Gramma, Food, Guilt

[Guest guest]

Thanks Bela, lovely words you give.

Bela wrote: "I feel guilt at times when I choose to play games online, when I

could be going japa, or puja, praying or meditating, etc."

 

Supriti writes: "I am a former catholic and I know guilt, I used to wear

guilt as a favorite sweater, think guilt, eat guilt, love guilt because I was

taught to by the church and people in the church. The dictionary definition of

guilt is 1) the state of having committed an offense, 2) remorse caused by

feeling responsible for some offence – I have since learned that guilt for me is

a waste of time and energy, it is a deflection off the real issue which, to my

way of thinking, is tuning into the divine source and being in the right spot at

the right time doing the right things. Guilt is not a part of me anymore.

Standing in guilt means I are not doing, not dealing, not living, not loving,

not confronting, not changing. Especially guilt means one is spending time

dogging oneself for thing that happened in the past. My own experience has been

that when I confront issues in the moment, when I decided to do or let it go,

then I no longer have time or energy to stand in guilt.

Guilt is like being in the jail corner on the monopoly game board. As long as

one sits in jail, life outside the jail goes on, other people play around the

jail. The get out of jail card is JUST DO IT or LET GO and LET GOD. Guilt lets

us sit in between DOING and DO NOTHING.

 

Guilt is the enemy to me. I cannot have remorse for the past because it is

gone. What counts is what I am doing now. Guilt involves judging which also

takes a huge amount of energy and time.

 

Feeding myself healthy is a huge issue. Feeding myself with love is a huge

issue. I can cook wonderful meals for other people. I have to make a real

effort to cook and feed myself a lovely meal. I am working on the false belief

that I am not worth being loved by myself. It is buried really deep inside and

the layers have to be peeled off of it for me to change it. Very hard work for

me…not there yet.

 

Gramma story: I was a foster child for many years in one home. One of the

good times was on Sunday morning after church. My “family” would go to Gramma;s

whose name was Greenie. My foster mother was taken in by Greenie because her

father was an alcoholic and the family was a mess, so my foster mother was an

orphan of sorts the same as me. Anyway, Greenie was the lady that took her in

and took me in too. I can remember she was a boisterous woman who didn’t take

stuff from anyone. I can remember the wonderful hugs she gave and she always

smelled of baby powder. She had a huge soft bosom and I remember her hugging me

tight to her heart. She would cook the most wonderful five course breakfasts

for us and when we would walk in out of the rain, it would always steam up my

glasses and smell wonderful – bacon, fried potatoes, scrambled eggs, scratch

biscuits, pancakes, syrup, home made jelly, butter. Her food always tasted

wonderful, I mean really, really wonderful. I mean

really, really, really wonderful. She personifies love for me in the wasteland

that was my head at that time. I trusted her too. That was a big deal, she

would never rat on us, we could talk about anything and trust her to give us the

truth. There was no subject we could not talk about, and usually she would end

up making us laugh about everything. She laughed a lot. She was a rebel woman.

There were rumors that in the twenties she had been a dancer.

 

The River is so beautiful thanks Ananthasree for sharing your wonderful gift."

 

 

 

 

 

Om Namashivaya - In Amma's service,

 

Supriti Omenka Nnadi

 

 

[Guest guest]

Oh, Supriti, your picture of your Greenie is so rich. That we could

all be such vessels of love, service and non-judgment. She is truly

one of our saints. I bet she is dancing in the heaven of her choosing.

 

 

On Jan 18, 2006, at 8:02 AM, Omenka Supriti Nnadi wrote:

 

>

> Thanks Bela, lovely words you give.

>   Bela wrote: "I feel guilt at times when I choose to play games

> online, when I could be going japa, or puja, praying or meditating,

> etc."

>   

>   Supriti writes:  "I am a former catholic and I know guilt, I used

> to wear guilt as a favorite sweater, think guilt, eat guilt, love

> guilt because I was taught to by the church and people in the church. 

> The dictionary definition of guilt is 1) the state of having committed

> an offense, 2) remorse caused by feeling responsible for some offence

> – I have since learned that guilt for me is a waste of time and

> energy, it is a deflection off the real issue which, to my way of

> thinking, is tuning into the divine source and being in the right spot

> at the right time doing the right things.  Guilt is not a part of me

> anymore.  Standing in guilt means I are not doing, not dealing, not

> living, not loving, not confronting, not changing.  Especially guilt

> means one is spending time dogging oneself for thing that happened in

> the past.  My own experience has been that when I confront issues in

> the moment, when I decided to do or let it go, then I no longer have

> time or energy to stand in guilt.

> Guilt is like being in the jail corner on the monopoly game board. 

> As long as one sits in jail, life outside the jail goes on, other

> people play around the jail.  The get out of jail card is JUST DO IT

> or LET GO and LET GOD.  Guilt lets us sit in between DOING and DO

> NOTHING. 

>   

>   Guilt is the enemy to me.  I cannot have remorse for the past

> because it is gone.  What counts is what I am doing now.  Guilt

> involves judging which also takes a huge amount of energy and time. 

>   

>   Feeding myself healthy is a huge issue.  Feeding myself with love

> is a huge issue.  I can cook wonderful meals for other people.  I have

> to make a real effort to cook and feed myself a lovely meal.  I am

> working on the false belief that I am not worth being loved by

> myself.   It is buried really deep inside and the layers have to be

> peeled off of it for me to change it.  Very hard work for me…not there

> yet. 

>   

>   Gramma story: I was a foster child for many years in one home.  One

> of the good times was on Sunday morning after church.  My “familyâ€

> would go to Gramma;s whose name was Greenie.  My foster mother was

> taken in by Greenie because her father was an alcoholic and the family

> was a mess, so my foster mother was an orphan of sorts the same as

> me.  Anyway, Greenie was the lady that took her in and took me in

> too.  I can remember she was a boisterous woman who didn’t take stuff

> from anyone.  I can remember the wonderful hugs she gave and she

> always smelled of baby powder.  She had a huge soft bosom and I

> remember her hugging me tight to her heart.  She would cook the most

> wonderful five course breakfasts for us and when we would walk in out

> of the rain, it would always steam up my glasses and smell wonderful –

> bacon, fried potatoes, scrambled eggs, scratch biscuits, pancakes,

> syrup, home made jelly, butter.  Her food always tasted wonderful, I

> mean really, really wonderful.  I mean

> really, really, really wonderful.  She personifies love for me in the

> wasteland that was my head at that time.  I trusted her too.  That was

> a big deal, she would never rat on us, we could talk about anything

> and trust her to give us the truth.  There was no subject we could not

> talk about, and usually she would end up making us laugh about

> everything.  She laughed a lot.  She was a rebel woman.  There were

> rumors that in the twenties she had been a dancer.

>   

>   The River is so beautiful thanks Ananthasree for sharing your

> wonderful gift."

>   

>

>

>

>

> Om Namashivaya - In Amma's service,

>

> Supriti Omenka Nnadi

>

>

>

>

>

> Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Mata amritanandamayi

>

>

>

>

>

> ▪  Visit your group "Ammachi" on the web.

>  

> ▪  

>  Ammachi

>  

> ▪   Terms of

> Service.

>

>

>

>