Guest guest Posted March 9, 2004 Report Share Posted March 9, 2004 Sai Ram Thu, 04 Mar 2004 02:29:47 +0000 Sai Ram, For those of you who know brother Jagadesan from Malaysia. Here is some important information regarding the passing of his son. The purpose of this email is that, he does not want people to learn about this tragedy thro the grapevine. Because then it will only add fuel to the fire, with regards to the anti sai groups, who want to blame Swami for everything that goes wrong. Hence here is a letter straight from brother Jaga. I recieved it from the Sai-net. Rgds Wagdevi The Passing on of Jaganaatha Sai s/o Jegathesan. Malaysia. My Dear Sai Family, It is with totally uncalled tears in my eyes and heart (for Bhagavan Baba has said that "under no circumstances should we cry), that I am conveying to all those who have worked with me for so many years in the leadership of the International Sai Organisation, about the passing away of my youngest son, in very hurting and sad tragic circumstances. He was born on March 6th 1981 and Bhagavan Baba, in an interview I had with him, lovingly gave the name "Jaganaatha Sai". Subsequently my son has had the grace of a number of personal contacts with Bhagavan, the latest being in Nov. 1996 when the family met Bhagavan about two weeks after the passing away of my dear wife Shanti. At that time Jegan (as he was lovingly called by all) was about 16 years old. He was the pet of the family, tall, fair and good looking and was a special pet of his late mother. The passing away of Shanti, in extraordinary and sudden circumstances had great impact on all, but especially our youngest child. He went into a mild depression, and seemed to recover and performed well in his studies and at the age of 21 had graduated in IT and started working. But in between all this, it was about a year ago that his depression began to manifest. One day he became totally irrational, and began to find faults with me and members of the family and even his office staff and close friends. I myself only re alized that something was seriously wrong when he accused me of interfering with his office and speaking to his boss against his work. This stunned me and that was when we decided that he needed psychiatric help. He was referred for medical treatment at the psychiatric ward of the Malaysian University hospital. He was there for 13 days. He was diagnosed as suffering from stress induced paranoid schizophrenia. He came out of that, and to give him a new environment, he went to Australia to further his studies (for an MBA), but returned within 2 months saying that was not for him. His old company gladly took him back. He was in the meantime being treated for his psychological problems and was on regular medication. Even before his 23rd Birthday (6th March), he was promoted to Supervisor and when i spoke to his manager about 2 weeks before his passing away, when he was admitted to hospital, he described Jegan as "brilliant" and someone with a great future in the company. On his return from Australia he decided to stay away from home, but would visit regularly and join for family events. About three weeks ago he called me at about 2.30 a.m. and said "Papa, I would like to come back home, as I need my family to cope with the stress". I welcomed him back and he came back that very morning, and settled in nicely. About two weeks ago ( on Thursday 12th Feb.) his elder sisters returned home in the late evening and saw him lying on the couch in the Living room, after he had gone jogging, (possibly for the first time in months). He did not respond to our call to "wake up and go to bed". However thinking it was just exhaustion combined with the drugs that had been prescribed for him, we let him sleep on the couch for the night. Next morning when I went to work he was still sleeping. It was only at about 11am when my daughter called and said that he was still sleeping and they could not wake him up, that we decided to rush him to hospital. There he lay in virtual coma and under drips for 3 days and than he came out of the "sleep". The first day after the "awakening" he was totally irrational, but the next day he telephones me from the hospital, and talks as though nothing had happened. When asked what had happened he told the doctors and us that he could not cope with his new promotion and "wanted to end it all". He claimed that after his promotion he had only about an hours sleep every night". He had taken an overdose of pills after he had finished jogging, because he "just wanted to sleep". Now he himself laughed at the incident and told me "Papa, this will never happen again. This is a new Jaganaatha Sai". Anyway he was in hospital for about 10 days. My meetings with the psychiatrists who were treating him assured me that he was recovering well and he was put under new medication. He became a hero of soughts in the Ward, when he helped prevent another patient from trying to commit suicide or hurt himself by trying to cut his wrist with the sharp end of a paper clip. On Thursday 26th Feb. the doctors said he could return home , but not before he was asked by the staff to be the master of ceremony of a party that the staff had put up for all, in conjunction with some holiday event. He even won a prize. I took him home and that night there was a big family outing, dinner etc with his cousins and he was perfect. On Friday 27th Feb., he came into my bedroom early and joined me in my morning prayers. This was for me a very extraordinary session. He was so good that I showed him how I cleaned the prayer altar every morning so that in case he wanted to help, he could clean it in future. Than he joined me in the garden and I showed him how I plucked Thulsi leaves and flower for prayers. I also showed him ( and he did likewise,) how I chewed Thulsi and Margosa leaves every morning as this was very healthy. Than we prayed together and he sang a bhajan to Lord Subramaniam. He than did LINGA ABISHEGAM on the Shivalingam that Baba had materialsed for me with instructions to offer the abishig water to sick people. He drank that water. He also did abisheg on another lingam that had been gifted to him by some elders with 27 invocations of "Om Nama Shivaaya, Om Sai Ram", the mantra that Bhagavan Baba had asked me to use when I did the Abishegam on the materaised Shivalingam. Than he took Padanamaskaar from me and I placed Vhibuthi on his forehead and hugged and kissed his cheeks, assuring him of my Love. When I left for office, he went over to my Aunts house in front of our home and joined his aunts (my cousins) who had come visiting from Overseas. In fact, they had told me to send him over for he should not be alone at home. They than took him for Friday prayers to the Ganesha Temple where he participated fully and happily and with great devotion. They came back home for lunch and it was a very happy family gathering. At 3.30 pm he told his aunts that he would like to go for a walk and he was so perfect that they thought nothing of it, but asked him to be back by 4.30 pm, as they did not want him out alone for so long. He insisted on the walk so they asked him to make it short. At 5.00 pm he had not returned and they became concerned. At about 5.30 p.m., I was still in the office with some meeting, when I receive a call from my daughter. My son had at about 4.10p.m. (at best time estimates would have it from those who heard the impact), had jumped off a tall building less than half a mile away from my home and had died. He had taken his own life! Why he would do this when there was no stress (at least as others perceived it), when he had enjoyed, for all intents, a perfect and happy day, only God will know. There is a strange irony to these events which has been noted by many people. On Tuesday 24th Feb at the weekly Bungsar Sai Centre Bhajan, I read out excerpts from Baba's 2003 Christmas message. When I read that message I was doing it to comfort and give courage to some others in the Centre who had suffered some family tragedies. This was what I read out: "Whatever man experiences is the creation of the mind. Due to the illusion created by the mind, he establishes relationships and starts saying, my father, my mother, my wife, my children, etc. This illusion is the ultimate cause of his suffering. When man develops pure and unsullied love, he will not experience pain or suffering. Love for the physical body is false and transitory.... ...Pleasure and pain are of your own making. They are not given by God. You are the cause of your suffering, none else..... ...Worldly LOVE is transient; it cannot be called love at all. True love is immortal. You should cultivate such love. Physical body grows and decays. How can you consider it to be real? In fact, nothing in this world is real. Body attachment is the cause of delusion. Hence, gradually reduce your body attachment. This is the most important Sadhana you have to undertake. ...What is the use if you get drowned in delusion more and more with the advancement of age? Do not develop undue attachment to be body and material possessions. Under any circumstances, do not shed tears of sorrow. You will be free from sorrow when you give up body attachment." Little did I realize that my Divine Father was preparing me for the events that would confront me on Friday 27th Feb. 04. Bhagavan had said that we should never cry under any circumstances. I always try to uphold as best as i can all what Bhagavan says. At the mortuary I maintained HIS instructions and gave comfort to the others who were crying. But on Sat.28th during the funeral at home and at the crematorium I shamed the Avathar and myself by crying uncontrollably. The only comfort that I could draw from the breach of this divine directive was the thought (as equally when I cried uncontrollably when my dear wife passed on), was the thought that "Rama cried when Sita was captured. Rama cried when Lakshmana was wounded in battle. Arjuna cried when his son was killed in battle"...so who am I, an ordinary aspirant of Divine devotion, not to cry. I cried but also resolved that I will continue to fulfill my Dharma and continue to contribute in my own small way to the work of the DIVINE MISSION OF THE AVATHAR. Please forgive me for taking your time with this long message. Even as I write this I realize that this is one way I am psychologically consoling myself and trying to, by putting this narrative on paper, taking it from the frightening recording machine in my mind that seems to be constantly repeating the events of the last few days. Perhaps now the recording machine will stop, especially when I try to sleep. To my Beloved Bhagavan and the leaders of the Prashanti council and all the leaders who make up the leadership of the International Sai Seva Organization, I give my assurance that the tragic events that has beset my life ( my mother as you all know passed away on the 29th Nov. 03, the day I left Prashanti Nilayam for home...creating almost an identical situation as when my wife passed on, as I was returning from Prashanti in Nov. 1996) will in no way diminish my resolve to serve in the Divine Mission. I am aware that some in Malaysia and elsewhere, knowing half truths and listening to rumors will judge me harshly for "losing a son" like this, when I have tried to motivate to the highest ideals thousands of Youth round the world to be ideal sons and daughters. If that happens than that is my fate. If even the Avatar is judged harshly, by those who wish to judge and find faults, who am I to be spared this calumny. In respect of the work of the Sai Organisation, if the Prashanti Council leadership wishes that I serve, as I have done in the past (and as I had indicated to brother Goldstien in Prashanti in Nov 03), I will do so. Whatever happens, I will continue to serve in HIS Divine Mission in any small way I can in Malaysia or anywhere else in the world where people feel I can contribute to the Divine Mission of reviving Dharma. Once again please forgive me for the length of this note and the details I have chosen to include. Another reason, other than the personal psychological one, is that I do not want rumours to spread as they surely will. Some of you may be aware that the anti Sai forces used the passing away of my wife as part of their campaign, saying that she had committed suicide etc. Though they were wrong that time, this time it will be true, but at least by making this incident transparent, hopefully it will forestall any other version. I apologies to Bhagavan and all Sai Devotees and to the Sai Leadership if the anti Sai uses this as another tool in their vicious campaign. With Love in my Heart to all! Yours in SAI Jega Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2004 Report Share Posted March 9, 2004 Sairam: Please convey our heatfelt condolences to Brother Jaga from Cleveland Sai family. May his soul rest in peace. "Jaga you are a strong man and it may be difficult now. It is your son. So we all pray to Baba for Jegan, and your family. May his soul rest in peace." Partha from Cleveland center. --- Laura <joydrops wrote: > Sai Ram Thu, 04 Mar 2004 02:29:47 > +0000 > > Sai Ram, > > For those of you who know brother Jagadesan from > Malaysia. Here is some > important information regarding the passing of his > son. The purpose of > this email > is that, he does not want people to learn about > this tragedy thro the > grapevine. Because then it will only add fuel to > the fire, with regards to > the anti sai > groups, who want to blame Swami for everything > that goes wrong. Hence here > is > a letter straight from brother Jaga. I recieved it > from the Sai-net. > > Rgds Wagdevi > > > The Passing on of Jaganaatha Sai s/o Jegathesan. > Malaysia. > > My Dear Sai Family, It is with totally uncalled > tears in my eyes and heart > (for Bhagavan Baba has said that "under no > circumstances should we cry), > that I > am conveying to all those who have worked with me > for so many years in the > leadership of the International Sai Organisation, > about the passing away > of my > youngest son, in very hurting and sad tragic > circumstances. He was born on > March > 6th 1981 and Bhagavan Baba, in an interview I had > with him, lovingly gave > the > name "Jaganaatha Sai". Subsequently my son has had > the grace of a number > of > personal contacts with Bhagavan, the latest being > in Nov. 1996 when the > family > met Bhagavan about two weeks after the passing > away of my dear wife > Shanti. At > that time Jegan (as he was lovingly called by all) > was about 16 years old. > He > was the pet of the family, tall, fair and good > looking and was a special > pet > of his late mother. The passing away of Shanti, in > extraordinary and > sudden > circumstances had great impact on all, but > especially our youngest child. > He > went into a mild depression, and seemed to recover > and performed well in > his > studies and at the age of 21 had graduated in IT > and started working. But > in > between all this, it was about a year ago that his > depression began to > manifest. > One day he became totally irrational, and began to > find faults with me and > members of the family and even his office staff > and close friends. I > myself only re > alized that something was seriously wrong when he > accused me of > interfering > with his office and speaking to his boss against > his work. This stunned me > and > that was when we decided that he needed > psychiatric help. > > He was referred for medical treatment at the > psychiatric ward of the > Malaysian University hospital. He was there for 13 > days. He was diagnosed > as suffering > from stress induced paranoid schizophrenia. He > came out of that, and to > give > him a new environment, he went to Australia to > further his studies (for an > MBA), but returned within 2 months saying that was > not for him. His old > company > gladly took him back. He was in the meantime being > treated for his > psychological problems and was on regular > medication. Even before his 23rd > Birthday (6th > March), he was promoted to Supervisor and when i > spoke to his manager > about 2 > weeks before his passing away, when he was > admitted to hospital, he > described > Jegan as "brilliant" and someone with a great > future in the company. On > his > return from Australia he decided to stay away from > home, but would visit > regularly and join for family events. About three > weeks ago he called me > at about 2.30 > a.m. and said "Papa, I would like to come back > home, as I need my family > to > cope with the stress". I welcomed him back and he > came back that very > morning, > and settled in nicely. About two weeks ago ( on > Thursday 12th Feb.) his > elder > sisters returned home in the late evening and saw > him lying on the couch > in > the Living room, after he had gone jogging, > (possibly for the first time > in > months). He did not respond to our call to "wake > up and go to bed". > However > thinking it was just exhaustion combined with the > drugs that had been > prescribed for > him, we let him sleep on the couch for the night. > Next morning when I went > to > work he was still sleeping. It was only at about > 11am when my daughter > called > and said that he was still sleeping and they could > not wake him up, that > we > decided to rush him to hospital. There he lay in > virtual coma and under > drips > for 3 days and than he came out of the "sleep". > The first day after the > "awakening" he was totally irrational, but the > next day he telephones me > from the > hospital, and talks as though nothing had > happened. When asked what had > happened > he told the doctors and us that he could not cope > with his new promotion > and > "wanted to end it all". He claimed that after his > promotion he had only > about > an hours sleep every night". He had taken an > overdose of pills after he > had > finished jogging, because he "just wanted to > sleep". Now he himself > laughed at > the incident and told me "Papa, this will never > happen again. This is a > new > Jaganaatha Sai". Anyway he was in hospital for > about 10 days. My meetings > with the > psychiatrists who were treating him assured me > that he was recovering well > and he was put under new medication. He became a > hero of soughts in the > Ward, > when he helped prevent another patient from trying > to commit suicide or > hurt > himself by trying to cut his wrist with the sharp > end of a paper clip. On > Thursday 26th Feb. the doctors said he could > return home , but not before > he was > asked by the staff to be the master of ceremony of > a party that the staff > had put > up for all, in conjunction with some holiday > event. He even won a prize. > > I took him home and that night there was a big > family outing, dinner etc > with > his cousins and he was perfect. On Friday 27th > Feb., === message truncated === ===== Partha Always be happy. Whatever happens is for good. Help one person every day so you can go one step near God. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2004 Report Share Posted March 9, 2004 Please convey my heartfelt condolences to Bro Jagadesan on the sad demise of his son. It really was heartbreaking to read the detailed e-mail. Manju - Laura <joydrops <saibabanews> Tuesday, March 09, 2004 8:17 PM [saibabanews] Sad news from Sai Brother Jagadesan > Sai Ram Thu, 04 Mar 2004 02:29:47 +0000 > > Sai Ram, > > For those of you who know brother Jagadesan from Malaysia. Here is some > important information regarding the passing of his son. The purpose of > this email > is that, he does not want people to learn about this tragedy thro the > grapevine. Because then it will only add fuel to the fire, with regards to > the anti sai > groups, who want to blame Swami for everything that goes wrong. Hence here > is > a letter straight from brother Jaga. I recieved it from the Sai-net. > > Rgds Wagdevi > > > The Passing on of Jaganaatha Sai s/o Jegathesan. Malaysia. > > My Dear Sai Family, It is with totally uncalled tears in my eyes and heart > (for Bhagavan Baba has said that "under no circumstances should we cry), > that I > am conveying to all those who have worked with me for so many years in the > leadership of the International Sai Organisation, about the passing away > of my > youngest son, in very hurting and sad tragic circumstances. He was born on > March > 6th 1981 and Bhagavan Baba, in an interview I had with him, lovingly gave > the > name "Jaganaatha Sai". Subsequently my son has had the grace of a number > of > personal contacts with Bhagavan, the latest being in Nov. 1996 when the > family > met Bhagavan about two weeks after the passing away of my dear wife > Shanti. At > that time Jegan (as he was lovingly called by all) was about 16 years old. > He > was the pet of the family, tall, fair and good looking and was a special > pet > of his late mother. The passing away of Shanti, in extraordinary and > sudden > circumstances had great impact on all, but especially our youngest child. > He > went into a mild depression, and seemed to recover and performed well in > his > studies and at the age of 21 had graduated in IT and started working. But > in > between all this, it was about a year ago that his depression began to > manifest. > One day he became totally irrational, and began to find faults with me and > members of the family and even his office staff and close friends. I > myself only re > alized that something was seriously wrong when he accused me of > interfering > with his office and speaking to his boss against his work. This stunned me > and > that was when we decided that he needed psychiatric help. > > He was referred for medical treatment at the psychiatric ward of the > Malaysian University hospital. He was there for 13 days. He was diagnosed > as suffering > from stress induced paranoid schizophrenia. He came out of that, and to > give > him a new environment, he went to Australia to further his studies (for an > MBA), but returned within 2 months saying that was not for him. His old > company > gladly took him back. He was in the meantime being treated for his > psychological problems and was on regular medication. Even before his 23rd > Birthday (6th > March), he was promoted to Supervisor and when i spoke to his manager > about 2 > weeks before his passing away, when he was admitted to hospital, he > described > Jegan as "brilliant" and someone with a great future in the company. On > his > return from Australia he decided to stay away from home, but would visit > regularly and join for family events. About three weeks ago he called me > at about 2.30 > a.m. and said "Papa, I would like to come back home, as I need my family > to > cope with the stress". I welcomed him back and he came back that very > morning, > and settled in nicely. About two weeks ago ( on Thursday 12th Feb.) his > elder > sisters returned home in the late evening and saw him lying on the couch > in > the Living room, after he had gone jogging, (possibly for the first time > in > months). He did not respond to our call to "wake up and go to bed". > However > thinking it was just exhaustion combined with the drugs that had been > prescribed for > him, we let him sleep on the couch for the night. Next morning when I went > to > work he was still sleeping. It was only at about 11am when my daughter > called > and said that he was still sleeping and they could not wake him up, that > we > decided to rush him to hospital. There he lay in virtual coma and under > drips > for 3 days and than he came out of the "sleep". The first day after the > "awakening" he was totally irrational, but the next day he telephones me > from the > hospital, and talks as though nothing had happened. When asked what had > happened > he told the doctors and us that he could not cope with his new promotion > and > "wanted to end it all". He claimed that after his promotion he had only > about > an hours sleep every night". He had taken an overdose of pills after he > had > finished jogging, because he "just wanted to sleep". Now he himself > laughed at > the incident and told me "Papa, this will never happen again. This is a > new > Jaganaatha Sai". Anyway he was in hospital for about 10 days. My meetings > with the > psychiatrists who were treating him assured me that he was recovering well > and he was put under new medication. He became a hero of soughts in the > Ward, > when he helped prevent another patient from trying to commit suicide or > hurt > himself by trying to cut his wrist with the sharp end of a paper clip. On > Thursday 26th Feb. the doctors said he could return home , but not before > he was > asked by the staff to be the master of ceremony of a party that the staff > had put > up for all, in conjunction with some holiday event. He even won a prize. > > I took him home and that night there was a big family outing, dinner etc > with > his cousins and he was perfect. On Friday 27th Feb., he came into my > bedroom > early and joined me in my morning prayers. This was for me a very > extraordinary session. He was so good that I showed him how I cleaned the > prayer altar > every morning so that in case he wanted to help, he could clean it in > future. > Than he joined me in the garden and I showed him how I plucked Thulsi > leaves and > flower for prayers. I also showed him ( and he did likewise,) how I chewed > Thulsi and Margosa leaves every morning as this was very healthy. Than we > prayed > together and he sang a bhajan to Lord Subramaniam. He than did LINGA > ABISHEGAM > on the Shivalingam that Baba had materialsed for me with instructions to > offer the abishig water to sick people. He drank that water. He also did > abisheg > on another lingam that had been gifted to him by some elders with 27 > invocations of "Om Nama Shivaaya, Om Sai Ram", the mantra that Bhagavan > Baba had asked > me to use when I did the Abishegam on the materaised Shivalingam. Than he > took > Padanamaskaar from me and I placed Vhibuthi on his forehead and hugged and > kissed his cheeks, assuring him of my Love. When I left for office, he > went over > to my Aunts house in front of our home and joined his aunts (my cousins) > who > had come visiting from Overseas. In fact, they had told me to send him > over for > he should not be alone at home. They than took him for Friday prayers to > the > Ganesha Temple where he participated fully and happily and with great > devotion. They came back home for lunch and it was a very happy family > gathering. At > 3.30 pm he told his aunts that he would like to go for a walk and he was > so > perfect that they thought nothing of it, but asked him to be back by 4.30 > pm, as > they did not want him out alone for so long. He insisted on the walk so > they > asked him to make it short. At 5.00 pm he had not returned and they became > concerned. At about 5.30 p.m., I was still in the office with some > meeting, when I > receive a call from my daughter. My son had at about 4.10p.m. (at best > time > estimates would have it from those who heard the impact), had jumped off a > tall > building less than half a mile away from my home and had died. He had > taken > his own life! > > Why he would do this when there was no stress (at least as others > perceived > it), when he had enjoyed, for all intents, a perfect and happy day, only > God > will know. > > There is a strange irony to these events which has been noted by many > people. > On Tuesday 24th Feb at the weekly Bungsar Sai Centre Bhajan, I read out > excerpts from Baba's 2003 Christmas message. When I read that message I > was doing > it to comfort and give courage to some others in the Centre who had > suffered > some family tragedies. This was what I read out: > > "Whatever man experiences is the creation of the mind. Due to the illusion > created by the mind, he establishes relationships and starts saying, my > father, > my mother, my wife, my children, etc. This illusion is the ultimate cause > of > his suffering. When man develops pure and unsullied love, he will not > experience pain or suffering. Love for the physical body is false and > transitory.... > > ...Pleasure and pain are of your own making. They are not given by God. > You > are the cause of your suffering, none else..... > > ...Worldly LOVE is transient; it cannot be called love at all. True love > is > immortal. You should cultivate such love. Physical body grows and decays. > How > can you consider it to be real? In fact, nothing in this world is real. > Body > attachment is the cause of delusion. Hence, gradually reduce your body > attachment. This is the most important Sadhana you have to undertake. > > ...What is the use if you get drowned in delusion more and more with the > advancement of age? Do not develop undue attachment to be body and > material > possessions. > > Under any circumstances, do not shed tears of sorrow. You will be free > from > sorrow when you give up body attachment." > > Little did I realize that my Divine Father was preparing me for the events > that would confront me on Friday 27th Feb. 04. > > Bhagavan had said that we should never cry under any circumstances. I > always > try to uphold as best as i can all what Bhagavan says. At the mortuary I > maintained HIS instructions and gave comfort to the others who were > crying. But on > Sat.28th during the funeral at home and at the crematorium I shamed the > Avathar and myself by crying uncontrollably. The only comfort that I could > draw from > the breach of this divine directive was the thought (as equally when I > cried > uncontrollably when my dear wife passed on), was the thought that "Rama > cried > when Sita was captured. Rama cried when Lakshmana was wounded in battle. > Arjuna cried when his son was killed in battle"...so who am I, an ordinary > aspirant > of Divine devotion, not to cry. I cried but also resolved that I will > continue to fulfill my Dharma and continue to contribute in my own small > way to the > work of the DIVINE MISSION OF THE AVATHAR. Please forgive me for taking > your > time with this long message. > > Even as I write this I realize that this is one way I am psychologically > consoling myself and trying to, by putting this narrative on paper, taking > it from > the frightening recording machine in my mind that seems to be constantly > repeating the events of the last few days. Perhaps now the recording > machine will > stop, especially when I try to sleep. To my Beloved Bhagavan and the > leaders > of the Prashanti council and all the leaders who make up the leadership of > the > International Sai Seva Organization, I give my assurance that the tragic > events that has beset my life ( my mother as you all know passed away on > the 29th > Nov. 03, the day I left Prashanti Nilayam for home...creating almost an > identical situation as when my wife passed on, as I was returning from > Prashanti in > Nov. 1996) will in no way diminish my resolve to serve in the Divine > Mission. I > am aware that some in Malaysia and elsewhere, knowing half truths and > listening to rumors will judge me harshly for "losing a son" like this, > when I have > tried to motivate to the highest ideals thousands of Youth round the world > to > be ideal sons and daughters. If that happens than that is my fate. If even > the > Avatar is judged harshly, by those who wish to judge and find faults, who > am I > to be spared this calumny. > > In respect of the work of the Sai Organisation, if the Prashanti Council > leadership wishes that I serve, as I have done in the past (and as I had > indicated > to brother Goldstien in Prashanti in Nov 03), I will do so. Whatever > happens, > I will continue to serve in HIS Divine Mission in any small way I can in > Malaysia or anywhere else in the world where people feel I can contribute > to the > Divine Mission of reviving Dharma. Once again please forgive me for the > length > of this note and the details I have chosen to include. Another reason, > other > than the personal psychological one, is that I do not want rumours to > spread as > they surely will. Some of you may be aware that the anti Sai forces used > the > passing away of my wife as part of their campaign, saying that she had > committed suicide etc. Though they were wrong that time, this time it will > be true, > but at least by making this incident transparent, hopefully it will > forestall > any other version. I apologies to Bhagavan and all Sai Devotees and to the > Sai > Leadership if the anti Sai uses this as another tool in their vicious > campaign. > > > With Love in my Heart to all! > > Yours in SAI > > > Jega Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2004 Report Share Posted March 10, 2004 Please forward this e-mail onto Brother Jagadesan. My heart goes out to him. It seems that when someone is determined to commit suicide there is no way to prevent them. They are very good at covering up their intentions. Let us pray that Jagadesan's son is at peace now in his mother's arms. I do not remember Swami telling us not to cry. Crying can be healing. It's important to deal with sorrow and work through it. Swami can cushion our pain and make it more bearable. May Swami bless and comfort Jagadesan. With deepest sympathy. Chana - Laura saibabanews Tuesday, March 09, 2004 12:17 PM [saibabanews] Sad news from Sai Brother Jagadesan Sai Ram Thu, 04 Mar 2004 02:29:47 +0000 Sai Ram, For those of you who know brother Jagadesan from Malaysia. Here is some important information regarding the passing of his son. The purpose ofthis email is that, he does not want people to learn about this tragedy thro the grapevine. Because then it will only add fuel to the fire, with regards tothe anti sai groups, who want to blame Swami for everything that goes wrong. Hence hereis a letter straight from brother Jaga. I recieved it from the Sai-net. Rgds Wagdevi The Passing on of Jaganaatha Sai s/o Jegathesan. Malaysia. My Dear Sai Family, It is with totally uncalled tears in my eyes and heart (for Bhagavan Baba has said that "under no circumstances should we cry),that I am conveying to all those who have worked with me for so many years in the leadership of the International Sai Organisation, about the passing awayof my youngest son, in very hurting and sad tragic circumstances. He was born onMarch 6th 1981 and Bhagavan Baba, in an interview I had with him, lovingly gavethe name "Jaganaatha Sai". Subsequently my son has had the grace of a numberof personal contacts with Bhagavan, the latest being in Nov. 1996 when thefamily met Bhagavan about two weeks after the passing away of my dear wifeShanti. At that time Jegan (as he was lovingly called by all) was about 16 years old.He was the pet of the family, tall, fair and good looking and was a specialpet of his late mother. The passing away of Shanti, in extraordinary andsudden circumstances had great impact on all, but especially our youngest child.He went into a mild depression, and seemed to recover and performed well inhis studies and at the age of 21 had graduated in IT and started working. Butin between all this, it was about a year ago that his depression began tomanifest. One day he became totally irrational, and began to find faults with me and members of the family and even his office staff and close friends. Imyself only re alized that something was seriously wrong when he accused me ofinterfering with his office and speaking to his boss against his work. This stunned meand that was when we decided that he needed psychiatric help. He was referred for medical treatment at the psychiatric ward of the Malaysian University hospital. He was there for 13 days. He was diagnosedas suffering from stress induced paranoid schizophrenia. He came out of that, and togive him a new environment, he went to Australia to further his studies (for an MBA), but returned within 2 months saying that was not for him. His oldcompany gladly took him back. He was in the meantime being treated for his psychological problems and was on regular medication. Even before his 23rdBirthday (6th March), he was promoted to Supervisor and when i spoke to his managerabout 2 weeks before his passing away, when he was admitted to hospital, hedescribed Jegan as "brilliant" and someone with a great future in the company. Onhis return from Australia he decided to stay away from home, but would visit regularly and join for family events. About three weeks ago he called meat about 2.30 a.m. and said "Papa, I would like to come back home, as I need my familyto cope with the stress". I welcomed him back and he came back that verymorning, and settled in nicely. About two weeks ago ( on Thursday 12th Feb.) hiselder sisters returned home in the late evening and saw him lying on the couchin the Living room, after he had gone jogging, (possibly for the first timein months). He did not respond to our call to "wake up and go to bed".However thinking it was just exhaustion combined with the drugs that had beenprescribed for him, we let him sleep on the couch for the night. Next morning when I wentto work he was still sleeping. It was only at about 11am when my daughtercalled and said that he was still sleeping and they could not wake him up, thatwe decided to rush him to hospital. There he lay in virtual coma and underdrips for 3 days and than he came out of the "sleep". The first day after the "awakening" he was totally irrational, but the next day he telephones mefrom the hospital, and talks as though nothing had happened. When asked what hadhappened he told the doctors and us that he could not cope with his new promotionand "wanted to end it all". He claimed that after his promotion he had onlyabout an hours sleep every night". He had taken an overdose of pills after hehad finished jogging, because he "just wanted to sleep". Now he himselflaughed at the incident and told me "Papa, this will never happen again. This is anew Jaganaatha Sai". Anyway he was in hospital for about 10 days. My meetingswith the psychiatrists who were treating him assured me that he was recovering well and he was put under new medication. He became a hero of soughts in theWard, when he helped prevent another patient from trying to commit suicide orhurt himself by trying to cut his wrist with the sharp end of a paper clip. On Thursday 26th Feb. the doctors said he could return home , but not beforehe was asked by the staff to be the master of ceremony of a party that the staffhad put up for all, in conjunction with some holiday event. He even won a prize. I took him home and that night there was a big family outing, dinner etcwith his cousins and he was perfect. On Friday 27th Feb., he came into mybedroom early and joined me in my morning prayers. This was for me a very extraordinary session. He was so good that I showed him how I cleaned theprayer altar every morning so that in case he wanted to help, he could clean it infuture. Than he joined me in the garden and I showed him how I plucked Thulsileaves and flower for prayers. I also showed him ( and he did likewise,) how I chewed Thulsi and Margosa leaves every morning as this was very healthy. Than weprayed together and he sang a bhajan to Lord Subramaniam. He than did LINGAABISHEGAM on the Shivalingam that Baba had materialsed for me with instructions to offer the abishig water to sick people. He drank that water. He also didabisheg on another lingam that had been gifted to him by some elders with 27 invocations of "Om Nama Shivaaya, Om Sai Ram", the mantra that BhagavanBaba had asked me to use when I did the Abishegam on the materaised Shivalingam. Than hetook Padanamaskaar from me and I placed Vhibuthi on his forehead and hugged and kissed his cheeks, assuring him of my Love. When I left for office, hewent over to my Aunts house in front of our home and joined his aunts (my cousins)who had come visiting from Overseas. In fact, they had told me to send himover for he should not be alone at home. They than took him for Friday prayers tothe Ganesha Temple where he participated fully and happily and with great devotion. They came back home for lunch and it was a very happy familygathering. At 3.30 pm he told his aunts that he would like to go for a walk and he wasso perfect that they thought nothing of it, but asked him to be back by 4.30pm, as they did not want him out alone for so long. He insisted on the walk sothey asked him to make it short. At 5.00 pm he had not returned and they became concerned. At about 5.30 p.m., I was still in the office with somemeeting, when I receive a call from my daughter. My son had at about 4.10p.m. (at besttime estimates would have it from those who heard the impact), had jumped off atall building less than half a mile away from my home and had died. He hadtaken his own life! Why he would do this when there was no stress (at least as othersperceived it), when he had enjoyed, for all intents, a perfect and happy day, onlyGod will know. There is a strange irony to these events which has been noted by manypeople. On Tuesday 24th Feb at the weekly Bungsar Sai Centre Bhajan, I read out excerpts from Baba's 2003 Christmas message. When I read that message Iwas doing it to comfort and give courage to some others in the Centre who hadsuffered some family tragedies. This was what I read out: "Whatever man experiences is the creation of the mind. Due to the illusion created by the mind, he establishes relationships and starts saying, myfather, my mother, my wife, my children, etc. This illusion is the ultimate causeof his suffering. When man develops pure and unsullied love, he will not experience pain or suffering. Love for the physical body is false andtransitory.... ....Pleasure and pain are of your own making. They are not given by God.You are the cause of your suffering, none else..... ...Worldly LOVE is transient; it cannot be called love at all. True loveis immortal. You should cultivate such love. Physical body grows and decays.How can you consider it to be real? In fact, nothing in this world is real.Body attachment is the cause of delusion. Hence, gradually reduce your body attachment. This is the most important Sadhana you have to undertake. ...What is the use if you get drowned in delusion more and more with the advancement of age? Do not develop undue attachment to be body andmaterial possessions. Under any circumstances, do not shed tears of sorrow. You will be freefrom sorrow when you give up body attachment." Little did I realize that my Divine Father was preparing me for the events that would confront me on Friday 27th Feb. 04. Bhagavan had said that we should never cry under any circumstances. Ialways try to uphold as best as i can all what Bhagavan says. At the mortuary I maintained HIS instructions and gave comfort to the others who werecrying. But on Sat.28th during the funeral at home and at the crematorium I shamed the Avathar and myself by crying uncontrollably. The only comfort that I coulddraw from the breach of this divine directive was the thought (as equally when Icried uncontrollably when my dear wife passed on), was the thought that "Ramacried when Sita was captured. Rama cried when Lakshmana was wounded in battle. Arjuna cried when his son was killed in battle"...so who am I, an ordinaryaspirant of Divine devotion, not to cry. I cried but also resolved that I will continue to fulfill my Dharma and continue to contribute in my own smallway to the work of the DIVINE MISSION OF THE AVATHAR. Please forgive me for takingyour time with this long message. Even as I write this I realize that this is one way I am psychologically consoling myself and trying to, by putting this narrative on paper, takingit from the frightening recording machine in my mind that seems to be constantly repeating the events of the last few days. Perhaps now the recordingmachine will stop, especially when I try to sleep. To my Beloved Bhagavan and theleaders of the Prashanti council and all the leaders who make up the leadership ofthe International Sai Seva Organization, I give my assurance that the tragic events that has beset my life ( my mother as you all know passed away onthe 29th Nov. 03, the day I left Prashanti Nilayam for home...creating almost an identical situation as when my wife passed on, as I was returning fromPrashanti in Nov. 1996) will in no way diminish my resolve to serve in the DivineMission. I am aware that some in Malaysia and elsewhere, knowing half truths and listening to rumors will judge me harshly for "losing a son" like this,when I have tried to motivate to the highest ideals thousands of Youth round the worldto be ideal sons and daughters. If that happens than that is my fate. If eventhe Avatar is judged harshly, by those who wish to judge and find faults, whoam I to be spared this calumny. In respect of the work of the Sai Organisation, if the Prashanti Council leadership wishes that I serve, as I have done in the past (and as I hadindicated to brother Goldstien in Prashanti in Nov 03), I will do so. Whateverhappens, I will continue to serve in HIS Divine Mission in any small way I can in Malaysia or anywhere else in the world where people feel I can contributeto the Divine Mission of reviving Dharma. Once again please forgive me for thelength of this note and the details I have chosen to include. Another reason,other than the personal psychological one, is that I do not want rumours tospread as they surely will. Some of you may be aware that the anti Sai forces usedthe passing away of my wife as part of their campaign, saying that she had committed suicide etc. Though they were wrong that time, this time it willbe true, but at least by making this incident transparent, hopefully it willforestall any other version. I apologies to Bhagavan and all Sai Devotees and to theSai Leadership if the anti Sai uses this as another tool in their vicious campaign. With Love in my Heart to all! Yours in SAI Jega Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 11, 2004 Report Share Posted March 11, 2004 saibabanews, "Laura" <joydrops@p...> wrote: > Sai Ram Thu, 04 Mar 2004 02:29:47 +0000 Sai Ram, Having Jagadesan as a wonderful guest in our bi-annual national satsang in May 1998 in Austerlitz, Netherlands and worked with him as a National Youth Coordinator, I do want to add my condolances to Jagadesan and wish him all the strength and comfort and may Swami help us all to understand and cope with this very difficult and confronting situation. So my thoughts and light will be with Jega... Sai Ram, Vincent Vincent J M Meulenbroek from a cold (3 deg C) and windy Amsterdam, Netherlands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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