Family approval, etc

[Guest guest]

Namah Shivayah,

 

I have been feeling drawn here and there against my will lately. Forced to deal

with the

more shadowy aspects of myself. Forced to face old habits and ways of thinking.

Forced to

see that life is full of surprises and nothing is as black and white as I

believe it to be.

Forced to watch my own dismantling...and loving every moment of it.

 

I cannot even put a number on how many times, in the past two weeks:

 

I encountered the exact opposite of what I expected. In other words, expecting

the

absolute worst and having it turn out exceedingly well to the point where it was

obvious

Amma was pulling the strings in order to prove a point.

 

Worrying incessantly over several things, turning them over to Amma and then

experiencing the best possible outcome. In one example worrying about getting a

new

car...then all of a sudden, tonight I am gifted a new car by the ONE person I

spent all week

thinking negatively/skeptical about.

 

Worrying how I would be treated by family members who usually treat me

terribly....only to

find myself actually enjoying my conversations with them and feeling wonderful

about the

whole thing.

 

Amma is showing me lessons in spite of my own stubbornness to learn them. Every

day it

is something new. It's as if I am in some giant cosmic game and Amma askes me

every

day: "Dear child, what was the moral of the story today?"

 

This is something entirely new in our relationship. She is challenging me and

showing me

that I indeed know NOTHING and only through her can I learn EVERYTHING....which

is

really NOTHING.

 

Last night, it seems I went into another automatic writing session. When I awoke

this

afternoon I was surprised to find the following on my computer. It makes such

sense to

me, but I am sure it did not come from my mind.

 

Far along the river bend there is a canvas with

A splash of color on the canvas

A splash of light upon the color

A shadow of a bird upon the splash of light

I am the cool wind that blows upon the wings of the bird

That moves the shadow

That shifts the light upon the color

That changes the color on the canvas into the color of the landscape

And the illusion is no more.

The canvas is you

The color is your personality or sense of self

The light is your true nature of love

The bird is your mind

The shadow of the bird is your ego.

The wind is God.

 

I wanted to share these recent experiences, because for me, many of them related

to the

Family Approval conversations we have been having. Would you believe, that after

so much

worrying, it turned out to be the best family gathering ever and entirely stress

free?

 

In fact, I would venture to say, for the first time in my life I actually

enjoyed having a

conversation with my father. It was as if Amma struck him with her shakti...he

was an

entirely different person. It was almost comical what a complete turn around was

taking

place, and I found myself laugh a bit and say to myself, "OK Amma I get it!"

 

Something very funny happened too. There was this one uncle I was stressed

about. This

is

the Uncle who always puts bigoted, your-gonna-burn-in-hell literature in my

Christmas

card. Well, I was all riled up thinking of a million kind or notsokind things I

would say

when he gave me that Christmas card. I imagined myself kindly explaining to him

how this

offended me and on and on. I was creating a million scenarios in my monkey mind

about

how I was going to solve this problem once and for all.

 

Well, he forgot to give me a Christmas card this year. Nothing, Nada. Zip. And

this was the

first time in my 28 years he did not give me one. He is also the one who helped

orchestrate getting me the car.

 

I am sure Amma is having a good chuckle over that one!

 

So, I am hoping other peoples experiences turned out much better than they

thought too.

With a little bit of patience, intuition and humility....we can see that the

lessons are all

around us....we just need to recognize them...and when we do...how AMAZING!!!

 

May mother embrace you all with her all-encompassing eyes!

 

Filled With Bliss,

 

Ananthasree

 

http://www.ammaschildren.com