Sthri Dharma

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The Feminine Principle is spoken of as the illusion imposed upon

Himself by the Lord, as the Energy with which He equipped Himself out

of His own will. This is the Maya, the Feminine Form. This is the

reason why Woman is considered as Parasakthi Swarupa. She is the

faithful companion of Man, his Fortune; since she is the

concretisation of the Will of the Lord, she is Mystery, Wonder, the

representative of the protective Principle; the Queen of his home,

his beneficence, the Illumination of the house.

 

Women who are repositories of the Sakthiswarupa are in no way

inferior; how full of fortitude, patience and prema is their nature!

Their self-control is seldom equaled by men. They are the exemplars

and leaders for men to tread the spiritual path. Pure self-less love

is inborn in women. Women who are full of knowledge, who are

cultured, who are bound by love and who are keen on discriminating

whether their words and deeds are in conformity with Dharma - such

women are like the Goddess Lakshmi, bringing joy and good fortune to

the home. That home, where the husband and the wife are bound

together by holy love, where every day both are engaged in the

reading of books that feed the soul, where the Name of the Lord is

sung and His Glory remembered, that home is really the Home of the

Lord, Vaikunta! The woman who is attached to her husband by means of

Love is indeed a flower radiating rare perfume; she is a precious

gem, shedding luster in the family, a wife endowed with virtue is

really a brilliant jewel.

 

Chastity is the ideal for womankind. By the strength derived from

that virtue, they can achieve anything. Savithri was able, through

that power, to win back the life of her husband; she actually fought

with the Lord of Death. Anasuya, the wife of the Sage Athri and the

mother of Dattatreya, was able to transform even the Trinity into

infants. Nalayani, who was devoted to her leper husband, could by the

mysterious force of her chastity stop the sun in its course! Chastity

is the crown jewel of women. That is the virtue for which she has to

be most extolled. Its beneficent consequences defy description. It is

the very breath of life. By means of her chastity and the power it

grants, she can save her husband from calamity. She saves herself by

her virtue and wins, without doubt, even heaven, through her chastity.

Modesty is essential for women; it is her priceless jewel. It is

against Dharma for a woman to overstep the limits of modesty;

crossing the limits brings about many calamities. Why, the very glory

of womanhood will be destroyed. Without modesty, woman is devoid of

beauty and culture. Humility, purity of thought and manners,

meekness, surrender to high ideals, sensitivity, sweetness of temper -

the peculiar blend of all these qualities is modesty. It is the most

invaluable of all jewels for women.

 

The modest woman will ever keep within limits, through her innate

sense of propriety. She becomes automatically aware which behaviour

is proper and which is improper. She will stick only to virtuous

deeds and behaviour. Modesty is the test of a woman's grandeur. If a

woman has no modesty she is injuring the interests of womanhood

itself, besides undermining her own personality. She is like a

fragranceless flower, which the world does not cherish or honour, or

even approve. The absence of modesty makes life, for a woman, however

rich in other accomplishments, a waste and a vacuum. Modesty lifts

her to the heights of sublime holiness. The modest woman wields

authority in the home and outside, in the community as well as in the

world.

 

The principles of Atmadharma will not allow the term "woman" to be

applied to "a woman without modesty". If respect and honour are

heaped upon a person who does not follow Atmadharma, it is like

heaping decorations on a body that has no life in it. The soul that

has left the body cannot enjoy the respect shown to the corpse. So

too, if a person who is unaware of the Reality, who has not

experienced the purpose of the Atma's embodiment, is crowned with

fame and glory, who derives joy therefrom?

The modest woman will not care for such meaning-less trash and

tinsel; she will rather seek self-respect, which is much more

satisfying. That is the characteristic which makes her the Lakshmi of

the Home. That is why the wife is referred to as Grihalakshmi. If the

wife has no such mark the home becomes an abode of ugliness.

The woman is the prop of the home and of religion. She plants and

fosters religious faith or dries up and up-roots it. Women have

natural aptitude for faith and spiritual endeavour. Women with

devotion, faith, and meekness can lead men on the Godward path and

the practice of holy virtues. They will get up early, before dawn,

clean the home and after finishing bath etc., sit for a while engaged

in Japam and Dhyanam. They will have in their homes one small room

set apart for the worship of the Lord. They will place their images

of the Lord as well as pictures of holy sages and of gurus and

guides. They will consider the room specially sacred and fill the

atmosphere with their prayers both morning and evening, as well as on

holy days and festivals. A woman who is steadfastly doing these will

be able to transmute even her atheist husband, persuading him to join

the prayers or engage in some good activity or some scheme of social

service marked by the attitude of Dedication to the Lord. Indeed, it

is the woman who maintains the home; that is her mission. She is

truly the representative of Sakthi.

 

On the other hand, if the wife tries to pull the husband away from

the Godward path, from the spiritual to the level of the sensual, or

if the husband treats the wife who is disposed to seek joy from her

spiritual endeavour as a person following the wrong track and tries

to drag her away from it, the home of such a couple is unworthy of

that name; it is not a home; it is inferno, where ghosts and evil

spirits revel.

 

Really, woman should strive to achieve the knowledge of the Soul and

live every moment in the consciousness of her being only the Atman;

she must evince always a desire to become one with the Divine

Consciousness. The home where the woman is such and where the husband

and wife are leading their lives in the shade of great ideals, where

they together sing the glory of the Name of the Lord and spend

themselves in good deeds, where there reigns Truth, Peace and Love,

where regular reading is done of holy books, where the senses are

under control and where there is equal treatment for all creation

prompted by the knowledge of the basic unity of all creation, such a

Home is certainly Heaven on Earth.

 

A wife with such a nature is a wife worth the name. She must have

real love towards the husband, then only can she be called housewife

or Grihini. Then only is she Dharmapathni, the Bhaarya, the

Instrument and Companion for Dharma, Artha and Kama. She who knows

the mind of the husband and speaks soft and sweet, is the real

friend. Why, sometimes, when the wife has to point out the path of

Dharma to the husband, she takes on the role even of a Father! When

the husband is down with illness she is the Mother.

 

Woman must accord first place to the service of her husband; that is

True Worship, for her. Her prayers and worship and puja can wait.

Without serving the husband she cannot attain Bliss in worship or

meditation. As a matter of fact, the Lord must be welcomed as

represented by the husband and all service rendered to him must be

elevated to the level of worship; that is the path of genuine duty.

If every act is done as if it is for the sake of the Atma and its

merger with Paramathma, then activity becomes dedicated to the Lord.

All such acts save; they do not bind. It does not matter, how bad or

low the husband is, the wife must, through love, bring him round and

correct him, and help him gain the blessings of the Lord. It is not

correct to feel that her progress alone matters and she has no

concern in his improvement or uplift. She must feel, on the other

hand, that the welfare of the husband, the joy of the husband, the

wishes of the husband, the salvation of the husband, these are the

panacea for her also. Such a woman will receive the Grace of the Lord

automatically, without special effort; it will be showered upon her;

the Lord will always be by her side and be kind to her in all ways.

By her virtue, she will ensure the salvation of her husband.

 

Of course there were educated women in the past also, but they never

gave up their Dharma, they never forgot the goal of Atmadharma. Vidya

or education must be built on the basis of Viveka or Discrimination.

Sulabha, Savithri, Anasuya, Gargi, Nalayani and other such models of

chastity, devotees of the Lord like Meera, yoginis like Choodala, all

were born in this Bharathadesa and by their adherence to Dharma, they

strengthened Dharma. Once, when Sulabha was discoursing on the Atma

with all her scholarship and experience, even Janaka was astounded!

It is through the example of such great and holy women, with their

character and conduct inspired by Bhakthi and Jnana, that even today

simplicity, humility and devotion shine in the hearts of the women of

Bharathadesa.

 

Women should draw inspiration now from them; efforts must be made by

them to live as these did in the past. The Hindu woman must ever have

before her as her guide the ideal of Dharma and progress in spiritual

discipline. She can master any subject related to the objective world

which has gained prominence today; but the welfare of the spirit

should not also be forgotten; she must get interested in Vedanthic

study which cultivates the Inner Vision. A woman without this

training is a rock without support, a danger to herself and others, a

very unbalanced individual. Sulabha and others who pursued such

studies became Brahmavadins of great fame. India produced several

such saints and scholars, among women. Pundits and Vidwans used to

approach such women for inspiration and guidance.

 

The education of today is spoken of as Vidya, but that is merely a

way of calling it. It does not deserve that name, if you consider the

present actions of the educated and their personal traits. The

educated person must be capable of imbibing the inner joy of the

Atman, irrespective of external circumstances; he must have grasped

the purpose of existence; he must be aware of the discipline of

Realisation. The Grace of the Lord was the Diploma which every

student sought to secure in the old days. That Diploma was awarded to

those who were proficient in the cultivation of morality, the

knowledge of the Atman, the sublimation of instincts, good conduct,

pure habits, control of the senses, restraint of the mind, and the

development of divine qualities. Today, however, things are

different. Diplomas can now be gained by mugging up a few books! By

going through modern schooling one cannot acquire moral and spiritual

training.

 

Every woman must be given education in a well-planned manner. She

must be able to understand the problems of the country. She must

render such service and help as she can, within the limits of her

resources and capacity, to the country, the community and the family.

No nation can be built except on the culture of its women. The coming

generation is shaped by the mothers of today; this generation is so

full of adharma and injustice, because the mothers who brought it up

were not vigilant and intelligent enough. Well, what is past is past.

To save at least the next generation, women have to be warned in time

and guided to take the ancients as their model.

 

Past, present or future, for all time, women are the backbone of

progress; the heart of the nation, the very breath. They play the

chief role in the dharma of life here below, a key role that is

charged with holiness. Her mission is to lay down the canons of

rightness and morality. She must provide children with moral and

spiritual training. When the mother is imbued with Dharma, the

children get the benefit and they get similarly saturated. When she

is skilled in morals, the children learn to be moral. Therefore, the

level of education among women decides whether a country is to

prosper or decline. Her acts and conduct are crucial factors.

The responsibility of the elders and the parents is very great in

this. Take the students of today; no trace of culture can be seen in

them; matters of the spirit and talk of the Atma raise laughter among

them! A majesty of words, a servitude to tailoring - these have

become the fashion. This is not genuine culture. The educated women

of today are helpless when it comes to managing a home. Home to them

is but a hotel; they are so helplessly dependent on the cook and the

maid. The educated woman is but a painted doll, decorating the modern

home; she is a handicap to the husband, a weight around his neck. He

is squeezed by her insistent demands for spending money on all kinds

of objects. She does not share in the tasks of house-keeping and so

by sheer idleness, and eating and sleeping without exercise, she

develops illness which leads her quickly to death.

 

The wanton behaviour of women has enveloped the world of today in an

atmosphere of declining Dharma. Women are harming themselves by

running after fleeting pleasure, regardless of the need to develop

good character and elevating qualities. They are enamoured of the

pseudo-freedom, which feeds their conceit. To get fixed up in a job,

to earn degrees, to move about with all and sundry without

distinction and discrimination, to discard respect for elders and

give up fear of sin and evil, to over-look the claims of the good and

the holy, to force the husband to dance to one's tune, to deny the

tribute of repentance to one's errors, are these the signs of

education? No; they are all the monstrous shapes of Avidya, the

uneducated egoist attitudes that make a person ugly and repelling.

If the wife feels that the husband's home is sacred, then that home

itself will endow her with every skill and qualification. There is no

place anywhere which excels such a home for her. One saintly poet has

sung that it is her temple, her school, her playground, her political

arena, her field of sacrifice, her hermitage.

 

Educated women can do useful service to the community around them

according to their skill, taste, inclination, desire, character,

educational status, mode of living, discipline or scholarship. They

should avoid tarnishing the reputation of their parents, their family

or themselves. A woman without a good character is as bad as `dead';

so women must be ever vigilant when they move about in the world.

They should avoid flippant talk or free mixing. The discriminating

woman will engage only in such acts as will add to the luster of her

husband's fame and honour, never an act which will tarnish it. That

is why it is said, "Sadguna or virtue is the sign of the educated

person, the thing which makes education worthwhile."

 

I do not declare that women should not be educated or that they

should not move in society. Wherever they move, if they are endowed

with good qualities, and if the good qualities are accompanied by

good actions and good habits, and adherence to Sanathanadharma and

Sadhana, then their study is really worth while and society is indeed

benefited. Study and society are not harmful in themselves; they

react with the nature of the persons who make use of them and yield

good or bad results.

 

Therefore, whatever subject a woman might have studied and mastered,

whatever the degree she has won, whatever the status of her husband

or of herself, she must hold fast to these truths; real charm

consists in good character; morality is the very breath of woman;

modesty, the very live force; adherence to truth is her daily duty.

She must plant the seedlings of fear (fear of sin, love of the Lord)

in her heart and cultivate the charm of humility. In the religious,

moral and physical fields, she must adhere to the strict dictates of

Dharma, and take that as the essence of all Vidya. She must be

prepared to sacrifice even her life for the sake of maintaining

honour; she must nourish and preserve her chastity and her adoration

of the husband. This is the Chief Dharma of woman. This is the reason

for her very birth as Woman.

 

- Satya Sai Baba (excerpt from his book "Dharma Vahini")