everyone should understand this fundamental reality.

 

The child feels very happy when he/she finds the mother in the house when they

return from the school. They get food at the right time. They get full

emotional security. Can any father give this? Similarly, the child is very

happy and secure when he/she receives the father in the evening. Can any mother

give that? So, both father and mother are equally important to the child for its

allround growth.

 

Comparing a mother and father for their good qualities is not correct. Both are important.

So, house wives, you are the greatest contributor to the society.

 

I would like to discuss in this topic if any one wishes to.

 

Sairam."Chavez, Gueza" <gchavez (AT) kcc (DOT) com> wrote:

Aum Sai Ram

 

Dear Sai Sisters (and Brothers, too)

 

Thank you for bringing this topic up, .....

[Guest guest]

Sai Ram, dear brothers and sisters. My understanding with respect to getting

married and/or divorced is that this is one of those instances where one's guru

should always be consulted first, if one is fortunate enough to have one. This I

learned when I read the Sri Sai Satcharita, which is the famous book on the life

and teachings of our Swami during his past incarnation as Sri Sai Baba of

Shirdi.

 

In the relationship between Guru and Bhakta (Devotee), the devotee is supposed

to ask his or her guru's permission before engaging in some actions, among

them, marriage and/or divorce. If the guru says no to marriage, the devotee

should not marry. If the guru denies permission for the devotee to divorce,

then the devotee should not try to obtain a divorce. Only if the guru gives his

approval can the devotee marry or divorce. This is entirely the guru's choice,

not the devotee's.

 

Therefore, in the case of Diana Baskin, it was alright for her to divorce her

first husband, Joel Riardon, because Swami, her Guru, gave her permission to do

so. Later on, after she had been divorced, Baba Himself chose another husband

for her and married them.

 

Also, a devotee should always consult with his guru and request his permission

and approval before investing his or her money and before undertaking a trip.

It's also a privilege of the devotee to have the right to request from his or

her guru that the guru finds the devotees' children suitable husbands and

wives. Also, when it is time for the devotee to move, the devotee has the

right, and should, ask that his or her guru finds him or her and family a good

house to move to.

 

These I learned reading the Sri Sai Satcharita and ever since I've always asked

for Swami's permission with respect to these matters. Though sometimes the

outcome may not be exactly what we wanted, we must consider the fact that our

Divine Sadguru Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba knows what is best for us. If we,

in our hearts, truly believe this, we shall overcome difficulties and our lives

will be redeemed.

 

With much Sai love to all my Sai sisters and brothers,

Gina

Saiyeled284 (AT) comcast (DOT) net

[Guest guest]

sai ram to all

the ways of our beloved sai is different. His decisions are different for each individual.

But whatever the decision swamy takes that is best for us. Have faith he will hold our hand and

will not leave. He will hold how a mother holds. His hold is firm.

SAI MATA PITA SAI BANDHU SAKHA

TERE CHARANME SAI LELO KOTI PRANAM.

SAI RAM