To premarupa on Conversation Guidelines

[Guest guest]

premarupa wrote:

 

>> Pranams to all the siblings in Amma participating in this converation.

>> This child is especially grateful for how Amma is being brought into it,

to

>> inspire us and keep us moving toward the Love She¹s showing us we all

really

>> are.

 

>> The YWCA¹s Racial Justice Initiative regularly conducts conversations on

>> race using these guidelines:

 

>> * What you share within the context of the conversation is confidential,

>> honored and respected...

 

 

>> I grew up on the predominately Hispanic north valley of Albuquerque.

>> Regarding terms: in those days the term was not ³Hispanic², it was

>> ³Mexican², even though all our neighbors had been living there as citizens

>> for many generations. In third grade my best friends were Thelma Pablo, a

>> Navajo who grew up to be Miss Indian America, Joan Walker, a gringa who¹s

>> father abused her and who grew up to commit suicide...My first awareness

of

>> privilege came when I encountered ³the country club set² at the Jr. High.

>> Without realizing it, I started to associate happiness with material

>> abundance.

 

>> Since becoming more aware of privilege issues in the past few years, I can

>> now see that as a kid in the North Valley of Albuquerque I enjoyed the

>> privilege of being a gringa and having a mother with a college education.

>> Our grade school principal and my fourth grade teacher were Hispanic. All

my

>> other teachers were gringos. The gringos got more attention. The gringos

>> were put on college tracks. One of us became a lawyer. One of us became a

>> veterinarian. What if Mary Lou had been a gringa? What if I¹d been

Hispanic?

 

 

 

Dear premarupa ~ thank you so much for sharing the YWCA's guidelines for

talking on this topic. Actually, they seem like just basic decent human

guidelines for talking about anything. And thank you for sharing your personal

experience. When Doug and I were traveling through New Mexico, looking for where

we

wanted to live, we got a real education about some of this. We were in a

gallery. The owner looked Hispanic, spoke with a Hispanic accent, and a lot of

the art seemed to be by Hispanic artists. As soon as I mentioned the word

"Hispanic," as I was complementing one of the art works, she puffed up, you

could

see it visibly. Then, not in a bad way, she made it very clear to us that

she was not Hispanic, that she was of Spanish descent. After we got out of the

gallery, we knocked ourselves on the head ... how could we have been so dumb.

But we just hadn't been exposed to this before, and it also spoke to a whole

different level of what I think would more accurately be characterized as

classism. For us gringos, we've learned to call "MexicansHispanics." But in

the process, I think most of us, especially those not from this area just

never really remembered that, yes, it was the Spanish conquestedors who tore

through Mexico and what is now the SW and part of the West United States.

 

On the other hand, my stepfather, who can be very crude is very racist about

Mexicans. I just remembered this from when I first moved out to live with my

mom and stepdad. He was always saying the word, "Mexicans," like it was a

swear word. He'd talk about "wetbacks." He continuously warned me about "Mexican

drivers." One day, in the car with my stepdad and mom, his anti Mexican

diatribe pushed me to the point of no return. I said, as politely as I could,

"Could we please stop talking about this?" He didn't get the message, so I had

to be more specific. Referring back to your conversation guidelines, I was

trying to be very respectful while communicating my feelings. But my stepfather

didn't care about my feelings. He is very stubborn and got his back up. I

said, "what you are saying is hurting me," and I started to cry, hating the

weakness in myself. He was mad at me and didn't speak to me the rest of the way

home. With my mom and stepfather, it is more important to be right than to

listen. Thank God/dess for all of you. Sorry, didn't mean to stray from the

subject. Blessings ~ Linda