To You, With Love – From a Spec of Sai

[Guest guest]

I met my grandfather in January, when I went to Tenali for a weekend.

But I didn't know that it would be the last time. After I entered this

earth, I was the thing that got all his love, more than any of his own

sons, daughters and his wife. I was his cute little 'chinni'...from

past 22 years.

 

After I shifted to Chennai, his heart became weak and he was

hospitalized. But since he knew that I myself was not keeping well, he

was determined not to make me come again and again to Tenali. He acted

as if he was alright.

 

I was initially thinking of postponing this weekend's trip. But

Swami's Voice within me turned quite clear by the afternoon. Don't

know why...I changed my mind completely, pushed myself into the

General Coach and landed in Tenali by 6 AM.

 

When I reached the beginning of the street, I saw one of my

very-rarely-seen uncles, coming out of my grandfather's house. There

was no reason for him to be there. But I tried to sound hopeful, "Why

are you here? Is grandpa serious?"

 

He paused for a few moments and said, "He left us yesterday evening."

 

I went and stood before the house where his body was put on ice. I

touched the body. I felt it was hard and cold, like the heart of God.

I touched his chest, smeared it again and again.

 

After 10 minutes, Swami's poem was ringing in my ears. "Dehamu

paanchabhouthikamu, dhehamu koolaka thappadheppudun Dhehi

niraamayundu...." --- (The body is composed of five elements - it must

wither down one day or the other. It is the indweller, who is unbound

by time).

 

The kith and kin were all there. People who had lot of love for him

were there. People who were rich were there. People who were both were

also there. All were sitting and weeping. Nothing more!

 

I wept and wept and wept. It was simply impossible for me to believe

that I would never again hear his voice, see him laughing and joking,

fighting with my little brother, taking my little sister into his

arms.

 

When I spoke to him last, we had a loving chat. While I was coming

back, he kissed me on my forehead. "Take care of your health and job."

he told me and bade me a sweet goodbye. I didn't know that it was a

bye forever. I didn't know that. I just didn't know that....

 

Had I known I would never see him again, I would have hugged him as

strongly as I

could. I would have touched him, caressed him, and kissed him all

through. I would have given all my love packed in that one huge

hug......

 

Dear ALL, It was just that I didn't know it was the last time. Even

now, I don't know what is going to happen to me tomorrow. And let me

not miss this time again…..Before the moment comes....before we both

fall into "physically and mentally non-intersecting worlds", let me

convey to you what I wish to....

 

My heartfelt Love for each one of you. I don't want to call you by

name or recognize you by form. I don't want our relationship to end

with a life or body. I don't want the pain of separation. Let it be

eternal and unabated.

 

I give my warmest Love to Swami who is residing in each one of you -

and now I am sure this Love will remain forever.

 

SAIRAM

 

PS: My grandpa couldn't really believe in Swami. When I was about to

return to Chennai after the cremation, my mother was weeping, telling

me what he told her. It seems he told her, that he would accompany me

to Prasanthi Nilayam or Brindavan the next time I go there, because I

would feel very happy if he did so.

 

"He went away without fulfilling it..." she said amidst her sobs. I

looked into Swami's picture which was hanging from the wall. I clearly

heard His eyes uttering the words, "Tell your mother not to weep. He

did fulfill it....He is with Me, right now."

 

PRAYER

 

Swami,

 

When I see someone (anyone), let me see beyond appearances.

When I hear someone, let me hear beyond voices.

When I touch someone, let me feel beyond the physical warmth.

When I speak to someone, let me convey beyond words,

When I Love someone, let me Love Thee.

For I want to see, hear, speak, touch and Love my dear ones forever.

 

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One of my friends, Kesava replied to this e-mail:

"The mediocrity called living"

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