To Bela

[Guest guest]

Dear Bela,

I am so sorry that you are having health problems, and I hope that they

turn out to be not too serious. I surely can understand that the

emotions connected to these problems can throw a person for a loop. And,

yes, it is wonderful to have Mother's feet to hold on to.

I don't know if you know about our prayer list - Linda does the prayer

list seva and posts

the prayer list at the end of the week. Her email address, if you don't

have it is:

nierika

Blessings to you, and may you have smooooooth ride for a long time.

Prasadini

 

Bela Gaytan wrote:

 

>I also love that question!

> During this entire time of my darkness... I never once visited the Amma

>website or looked at anything online dealing with Amma. I have none of

>Amma's books or such... perhaps if I did, I would have returned to her side

>sooner. But I had one small magnet on my refrigerator that a sweet CoL

>writer made for me. It's a wooden heart shape, with a small photo of Amma in

>the center. Many times I would smile seeing it... kiss it (her)... while at

>other times, it would bring me tears to see it, for so many reasons.

>Sometimes I felt horrible for not staying close to her, other times I

>wondered why all of my problems were allowed to worsen... I'd sometimes see

>no end to the misery.

> I am so sorry to hear about your health, dear. I hope and pray that you are

>well and in as much comfort as is possible. Thank you for your compliment on

>my name, and for the well wishes.

> I go to yet another specialist on Tuesday and hopefully they can make some

>sort of conclusion... and begin to take action. I need surgery, but I am

>severely anemic at this point, and surgery is considered to be more of an

>elective option, since my condition is not life-threatening. I've been

>taking iron pills and still my blood volume decreases. They's already let me

>know that I am at increased risk for uterine and ovarian cancer (I have

>numerous very large cysts and/or tumors on both ovaries at the moment), and

>now they are telling me that I am displaying some of the classic signs of

>colon cancer. It's so frightening... and I think part of me returning to

>Amma is knowing that there is no way I can handle this on my own. The

>emotional stress of all of this, and feeling helpless... thinking of cancer,

>and my mind running wild with all of the different possibilities... it was

>hurting me more than the physical pain and discomfort.

> I have a lot of people praying for me, and I firmly believe this is helping

>me tremendously. Right now, all I can do is sit back and endure the ride...

>brace myself against all of the bumps, and enjoy the smooth spots.

> ¸..• ´¨¨)) -:¦:-

>¸.•´ .•´¨¨))

>((¸¸.•´ ..•´ -:¦:- ..::Brightest Blessings::..

>-:¦:- ((¸¸.•´.¸..•` ..::Bela::..

>

> On 9/11/05, Prasadini <ganesh1008 wrote:

>

>