Hugs and Updates

[Guest guest]

Namah Shivayah!

 

Some major changes have occurred in my life since the last time I wrote. I was

able to see Amma with my mother in Michigan this November. It was her first time

meeting Amma and she took a mantra and a name. She is really experiencing a

profound awakening; this is a woman who suffered intense abuse as a child, and

as a result battled with anxiety, depression and alchohol/drug addictions for

over twenty years. She is sober, lucid and radiant, full of Ma's grace and love.

She even gave her cigarettes to Amma during Devi Bhava, and Ma was so happy and

giggling and she gave my mom an apple and squeezed us both so tight, it was

great.

 

Ma sort of blew my mind with a suprising psychic insight into this child when I

went up in the question line. I had asked her how to work with dismantling my

patterns of negative thinking, and she said something to me that no one could

have known. She said that it was because of this specific trauma that I had

developed this pattern, and that she would make a special sankalpa for me, but

that I had to work very hard to be aware of when it was arising in me. So it's

been interesting to see how it plays out. There is definitely a lot of grace,

but simultaneously I am being pushed and challenged more than ever.

 

In preparation for my forthcoming move to the Bay Area, I ended my beloved

meditation class with a special twelve-week intensive study of the 12 Divine

Powers. I don't know if any of you are familiar with that, but we began with

Love and ended with Faith, and it was all very sweet and special. I am looking

for a place in the east bay to teach yoga and meditation again, and to give

kirtan (we are moving to San Ramon or somewhere nearby), if anyone knows of a

good place, I would love a recommendation.

 

In San Ramon this November, Anaghan and I asked Amma if she would marry us this

summer, and she said yes! So now we are preparing for this drastic life-change,

moving up from LA, getting new jobs, changing the custody agreement with his ex,

there's just so much happening, but we are very centered in our faith in the

Guru. Amma had told me this summer that I could make this move to be closer to

the ashram, so I feel certain that everything will work out fine. And even

though there is some fear and anxiety where I am lacking in faith, I am doing my

best to observe it carefully and see how it diminishes through the awareness of

it and through the Guru's grace.

 

I have been working about 70 hours each week for the last five weeks, as the

holiday season is a very busy time in the jewelry business, so of course, I let

my sadhana slide somewhat, to the detriment of my peace of mind and tranquility.

I have now come up here to San Jose for a week and a half of solitude and

reflection. I'm eating 80% raw fruits and vegetables, and doing lots of yoga and

meditation. I went to the ashram on Christmas eve, which was very sweet.

Prashanti (Anaghan's six-year old daughter, not the Prashanti of this list!) and

I had a great time making a delicious vegetable dish to bring to the potluck. We

sang bhajans as we cooked, and she was saying "This is all for Amma's children!"

the whole time, it was so sweet! We went ice-skating earlier in the day, and on

the way to the rink we saw a homeless man on the street and she looked at

Anaghan and said, "Papai, Amma wants us to take care of poor people!" So we let

her give him some money, and as she walked away she

said "Now Amma is really happy." I just feel so fortunate to be able to expose

her to a great master like Amma at this age. The depth and innocence of her

devotion is a great teacher for Anaghan and I.

 

I have read and reread and will continue to study Eckhart Tolle's new book "A

New Earth," in the last few months, and I give my highest recommendation to

anyone on a commited spiritual path who is working to eliminate the ego. It is

such an eloquent work, that absolutely compliments Amma's teachings, as well as

the teachings of all faiths and masters, without conflict.

 

So that's the barest details. I really miss being a part of this satsang, but

hopefully I will have more time to share in it from now on. This list has been

such a blessing for me over the years. I will be at the ashram for New Year's

eve, and possibly for the New Year's day retreat.

 

love and hugs,

 

Prajna

 

 

 

 

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