Nealu Mistreatment Quoted

April 5, 2006

After reading this, I don't see how anyone can have the opinion or

simply "guess" that the other earlier swami's "did it all in a past

life".

On the Road to Freedom: A Pilgrimage in India

By Neal Rosner (Swami P)

Pages 183-4

One day I was having a severe migraine headache. I was already weak,

and the severity of the pain completely incapacitated me. I could not

even walk without holding a wall for support. I had taken a powerful

drug to lessen the pain, but this had the effect of increasing the

weakness and causing thirst. In that state, I asked one of the

residents for a glass of water to drink. He looked at me as if I had

asked for a seven-course meal and walked away. I waited for half an

hour, but no water was forthcoming. I then crawled and somehow got it

myself. Unfortunately, my hand was shaking and I spilled some of the

water on the floor. At that time, another of the residents came into

the hut. I asked him for a cloth to wipe up the water. He went out

and came back with a dirty cloth and threw it in my face with a look of

irritation. I felt a bit pained at heart and went to lay down behind

the temple. Ammachi came over to me and asked what was the matter. I

told her what had happened. She said, "You must look upon them as

children. What ever a child may do, one should not feel angry or

hurt, knowing they are ignorant." She then kept quiet and silently sat

with me for some time.

On another occasion, I purchased some pancakes for Mother, thinking

that she might eat them in the morning after the darshan was over. The

shop was only open at night, I got them and put them in a container. I

felt very sleepy, however, so I asked one of the people who would be

awake at that hour to give them to Mother when she came.

"Mother will not eat what you have brought. Don't you know that she

doesn't like pancakes? If you want, you can give them to her

yourself." I had seen her eat pancakes a number of times, and knew

what was said was untrue. I muttered the Name of God to myself and

kept quiet.

It soon became second nature not to mind the way I was treated by

others. In fact, I even started to take a kind of delight in being

abused. I would note clearly whether or not my mind was affected by

the words and try to remain as a witness within, unchanging and calm.

Ratnamji had once told me, "As a devotee, others may praise you and put

you on a pedastal. You may think that you are unaffected by their

praise and even say that it is God in their form who is praising. But

you will know if you are really unaffected by praises only when you

receive the opposite, blame. If one cares not for pain, pleasure also

cannot hold one bound. One should always test onself and be sure that

one is not fooling oneself thinking that pleasant things do not affect

one. Only if you are indifferent to the painful side of life and take

it as God's or Guru's Sweet will, will you not be sidetracked by the

pleasant side of things."

Ammachi, "manoj_menon" <ammademon wrote:

>

> Ammachi, "Tom" <tomgull@> wrote:

> > "According to his autobio", Nealu was mistreated by

> > some of the early ashramites.

> >

> > tom

>

> Hi Tom,

>

> Where in the volumes do you see it written that this happened?

>

> It's been sometime since I re-read them and can't recollect having any

> impression of Nealu Swami being mistreated. do you have page #'s or

> incidents from the book handy? Thanks.

>

> Jai Ma!

>

April 5, 2006

It is these sorts of experiences, the rough and tumble of interpersonal

egos, that seem to define that "razor's edge" quality to the path of the

spiritual seeker.

But to be honest, I recall reading those passages previously and intepreting

them then as evidence of the cultural frontiers separating a "Western"

seeker in an "Indian" or "Keralan" or whatever the corresponding term is.

On a related note, I keep wondering if the perception of reverie you are

ascribing to certain devotees who treat Dayamrita with a degree of respect

you do not share as also a derivation of that ethnological distance (e.g.

:"cultural frontier.").

And I am also remembering a blessed experience Ammachi bestowed upon me

towards the end of Her 1998 San Ramon programs. Swami Ramakrishnananda was

playing bhagans, singing "Hari Bol" actually, and suddenly his physical body

disappeared. In its place stood the glowing form of Lord Rama. And then

almost just as quickly, the vision shifted, and grew to the ceiling, and

there stood the magnificent splendor of Lord Krishna. It was mindblowing.

It was shocking. I can barely remember it, as He was so aglow and my

nervous system is so impure. But it was certainly an inspirational

hallucination, one of a series of cosmic events around Mother that defy easy

definition or narration.

But strangely, more than spiritual heights, the vision worked on the mundane

level. I spent a good portion of the next several years looking intently

into Swamijii's face, sometimes peeking, sometimes staring, sometimes

embarrassed, always wondering wondering wondering: When will I see Krishna

again? When? When?? It became an obsession, one that did not ease until I

went to speak to Mother directly about it.

(She laughed, ran a finger along the bone of my cheek, and said not to be

attached, the Darshans were meant to be inspirational, not held onto like a

fixation. And She told me to "become like a flute and Krishna will come

running." Dayamrita actually was translating for me, and I couldn't

understand the word "flute." I thought he was saying "fool," and had to ask

him to repeat himself several times before comprehension. Not that I have

any idea how to 'become like a flute,' although acting the fool is all to

easy, perhaps why I was so incredulous about what at first I heard him

saying.)

That anecdote is sort of an indirect suggestion, for who know in what ways

Mother/God may have used/worked through Dayamrita as an instrument for

inspiration - and whether the revered status he is accorded by some could be

an extension of that role.

By the way, the New York satsang is holding a special concert on Friday

night, in Flushing, and word went out recently that Dayamrita's schedule now

permits him to attend. Why don't you take the train up from D.C., Tom, and

join us?

It's so easy to hurl pejoratives in the sterile distance of this cyber

sphere. But perhaps all your manifestations of will and intent and what

strike me as hurt feelings and insecurity and sibiling rivalry and siddhic

competition could take on a gentler flavor in the sacred presence of Maha

Ganapati and with the musical invocations to Mata Saraswati. I'm sure if

someone has slighted you in some way that speaking directly to him rather

than, well, I'll call it like I see it... gossiping... could be much more

productive.

And did I just hear right that Mother must be sending y'all in D.C. some

special blessings, especially after last year's ups and downs, by spending

Guru Purnima there??

Warmly,

Prashanti

April 5, 2006

But the point of Sw. Paramatmanandaji (Nealu) sharing this was to show that

these things are the perfect opportunity for real spiritual growth and actually

give a great indication where one is truly at spiritually. If we come to

God/Guru with the desire to grow spiritually, of course things will happen to us

that we might term negative at first or abusive. Even if this is actually true,

it is a great blessing from Guru/Goddess Herself.

Most of us Westerners have this wrongful preconception that once we awake to the

Spiritual Path, it is all comfort and roses after that point. We mostly get

this from the books on Indian spirituality that have been published in the

country for the last 100 yrs or so. These really only typically depict one

small side/part/flavor of Indian Spiritual Traditions and what happens in Them.

The Truth is generally far from this. Just look at the lives of any Saint,

especially Amma, and we can see how much hardship surfaces and must be endured

and overcome.

Jai Maa!

Surya

-

Tom

Ammachi

Wednesday, April 05, 2006 11:36 AM