Phyllis Krystal- message to youth

[Guest guest]

Phyllis Krystal, USA

Phyllis Krystal is a psychotherapist and lives in the USA. She is a long time

devotee of Sathya Sai Baba and has authored many books. Sai Baba, the Ultimate

Experience was her first book and tells much of her life story and her

discovery of Sai Baba. Her next two books explain the methods she uses in her

work, Cutting the Ties That Bind. She has also written two books focussed on

applying Sai Baba’s teachings to everyday life, Taming the Monkey Mind and

Reconnecting the Love Energy. At 84, Phyllis Krystal leads an active life,

travelling, giving workshops and serving as an advisor on the National Young

Adult Advisory Committee of the Sai Baba Organisation in the USA.

Phyllis Krystal recently attended a retreat held for the Young Adults in

America. The concerns of youth in the modern world are expressed very

succinctly in this Question and Answer session. The questions of the young

adults reveal the illnesses that exist in modern society, which has largely

disregarded the eternal values of Love, Peace, Truth, Integrity and Character.

Indirectly, the youth indicate the pressures of living in Kali Yuga, the age of

discord.

This question and answer session reveals the sincerity of young adults in their

quest to be examples of Swami’s teachings amid the pollution and confusion of

this age. We let the youth raise their questions and read Mrs Krystal’s

replies.

The Responsibility of the Youth

The youth are the ones who will make the leap into the Golden Age. It is very

difficult for elders to change their old habits. It’s much easier for younger

people to do it. I think the hope of the Sathya Sai Organisation and Sathya Sai

Baba’s message rests on your shoulders. You have got to find your own methods to

deal with the situations you face in today’s world. You will have a lot of

criticism, but that will make you strong. If you stay in contact with the Sai

within, He will guide you, because the young people are very, very close to His

heart. It’s not that difficult, it just takes practice. He does not want you to

advertise Him. When people ask, then you can talk about Baba, but you cannot

push Baba on to people. If we carry Swami’s message properly, people will be

attracted and they will ask, “What is different about you? You seem much

happier than the majority of the people.”

Remaining focused on Swami during Times of Difficulty

We have all gone through times when we felt disoriented and confused. I know so

many people who have gone to see Swami in India and all kinds of things erupt

inside of them. It is like He has a witches broom, and He stirs it so that all

of the scum comes to the top. If we don't know we have got these negative

tendencies inside, we cannot fix them. We have to be aware of the things inside

of us that we have suppressed. As soon as we make contact with Swami, even if we

don’t see Him, we will be faced with a lot of difficult changes. The only thing

you can do is say, “I am going to give it to you, Swami.” He says, “Give me all

your negativity, I can deal with it.” Don’t let it overpower you. Just imagine

you are taking hold of it and throwing it at Him. Have an actual image of it

and that will make it a lot more real.

When our Devotion to God is Inconsistent

We all go through times when our devotion is inconsistent. There is no way

around it. It is a natural process. Don’t worry about it. Just hang on to His

feet during the times that you are feeling that way. Keep asking Him. That is

what enlightenment is all about. When we let that light within us, or the Baba

within us, run our lives completely, that will be enlightenment. Too many of us

look into the future, or we are looking at other people and competing with them.

We should never try to compete with anybody else. It is useless. You don’t know

where you are on your path; you don’t know where they are. The only one you can

compare with is with the person you used to be.

Eating Satwic Foods

This is a tough issue for me because Swami has told me that I must eat fish and

chicken because of my rare blood type. A majority of people can be vegetarians

and it is perfectly correct for them, but there are a few people in the world

who can’t be vegetarian and I happen to be one of them. This is what I mean by

Swami telling things to some people, just for that person. It is quite wrong

for all of us to say, “Well, He told that person (such and such), so it is for

everyone.” It is not always for everyone.

Looking Well kept does not mean Focusing on the Ego

Finding the balance between looking neat and materialistic concerns takes

practice, like everything else. It requires a lot of planning ahead. You can

have an internal conversation with Swami. It is amazing how the ideas will just

come to your head if you practice talking to Swami all day long. You can get so

much more done during the day with much less effort and no strain. He makes a

great point of keeping balance in every aspect of our life.

He says that the body is the temple and that we must take care of it. We must

keep it clean. We must keep it attractive, as much as possible. He likes us to

be well groomed. I think some people look positively pale without make-up. I am

sure He wouldn’t want flamboyant make-up. He wants us to fit into our culture

but not deviate from His teachings. It is a very fine line. It does not mean

standing hours and hours in front of a mirror. Keep a standard for yourself and

do not deviate from it. Then, you won’t have the problems that many of you are

incurring without realising it. He is very strict about the way you dress. He

doesn’t want the dress of either the boys or the girls to be distracting to the

opposite group. He does not like people to look untidy. He made a point to me

that we must dress correctly for whatever job we do, for whatever group of

people we are with, because it is by our dress that we are accepted (in

society). If you are dressing according to Swami’s principles and still receive

negative looks and attention, just try to be oblivious to it. There are many

things that happen in this world, and we cannot control all of them.

Friendship with Members of the Opposite Sex and Dating

If you are going to date at all, you should with the intention of marriage. In

some cultures, the two partners don’t even meet until suddenly they are faced

with one another. In our Western culture we get to know one another before we

get into a marriage relationship. I think that is why some of the arranged

marriages really worked out better than we in the West would understand. They

did put people together who were compatible. Sometimes I see people who are

completely incompatible, and I wonder how they ever got together in the first

place.

Many of the things that Baba says are for the Indians. With Westerners, He will

frequently say, “Your customs are different.” When you have a friendship with

someone of the opposite sex, there is an attraction that is naturally built in

so that the race can survive. He always says that until you are married, the

relationship shouldn’t be consummated, for the simple reason that it is like

playing musical beds. This is not good for either of the people. It is not

conductive to a spiritual path, and it loads each of the people with all kinds

of tensions. He tells all the boys at His College to look at every woman either

as their mother if they are older, or as their sister. He is quite strict with

them.

There are a lot of questions about how we should work out Swami’s teachings

everyday life. Swami always seems to say that when you are worshipping, the two

sexes should be separate. He gives very specific reasons for this. When people

of the opposite sex are sitting close to one another, or mingling, there is a

current that occurs, like an electric current, between the different people. It

distracts the people from worship. In our country you cannot avoid friendships

with members of the opposite sex. We are thrown together in work and school

situations. We naturally develop friendships.

How to deal with Lust

Some people have asked me, “What can I do about sexual desires? What can I do

about lust?” I know that the temptations are out there now more than ever

because we are bombarded through television, movies and other media. That is

why Swami warns us not to fill our minds with undesirable movies or magazines

or any kind of media that stimulates us just on the physical level, just on the

sexual, it has to be elevating. He says in the Ceiling on Desires program that

it is not just what you take in through your mouth that is food, it is what you

take in through all of your senses. You have to watch and be responsible for

yourselves, each one of you. That is the most important thing we can do. Don’t

let somebody else tell you how you should behave. Just be strong. The only way

you can be strong is to keep asking Baba to help you.

The best way to deal with these sexual desires is to sit with Baba’s picture and

talk to Him as if you were sitting in front of His feet in the ashram. Tell Him

exactly what you are feeling and what questions you want Him to answer. You

have to be very dedicated and really do it. I told you, I always ask Swami to

think, feel, speak, act and love through me all day. That really sets the

stage. Then you’ve got solid ground to work on because you’ve asked Him. Only

when you ask Him, will He help you. He’s made a point of that many, many times

in my presence. You have got to ask. A lot of people say, “Oh Swami, I don’t

like to keep asking you all in the time.” But He says, “That’s your duty.” He

cannot help until you ask. You must find a time when you are seriously asking

from your heart to His. And that is the only way you can control, or give up

some of the feelings that you at your age are going to have. It’s perfectly

natural. Built into the human system is this attraction, just so there will be

more people born. Don’t feel guilty about it, just accept it. “Yes, I’ve got

these feelings. All right Swami, if this isn’t appropriate right now then you

take care of it.” He wants our temple (the body) to be kept as clean as

possible so that we can worship Him within our own bodies.

The Significance of a Monogamous Relationship

Baba says we have the duty to keep our temples as free and clean as possible.

When men are nervous or tense, they can release tension through the sexual act.

What does that do to the woman? She receives all of that negative energy. A

woman is like a receptacle that receives all of this negative energy. This is

one of the reasons why Swami does not want people to have extramarital sex.

Also, you’ve made a commitment that you are going to stay with the one person.

You have to be very fastidious about keeping your vessel clean. Men have to

take responsibility for themselves and their own tensions. There are many ways

to release tension other than by that particular method; it cannot just be on a

completely physical level. You have to realise that you are spiritual beings,

not just animals or bodies.

Baba is very strict about our not being like animals. In fact, He says that many

human beings are not like animals, they are lower than animals because animals

have a very strict routine and they are very careful, but human beings can go

overboard in many different ways. When you are in a relationship that is

permanent, or have made a commitment, you are really married in that sense of

the word. You are staying with that one person. You can work out all of your

emotional and mental tensions together. You can talk about them. But, when you

have several relationships, just promiscuous ones, you don’t do that. Instead,

you get stuck with all of the anxiety that each one gave to the other.

Who is the Right Person to Marry?

People are put together where there is a karmic connection. They have something

to work out. You can feel the connection. It is almost like you already know

the person. If that doesn’t help, you just have to pray that Baba will bring

you the person that He wants you to be with.

The Role of Marriage in Spirituality

In our culture, men and women get together. They have friendships. They have

relationships. However, whether or not it is acceptable depends upon what is

involved. Swami feels very strongly that God should come first. All

relationships come second. We should not be attached to any other relationship

as firmly as the one with the God within us. He says that we are God. That has

to be our chief concern. He says that when two people get together in marriage

it is very much like taking two very rough stones and putting them in a jar and

shaking them up together so that the rough edges of each one, having friction

with each other, can polish each other’s rough edges. He says that is

essentially what relationships are all about. It is the same with families. It

is the friction that is necessary to get all of the rough edges of each person

completely smoothed out.

You have certain things to work out in this life karmically. There are certain

things in past lives where we have digressed from the proper way of living, and

we’ve got to work them out. If we keep on changing partners, we are not giving

ourselves a chance to work out the karma we could be working out with that

other person. Sometimes the tensest relationships are the most helpful for both

of the people. He does not say, don’t have sex when you are married, except

after the age of sixty when a spiritual marriage is performed. He gave my

husband and me a spiritual marriage, and made the point that He was marrying us

the second time in a Vedic ceremony so that we could help one another on the

spiritual path. Then, He always says that the sexual relationship between the

two people can gradually be reduced so that you are working just on your

spiritual journey.

Realising our Mission on Earth and Channeling our Talents

I don’t know and I have lived 84 years. I don’t think it matters. We worry too

much about it. If you let Swami run your life and guide you, you don’t have to

worry about these things. If you just keep asking Him to think, feel, speak,

act, and love through you, gradually, as you practice this, He will be able to

do this more and more. You must also place a ceiling on your desires because

the only thing that gets in the way of our connection with Swami is if we do or

do not want something. The wonderful part is that He can get through the areas

where you know you are lacking, because there is nothing to get in His way. He

gets to use you as an instrument in the areas that you cannot do something

well.

FROM: Spiritual Impressions, July-August, 1998, pages 48-51

Published by

Sai Tower Publishing

http://www.saibaba.ws/articles/saibabasmessage.htm

[Guest guest]

It is an absolutely awesome peice!!

Thanks Sherry!

Just one question lingers:

So, are we ask Him for things to get done - or just Surender to what He thinks

is the most appropriate for us?

This issue is a big catch for me!

T.

[Guest guest]

10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy">Sai Ram Friend,

10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy">

10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy">In my limited knowledge, I feel it is best

to ask God to act through me and then I put in my efforts by doing what I am supposed

to do. Then in the end no matter what the outcome, (this is the hard part) surrender

the fruits of this effort. This way I feel that God is the doer, and my effort

can only exist because of God’s doing and grace. I can then find no fault

with the outcome, because it is God’s will, not my will.

10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy">

10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy">Hope this makes sense.

10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy">

10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy">In Sai,

10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy">

Fran

color:navy">

10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy">

font-family:Tahoma;font-weight:bold">ourworld

[ourworld (AT) fregat (DOT) com]

Friday, February 04, 2005

3:55 AM

saibabanews

[saibabanews] Re: Phyllis

Krystal- message to youth

12.0pt">

font-family:Arial">It is an absolutely awesome peice!!

font-family:Arial">Thanks Sherry!

font-family:Arial">Just one question lingers:

font-family:Arial">So, are we ask Him for things to get done - or just

Surender to what He thinks is the most appropriate for us?

font-family:Arial">This issue is a big catch for me!

font-family:Arial">T.

12.0pt">