Digest Number 1840

[Guest guest]

Ananthasree wrote:

 

>> I am curious to know how my brothers and sisters here on the list deal

when the question

>> of Amma is posed by family members, sometimes in a not so understanding

manner. I >> ask because #1 the holidays are coming up, and some of us may

have to interact more >> with distant relatives than we do at other times of

the

year and #2 I have personally had a

>> disheartening experience recently with a family member over the question

of Amma. The

>> family member in question was so incredibly rude and judgemental of Amma,

and of

>> course I took it personally and even began to question maintaining

contact with that

>> person any longer.

 

>> So, please share your stories of how best we might explain Amma to the

self-righteous

>> Christian at the Christmas dinner table who wants to know who the Indian

lady hanging

>> from a charm around our neck is, or what the rudrashka bead is, or the

mala.

 

>> Last year, I received a Christmas card from an Uncle. Inside the card

were several

>> religous pamphlets. One pamphlet featured a list of every world religion

on the front. Every >> religion had an "X" through it except for

Christianity. Then, when I opened the pamphlet, I >> was informed that I would

be going

to hell if I practiced any other religion but for

>> Christianity....

>> My personal problem sits in the fact that I cannot "let it slide" when

someone close to me

> > says something negative about my Mother. My immediate reaction is to act

like a Mama

b>> ear whose children are being threatened.

 

Dear Ananthsree ~ I very much identify with what you are expressing here,

although in my case, the severing of family ties and negativities occurred for

a different reason. I have been very candid in this group, and have always

met with acceptance, so I will be candid again. I experienced something similar

to what you mention when, over 20 years ago, I was "outed" by my sister to

my family as being gay. (Of course, then you'd think they'd be overcome with

joy when I got together with a man. What I learned was the gender of the

partner doesn't matter; the issues and problems are the same.) My mother

lectured

me about Adam and Eve, and if God had meant women to be with women ... etc.

.... to vulgar to repeat here. I was shunned, similarly to what I have been

experiencing over the past several years because my mother and stepfather don't

like Doug. My stepfather is jealous ... a whole other story. My mother is

just nuts; it is completely impossible to understand or predict her behavior or

reactions.

 

Over the course of time, I learned to not be quite so blatant, and over

time, my family appeared to accept me, even coming to visit me and my partner or

inviting us for Christmas. But when I moved in with my mother, I discovered

all this was a sham. My stepfather immediately began making vulgar,

discriminative statements about gays. I thought, OMG, is this how he has

thought of me

all these years. It may also explain his inappropriate interest in me, as

there is a huge myth that all gay women need is a good roll in the hay with the

right man to be "cured."

 

For me, it was an evolution, as all things in my life have been. Before that

I was married twice (to men). Now I have been with Doug for 6 years. In some

regard, I think my mother and stepfather's overenthusiam to get me to move

to Oregon and live with them had a different agenda than the one they gave me:

to help me out because I was so sick. At one point,

I said I would go, then I changed my mind. The 5 page hate letter I got from

my sister made me ill. She talked about a lot of things, but foremost was my

"perverted lifestyle." And never had she told me honestly her feelings. And

then, of course, I went ... and most people know what happened to me as a

result.

 

My mother has been to see Amma and Shree Maa ... so there is not the

unacceptance on that issue, but what I relate to is pulling out the "bible"

card,

and the "hell" card. These are some of the reasons I left the Catholic Church

so many years ago. I would suggest to ask yourself the question, what would

Amma do? She wouldn't change who She is, and of course, it would be very

obvious because She'd be in her whites. But I don't think She'd be blatant about

it. It seems to me that Amma, except sometimes with Her devotees when She is

trying to help rid us of our vasanas, if She didn't ordinarily wear whites,

would not put them on. Do you understand? You may decide to wear your Amma

pendant on the inside of your clothing, next to your heart. Amma will be there,

but they don't have to know. On the other hand, it has become clear to me that

if people, one's family, or anyone stands in the way of one's spirituality,

puts it down, puts you down, puts Amma down, trys to make you feel bad about

yourself, etc., you may indeed have to make a choice to not have any contact

with these people. This is painful as I well know.

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Namaste:

 

I live in the Bible belt and have not encountered any problems explaining

Amma. Also, my mother in law is a strict Cathloic and she wanted to go with me

to

attend a darshan and it was beautiful.

Here is what I say to friends, family and patients at work.

 

I explain that Amma is a very advanced spiritual person. That I do not want

them to think I am being blastmous (spell??) that when I go and see Amma the

Bible comes to life for me. That I see all of Jesus's words and life in action.

I say this with a lot of love in my heart. I explain that she offers free

medical service and builds homes for widows, etc etc, and this inspires me to be

more Christ like in my giving and serviing others.

 

I explain that one of the ways she helps others is that she hugs them and

calls everyone her children. I let them know that I have personally witnessed

her

sit for more than 9 hours hugging people with the same smile and love and

care. That you can ask her questions and ask for a personal prayer from her.

That

when you are hugged by her you can feel Divine Christ Love around her and

smell sweet rose smells. I stay very simple and sweet when speaking of her and

with a lot of love in my heart.

 

I explain that being in her presence and seeing a woman giving such love and

care to people in the world without asking for a dime helps me as a woman

relate better to walking a spiritual path. That I love Jesus but for some reason

watching another woman walk a path of Divine Love and Compassion and do

everything that Jesus did has helped me.

 

That Love & Compassion is so important to me that I dont care that I dont

understand all the beautiful devotional music being sung and I dont care if she

is showing her love through the Hindu path. So, each year, I go and spend

spiritual retreat with her and I pray and meditate and cry and bring all my

problems to her to help me understand and heal and become a better person. So I

can

return and love/serve people more.

 

I usually do not go into the unbelievable profound spiritual experiences I

have had with her which are beyond words. Or talk about my entire life

transforming since meeting her. I stay very light and simple with truth as I

experience

it.

 

I have always experienced a very positive response when I speak of her

explaining from my heart meeting people at where they are at instead of where I

am

at.

 

I prayed for Amma to give me the words because I am here to serve not to be

crucified. She has never let me down in guiding me with what to say to people.

 

I Loves Service

malati

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Linda wrote:

 

You may decide to wear your Amma pendant on the inside of your clothing,

next to your heart. Amma will be there, but they don't have to know. On the

other hand, it has become clear to me that if people, one's family, or

anyone stands in the way of one's spirituality, puts it down, puts you

down, puts Amma down, trys to make you feel bad about yourself, etc., you

may indeed have to make a choice to not have any contact with these people.

This is painful as I well know.

 

Dearest Linda & all,

 

First and foremost - Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! I wish all of you

the best, now and forever!

 

Linda, you really hit home with the above statement. My family, overall,

has never approved of any of my decisions in life. I'm always thought of at

the black sheep. I've never been a conformist - I do what I feel is right

(not what everyone else is doing), I wear what I like (not what is in

style), etc. Conformists and people who lean more towards being judgemental

of others see these types of people as attention-seekers, bad seeds, black

sheep, or rebels.

 

I recall back several months ago, when I started thinking about the

possibility of me being able to attend Amma's Detroit-area program this

year. I was asking my dad about the area around Detroit (we are orig. from

Michigan and he is has been to Detroit several times). They started getting

curious and were asking why I was asking about the area. I told them

simply, "My guru is going to be traveling there in November". Both of them

rolled their eyes... then made some mumbled comment about it being some guy

I'd met on the internet. Calmly I said, "No, Amma is a woman", then I

simply walked into the other room.

 

I've learned not to be open with my parents. It's not that I fear them

outing me or judging me - they do that on their own without any help from

me. I just don't feel like hearing the negativity that will flow from their

lips. If they outed me, I'd shake their hands and tell them it was their

loss, not mine. If anyone were to ever out me for reasons that did no harm

to them, I'd feel the same way. It's their loss, not mine.

 

Love should always prevail. Whether it be dealing with friends, family, or

spouses/partners. Anytime anyone wants to out you, or disown you over a

personal choice you make, I think it is siply ridiculous and close-minded.

I could understand if it was something that caused harm to them or their

loved ones (such as phsyically abusing someone), but something like

sexuality, religion, lifestyle? I'm always baffled when this happens. In

my mind it's so simple - if you love someone, TRULY and UNCONDITIONALLY love

them, how could you ever toss them aside simply because they are different

than you? Diversity is what makes us all so unique and interesting... we

should welcome more of it into our lives, not abolish it.

 

Personally, I don't openly talk about being Hindu or an Amma devotee with my

family. They know that I am "not Christian", but further than that, if they

want to know what I believe in, they can ask me. I was never brought up

with any religion when I was growing up. My parents are the type that claim

to be Christian, but in 29 years, the only time they've ever been to church

are for weddings and funerals. As I grew older and more curious, I began

studying as many of the world's religions as I could. I can remember my mom

seeing some of my Wicca books and making some pretty nasty remarks on them

at one point in time. One of them being, "You don't want Yana {my daughter}

going to school and telling people you're a witch".

 

Most people who are quick to out someone or disown them are more concerned

about what other people will think of them. You have to really pity someone

in that state, where they can't even unconditionally love someone without

being concerned with how they will be viewed. Parents worry that people

will see them as bad parents for bringing up a child that turned out to be

gay, goth, a witch, an unwed pregnant teen, and so on. Siblings can end up

feeling the same way - they don't want people comparing them to their "bad

sibling".

 

A lof of it is about control. They don't like not being able to have any

control or say-so about what you are doing, the choices you are making.

They know they will not be able to change your mind. This frustrates them,

angers them, and they don't want to admit defeat. A lot of these types of

relationships can improve with time apart - either moving away from your

family, or simply staying away from them. I'm not saying that running away

is the answer, nor would be up and mving away without planning or any other

desire to move, than to be away from them... but it sometimes helps. I plan

on moving to Canada when I am able to, several years on down the road.

Many, many reasons for this, but one of them is to be further away from my

parents, who live in the same town as me presently. I just don't like

dealing with them on a daily basis, and we get along a lot better when we

don't have to be in such close contact.

 

All in all - do what is most comfortable for you. No one can assess your

individual situation, as we all have different people surrounding us,

different things expected of us, and so many other variables. But never let

anyone put you down for being different than what they are. It doesn't mean

you have to become enfuriated if they do... but simply let them know that

you are who you are... and if they can't unconditionally love you, then it

is their loss.

 

Jai Ma and her love for us ALL...

 

¸..• ´¨¨)) -:¦:-

¸.•´ .•´¨¨))

((¸¸.•´ ..•´ -:¦:- ..::Brightest Blessings::..

-:¦:- ((¸¸.•´.¸..•` ..::Bela::..

 

"Like nectar in the fresh morning flower, let goodness fill you. The heart

that unfolds all its petals spreading the fragrance of goodness is the

choicest offering at the altar of God" - Amma

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

very beautifully put.

 

Thanks for being clear and bringing as much clarity as possible to

others.

 

Jai Ma!

 

Ammachi, feelbetterocala@a... wrote:

>

> Namaste:

>

> I live in the Bible belt and have not encountered any problems

explaining

> Amma. Also, my mother in law is a strict Cathloic and she wanted

to go with me to

> attend a darshan and it was beautiful.

> Here is what I say to friends, family and patients at work.

>

> I explain that Amma is a very advanced spiritual person. That I do

not want

> them to think I am being blastmous (spell??) that when I go and

see Amma the

> Bible comes to life for me. That I see all of Jesus's words and

life in action.

> I say this with a lot of love in my heart. I explain that she

offers free

> medical service and builds homes for widows, etc etc, and this

inspires me to be

> more Christ like in my giving and serviing others.

>

> I explain that one of the ways she helps others is that she hugs

them and

> calls everyone her children. I let them know that I have

personally witnessed her

> sit for more than 9 hours hugging people with the same smile and

love and

> care. That you can ask her questions and ask for a personal prayer

from her. That

> when you are hugged by her you can feel Divine Christ Love around

her and

> smell sweet rose smells. I stay very simple and sweet when

speaking of her and

> with a lot of love in my heart.

>

> I explain that being in her presence and seeing a woman giving

such love and

> care to people in the world without asking for a dime helps me as

a woman

> relate better to walking a spiritual path. That I love Jesus but

for some reason

> watching another woman walk a path of Divine Love and Compassion

and do

> everything that Jesus did has helped me.

>

> That Love & Compassion is so important to me that I dont care that

I dont

> understand all the beautiful devotional music being sung and I

dont care if she

> is showing her love through the Hindu path. So, each year, I go

and spend

> spiritual retreat with her and I pray and meditate and cry and

bring all my

> problems to her to help me understand and heal and become a better

person. So I can

> return and love/serve people more.

>

> I usually do not go into the unbelievable profound spiritual

experiences I

> have had with her which are beyond words. Or talk about my entire

life

> transforming since meeting her. I stay very light and simple with

truth as I experience

> it.

>

> I have always experienced a very positive response when I speak of

her

> explaining from my heart meeting people at where they are at

instead of where I am

> at.

>

> I prayed for Amma to give me the words because I am here to serve

not to be

> crucified. She has never let me down in guiding me with what to

say to people.

>

> I Loves Service

> malati

>

>

>

>