Guest guest Posted December 3, 2005 Report Share Posted December 3, 2005 Suprita wrote: As many of you know, I am a survivor of severe abuse. I have been in therapy for some time. I recently began some work that deals with dissociative personalities inside - I am talking publicly to you, my brothers and sisters because I don't want to be a secret anymore...The personalities (my tribe)inside all have names - like Poorme, Bette, Newborn, Playdumb, Liar, Thief, Mary Jean, Worker, etc. Kali Yaga the Wolf is the leader of my tribe. My tribe members are also known as constructs. - Here is what happened at the Michigan retreat for us. ....During the retreat here in Michigan with Amma, I was all Worker most of the time. Worker is happy and tireless and very giving. On the first day that Amma came, Poor Me was clamoring for attention, saying how she had missed Amma and was so broken and needed Amma to pay attention to her. Kali Yaga (a wolf mother) listened carefully to her and said, "Come and lay on my soft furry belly and get warm. You are cold from being sad and giving your power away to depression and grief. Know that I am with you and Amma loves you all the time, even when you cry and moan and despair." Kali Yaga began to sing this lullaby. Come lay your head Here on the warm soft Belly of your Amma She is singing softly To you in sweet tones Comforting every nerve And stroking your tears >From your cheek Come lay your head Here on the peaceful universe contained in Amma's arms, She Loves every cell of Your being. Sleep peacefully, Knowing you are Loved. Poorme cuddled with Kali Yaga and went to sleep. Soon others began to gather near Kali Yaga to get warm and feel Amma's love and grace. While Worker was working Newborn was carried gently to Kali Yaga's warm fur belly by Dancer and Afraid of Everything. The Poet announced that everyone was invited to the Haven to sit and be warm with Kali Yaga. As we all cuddled in together the warmth of Amma's love began to enfold us all. We sat and watched Amma with wonder. Dear Supriti ~ I am very glad you have decided not to keep your secrets anymore...and that you trusted our online "family" enough to share your helpers with you. You call them constructs; I call them helpers. I don't have multiple personality disorder, but I do have dissociative identity disorder ... both of these are at different points along a continuum of ways that those who were abused survived. And we are a very creative bunch. The poem that Kali Yaga sang to the others was so beautiful; it touched me deeply. The first time I dissociated was when I was 2 1/2. I was being sexually abused. Hawk, one of my helpers, came that day and lifted me up from the bed and then dive bombed the abuser over and over. Hawk is my Protector. I have never had different "people" inside me, but I have had this ability to go away (dissociate), to go into a trance state ... and in my 20's the context I put all this in was shamanism. I had already gotten reacquainted with Hawk, and then I met Wolf (my communicator and transporter), Deer (the sweet and trusting one who is a bit shy) and Horse (my healer). Some years later I met my two spirit guides, White Buffalo Woman and Rainbow Peacebringer, a man. Some of the visionary experiences I have had over the years have been very healing to me. So thank you again for your candor, and know you are not alone. Jai Ma ~ Linda P.S. Once during a phone reading with a psychic, Kalika, who had been blessed by Mother to do these readings, I "saw" a truncated pyramid, very very big. At the top were all my Animal Helpers, my Guides, and Amma. Amma was on the left side, visually, to me, the right side of the pyramid. They were all having a great time up there, laughing and kicking their feet or hooves or paws back and forth like a bunch of kids. Then Amma smiled at me and swept Her arm in an arc to indicate She was including all the others. The She told me, "I am all of these." It was wonderful to know ... though my Helpers appear in symbolic forms that hold special meaning to me, it is really all Mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2005 Report Share Posted December 4, 2005 THANKYOU MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER. >nierika >Ammachi >Ammachi > Re: To Supriti on not keeping secrets >Sat, 3 Dec 2005 21:55:16 EST > >Suprita wrote: > >As many of you know, I am a survivor of severe abuse. I have been in >therapy for some time. I recently began some work that deals with >dissociative >personalities inside - I am talking publicly to you, my brothers and >sisters >because I don't want to be a secret anymore...The personalities (my >tribe)inside all have names - like Poorme, Bette, Newborn, Playdumb, Liar, >Thief, Mary >Jean, Worker, etc. Kali Yaga the Wolf is the leader of my tribe. My tribe >members are also known as constructs. - Here is what happened at the >Michigan >retreat for us. > >...During the retreat here in Michigan with Amma, I was all Worker most of >the time. Worker is happy and tireless and very giving. > >On the first day that Amma came, Poor Me was clamoring for attention, >saying >how she had missed Amma and was so broken and needed Amma to pay attention >to her. Kali Yaga (a wolf mother) listened carefully to her and said, >"Come >and lay on my soft furry belly and get warm. You are cold from being sad >and >giving your power away to depression and grief. Know that I am with you >and >Amma loves you all the time, even when you cry and moan and despair." >Kali >Yaga began to sing this lullaby. > >Come lay your head >Here on the warm soft >Belly of your Amma > >She is singing softly >To you in sweet tones >Comforting every nerve >And stroking your tears >From your cheek > >Come lay your head >Here on the peaceful >universe contained in >Amma's arms, She >Loves every cell of >Your being. > >Sleep peacefully, >Knowing you are >Loved. > >Poorme cuddled with Kali Yaga and went to sleep. Soon others began to >gather near Kali Yaga to get warm and feel Amma's love and grace. While >Worker >was working Newborn was carried gently to Kali Yaga's warm fur belly by >Dancer >and Afraid of Everything. The Poet announced that everyone was invited to >the Haven to sit and be warm with Kali Yaga. As we all cuddled in >together the >warmth of Amma's love began to enfold us all. We sat and watched Amma >with >wonder. >Dear Supriti ~ I am very glad you have decided not to keep your secrets >anymore...and that you trusted our online "family" enough to share your >helpers >with you. You call them constructs; I call them helpers. I don't have >multiple >personality disorder, but I do have dissociative identity disorder ... both >of these are at different points along a continuum of ways that those who >were > abused survived. And we are a very creative bunch. The poem that Kali >Yaga >sang to the others was so beautiful; it touched me deeply. > >The first time I dissociated was when I was 2 1/2. I was being sexually >abused. Hawk, one of my helpers, came that day and lifted me up from the >bed and >then dive bombed the abuser over and over. Hawk is my Protector. I have >never >had different "people" inside me, but I have had this ability to go away >(dissociate), to go into a trance state ... and in my 20's the context I >put all >this in was shamanism. I had already gotten reacquainted with Hawk, and >then >I met Wolf (my communicator and transporter), Deer (the sweet and trusting >one who is a bit shy) and Horse (my healer). Some years later I met my two >spirit guides, White Buffalo Woman and Rainbow Peacebringer, a man. Some >of the >visionary experiences I have had over the years have been very healing to >me. >So thank you again for your candor, and know you are not alone. Jai Ma ~ >Linda P.S. Once during a phone reading with a psychic, Kalika, who had >been >blessed by Mother to do these readings, I "saw" a truncated pyramid, very >very >big. At the top were all my Animal Helpers, my Guides, and Amma. Amma was >on >the left side, visually, to me, the right side of the pyramid. They were >all >having a great time up there, laughing and kicking their feet or hooves or >paws back and forth like a bunch of kids. Then Amma smiled at me and swept >Her >arm in an arc to indicate She was including all the others. The She told >me, >"I am all of these." It was wonderful to know ... though my Helpers appear >in >symbolic forms that hold special meaning to me, it is really all Mother. > > > > > > > _______________ FREE pop-up blocking with the new MSN Toolbar – get it now! http://toolbar.msn.click-url.com/go/onm00200415ave/direct/01/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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