Seeking Indwelling Divinity: Phyllis Krystal

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Seeking indwelling Divinity

by Phyllis Krystal - Sanathana Sarathi, May 2001

I HAVE HAD MANY EXPERIENCES of the way Bhagavan Baba will teach us, if we are

willing to allow Him to do so. But if we are not open to His divine hints, He

will not force them upon us; instead, He will allow us to follow the dictates

of our ego until we are ready to ask Him for guidance. That requires us to be

humble and admit our own fallibility, which for most of us is a very hard

lesson indeed. It often takes many failures to force us finally to surrender

our own ideas and our own strong desires, to trust Him to give us what He knows

we need for our spiritual growth and then be willing to accept whatever that may

be, whether we like it or not.

"Find Me in your Heart"

One of His most often repeated exhortations is that we detach from His physical

form and turn within ourselves to seek guidance from the inner Baba, the

resident within each of us. But for many of His most ardent devotees that is

very difficult. He is so very tantalizingly attractive in every way that we do

not want to replace that delightful contact with a more nebulous one.

>From the very first time my late husband and I visited Him in January 1973, He

made this message of detachment very clear to me. During that first visit,

Baba was staying at Whitefield near Bangalore, instead of His Ashram at

Puttaparthi. At our farewell interview, I asked Him if He wished us to return

and if so, when, since we did not yet know the protocol. I shall always

remember His answer to that question. He stared intently into my eyes and

pointing His finger at me, said, "First you must understand that you do need to

come back to see this little body," with which He pointed to His own chest.

After a significant pause as He watched my reaction, He continued "… find Me

in your own heart!" Then, with a big smile He reassured me by saying, "But you

will come back to be re-energised."

That early interaction set the stage for me on the following visits. I realized

that in that brief communication, He showed me the eventual goal for each and

all of His devotees. However it is not at all easy to follow this advice. He

is so full of love and so powerfully wise and all-knowing that it is far too

easy to become attached to His form and to crave constant attention and

guidance from Him and to seek answers to all our questions personally. Even

though common sense dictates that it is impossible for Him to give detailed

advice to each of the many thousands of those who continue to journey to see

Him and receive His Darshan, we all remain anxious to have Him personally

reassure us on all the countless aspects of our lives, whether they be

connected to health, marriage, children, occupation, financial situation or a

host of other seemingly important and urgent matters in our estimation.

Process of Detachment from Form

In some cases, when He sees fit, He does seem to take us by the hand, like a

loving parent with a child while it still needs helpful support as it makes its

first, unsteady steps. But eventually, as with a human parent, He starts to

wean us from that support so that we can become strong and stand firmly and

confidently on our own two feet. He is actually acting in a very merciful way

in thus setting us free, even from relying on His form rather than on our inner

guide. He knows only too well that, like our human parents, He will not always

be available in person. So, He prepares us to seek direction from within.

This weaning process is by no means simple or easy to carry out and we often

balk at the very idea, or doubt that we can receive authentic guidance from the

invisible Baba who is our Real Self within every one of us. We fear that our

ego may be getting in the way of this contact. This weaning process, as with

babies, is a gradual one. But there comes a time when we arrive at a place

where we are forces into the unknown and trust that we will be guided from

within, otherwise we will flounder in indecision and defeat.

As I look back over the years since I first came to know Baba, I can observe

His direction in my life' even when it was not apparent to me at that time. At

first, He very patiently and painstakingly offered me much needed help and

direction. Then one day without any previous warning, He looked intently at me

and with great seriousness of tone of voice and facial expression, said, "You do

not need to see Me, Mrs. Krystal." That was the beginning of the weaning

process. Baba has given us all His teachings which are sufficiently clear and

simple for even a child to understand and follow. He now expects us not only

to listen to or read what He says, but be willing to put His teaching into

practice in our every day lives, in all our various activities when we are

faced with the necessity of making a decision.

Channels of Divine Communication

I was present when He gave clear and helpful advice in answer to a question that

had formed in my mind. This incident occurred during a meeting of some of the

members of the US Council that took place in the Ashram in His presence. One

of the subjects under discussion was the question of how to handle one of the

officers who had a very strong will with which to control others. The question

that occupied my mind was, "How can we be sure in determining what is Baba's

direction instead of our own ego or someone else's will?" With Baba's uncanny

ability to read our thoughts, even when we have not voiced them, He turned to

me, saying, "You have a question, Mrs. Krystal?" I replied that I was not an

officer of the organization (at that time), but as the wife of one, I was not

expected to speak. Drawing Himself up to appear very large and imposing, Baba

said, "Swami gives you permission to speak; what is your question?" So, I

asked the question.

His answer was helpful for every one. He advised us to take one of His

photographs to a quiet place and from the heart ask Him to provide an answer.

He assured us that within twenty minutes an answer would be on its way to us.

However, it may not become clear until sometime later, as it needs to reach us

by various channels and at the correct time. This advice is now becoming even

more valuable, as more and more people flock from all around the world to visit

Him. He Himself has warned us that one day, He will appear to us as a little

orange dot seen from a distance.

The channels through which we may receive His answer to our requests are

numerous. I liked the process of watching for signs and hints from different

sources. If we fervently ask for His help and let go our will and all our

preoccupations for or against an outcome, we will receive indications. At first

we may be nervous and doubt the signs, but with regular practice it will appear

like a treasure hunt or an adventure, where we will never know when a sign will

appear or what form it will take. Patience is the chief requirement as the

signs frequently become clear at the very last minute before a decision has to

be made. They come in a dream, in a book we are currently reading, or spoken by

a friend or an acquaintance or in some other apparently coincidental way.

But with all this methods to help us to benefit from our inner Baba's guidance,

regular practice is essential for success, just as it is for any other

undertaking. Fortunately, as soon as we are willing to ask for help from the

Baba within, it is forthcoming. It is our responsibility, first to ask for it

and then to watch for it to be given to us. Then we need to accept it and let

it help solve our problems.

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