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Thank you for the prayers. Sanatini

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Dear Sanatini,

Thank you for sharing your story. It was wonderful that you were aware

of Mother's hand in your troubles and clung to Mother.

In the past several years, through reading the stories of others, I have

come to realize that Mother does not fool around. Some

times she really holds our feet to the fire! She is very serious about

Her job of taking us to the goal. She is also serious about

not taking away the karma that can't be taken, but is very compassionate

in that She makes it easier to bear, both by lessening

the suffering, as in the case of your ruptured artery, and by being

there for us, and in the process drawing us very close to Her

as we seek Her for refuge. There are times when She is the only place to go.

I don't know how serious I am about my sadhana, or how serious I am

about reaching the Goal. But when I think of going some

place where She is not, where I don't know Her or of Her, I can't bear

it. And to think that when I met Her so many years ago, I

just thought She was a very nice Indian woman who gave so much of

Herself and worked too hard. My husband kept saying

"She's the real thing, She's the real thing". And I was not serious

about it at all.

There have been times when I have asked Her in person, or in a letter,

or in my heart, to remove whatever separates me from Her,

or to let me want only Her, or to merge with Her, thinking that I really

need this, but am totally unprepared for the ax that falls

shortly thereafter. It's like "Whoa - I didn't mean THAT". I guess our

souls want union with Her, our hearts can't

bear to be without Her, and like touching the hot stove, we have to know

it will be really hard, but we ask anyway and grit

our teeth. And then hang on for the wild ride that follows.

Thank you so much for your kind, encouraging and insightful words. And I

used to think that all of this was window dressing!

Because of Mother, this life has been more difficult, and more wonderful

than I ever imagined it would be. Having Mother in

our hearts is the most wonderful gift the universe can bestow. And for

that my gratitude is endless.

In Amma's Love,

Prasadini

 

sanatani urban wrote:

> Dear Prasadini,

>

> You are not alone. Many fearless (or not so fearless, like me)

> sadhus have tread the same path of Kali destruction and resurrection

> as you are now. Remember Joan of Arc, St. Francis, St. Theresa, St.

> John (who went on to write a very beautiful book on the "Dark night of

> the soul"), and the many stories of the saints of India. The one

> thing they all have in common is their undying love for God, and their

> inevitable suffering (oops..that's two things).

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