To temba on on my concern about tokens and being able to see Amma

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/29/2005 5:14:38 A.M. Mountain Standard Time,

Ammachi writes:

 

to my dear sister linda.i am glad that you didnt get offended.it was in my

heart to share with you.i am now at the ashram in this beautiful

enviroment.i am blessed for that,but i am back on that plane and will be

back in the ghettos of chicago...however i have

MOTHER. THERE IS SOMEONE WORSE OF THEN ME SOMWHERE AND MY HEART CRYS FOR

THEM,BECAUSE I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS.you do to.i know you do.i feel your hurt

as well.that seperation from our MOTHER IS INTENSE.I KNOW HOW IT FEELS JUST

WANTING TO SEE HER FACE ON A PICTURE AND NOT BEING ABLE TO.I FEEL YOU MY

SISTER,but as MOTHER says longing for HER IS fine,however we must be

fearless.our fear blocks the flow of HER LOVE AND GRACE.being greatful opens

that gate of grace right back up.YOU ARE FEARLESS MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER.YOU

ARE BEAUTIFUL WITHIN AND WITHOUT.IF YOUR MIND SAYS SOMETHING ELSE IT IS

LYING TO YOU.THERE IS KNOW WAY YOU COULD BE LESS THEN THAT BEING A CHILD OF

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ,MATA AMRITANDAMAYI.namah shivaya.

 

 

 

 

Dear temba ~ thank you again. Your words touched me deeply, and I am still

crying. Yes, I am sad to be separated from Amma and I want to see Her again.

But the deeper pain that the separation from Amma symbolizes and brings up is

feeling that my birth mother doesn't love me. I didn't live like you did, but

I was abused my whole life, and then when I was sick and my mother and

stepfather took me in, it was like it started all over...not so dramatic, but

head

games, and anger and withdrawal of affection, and then they took advantage of

my dependence on them and manipulated me out of $55,000 of my inheritance.

 

So I am living in a trailer, and I am grateful to have a place to live, but

the sicker I become, the harder it is to live in such a confined place. I am

too sick to work, so I can't go out and work to change my circumstances as I

could when I was younger and before I got sick. Today, I am sitting here

typing with frozen fiingers because I have the heat turned off so I won't run

out

of propane while Doug, my hubby, is away on business for a few days.

 

And the pain and confusion of having people tell you they love you, and I

know that, in their terms, they really believe that, but yet treat you in this

manner has brought up all the unresolved pain of my childhood. I know my only

true Mother is Amma, but my own mother is dying, and I feel terrible grief

that all of this is unresolved and there is nothing I can do because if I were

to bring it up, I would be the bad seed all over again. The irony is that my

father, who was the most abusive, I was able to resolve with him before he

died, and we had several years of a real father/daughter relationship, the best

we were both capable of. For that I am eternally grateful. Jai Jai Ma ~

Linda

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

thankyou for sharing that with your brother.it is true that our love can be

tainted.and though the details of our lives are different as MOTHER says we

all long for the same thing.TRUE LOVE.my mother use to have me buy weed for

her at 13 years old and then she would kick me out.i would be sleeping in

the hallway and would see her boyfriend coming up the stairs to sleep in

what i thought was my home.i have forgiven my mother . at some point as a

teemager the inner AMMA reminded me that her soul was sick.she use to tell

me that she wish she had of aborded me and flushed me..when i got older i

just wanted her to say that she was sorry for what she had done.i realized

that she may never do this.it has effected my growth,however it has also

enabled ,me to be more sypathetic towards other peoples pain.i am glad that

it happened.it has allowed me to love on a deeper level.WE ARE STRONGER

WITHIN THEN WE THINK.AMMA IS WITHIN US THROUGH US AND AROUND US.AMMA HAS

BROUGHT JOY INSIDE OF OUR TEARS.YOUR PAIN IS THE SAME AS MINE MY DEAR SISTER

LINDA.WE ARE ONE.THE DETAILS MAY BE DIFFERENT BUT IN ESSENCE IT IS ALL THRE

SAME.i have so much admiration for your courage and you are inspiring your

brother in ways that you may not be aware of.we are now more deeply

installed in each others hearts.THAT IS AMMAs GREAT HEART WORK.love,your

brother themba

 

 

>nierika

>Ammachi

>Ammachi

> Re: To temba on on my concern about tokens and being

>able to see Amma

>Tue, 29 Nov 2005 10:44:31 EST

>

>

>In a message dated 11/29/2005 5:14:38 A.M. Mountain Standard Time,

>Ammachi writes:

>

>to my dear sister linda.i am glad that you didnt get offended.it was in my

>heart to share with you.i am now at the ashram in this beautiful

>enviroment.i am blessed for that,but i am back on that plane and will be

>back in the ghettos of chicago...however i have

>MOTHER. THERE IS SOMEONE WORSE OF THEN ME SOMWHERE AND MY HEART CRYS FOR

>THEM,BECAUSE I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS.you do to.i know you do.i feel your

>hurt

>as well.that seperation from our MOTHER IS INTENSE.I KNOW HOW IT FEELS

>JUST

>WANTING TO SEE HER FACE ON A PICTURE AND NOT BEING ABLE TO.I FEEL YOU MY

>SISTER,but as MOTHER says longing for HER IS fine,however we must be

>fearless.our fear blocks the flow of HER LOVE AND GRACE.being greatful

>opens

>that gate of grace right back up.YOU ARE FEARLESS MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER.YOU

>ARE BEAUTIFUL WITHIN AND WITHOUT.IF YOUR MIND SAYS SOMETHING ELSE IT IS

>LYING TO YOU.THERE IS KNOW WAY YOU COULD BE LESS THEN THAT BEING A CHILD

>OF

>THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ,MATA AMRITANDAMAYI.namah shivaya.

>

>

>

>

>Dear temba ~ thank you again. Your words touched me deeply, and I am still

>crying. Yes, I am sad to be separated from Amma and I want to see Her

>again.

>But the deeper pain that the separation from Amma symbolizes and brings up

>is

>feeling that my birth mother doesn't love me. I didn't live like you did,

>but

>I was abused my whole life, and then when I was sick and my mother and

>stepfather took me in, it was like it started all over...not so dramatic,

>but head

>games, and anger and withdrawal of affection, and then they took advantage

>of

>my dependence on them and manipulated me out of $55,000 of my inheritance.

>

>So I am living in a trailer, and I am grateful to have a place to live, but

>the sicker I become, the harder it is to live in such a confined place. I

>am

>too sick to work, so I can't go out and work to change my circumstances as

>I

>could when I was younger and before I got sick. Today, I am sitting here

>typing with frozen fiingers because I have the heat turned off so I won't

>run out

>of propane while Doug, my hubby, is away on business for a few days.

>

>And the pain and confusion of having people tell you they love you, and I

>know that, in their terms, they really believe that, but yet treat you in

>this

>manner has brought up all the unresolved pain of my childhood. I know my

>only

>true Mother is Amma, but my own mother is dying, and I feel terrible grief

>that all of this is unresolved and there is nothing I can do because if I

>were

>to bring it up, I would be the bad seed all over again. The irony is that

>my

>father, who was the most abusive, I was able to resolve with him before he

>died, and we had several years of a real father/daughter relationship, the

>best

>we were both capable of. For that I am eternally grateful. Jai Jai Ma ~

>Linda

>

>

>

>

 

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