Guest guest Posted September 12, 2005 Report Share Posted September 12, 2005 Bela wrote: During this entire time of my darkness... I never once visited the Amma website or looked at anything online dealing with Amma...I'd sometimes see no end to the misery... I go to yet another specialist on Tuesday and hopefully they can make some sort of conclusion... and begin to take action. I need surgery...and now they are telling me that I am displaying some of the classic signs of colon cancer. It's so frightening... and I think part of me returning to Amma is knowing that there is no way I can handle this on my own. The emotional stress of all of this, and feeling helpless... thinking of cancer, and my mind running wild with all of the different possibilities... it was hurting me more than the physical pain and discomfort. I have a lot of people praying for me, and I firmly believe this is helping me tremendously. Right now, all I can do is sit back and endure the ride... brace myself against all of the bumps, and enjoy the smooth spots. Dear Bela, I have not seen Amma for six years, mostly because I am not close enough where it is easy for me to go when She comes. I used to live in the DC area, and then it was very easy. I don't feel that I ever completely turned away from Amma, but after I moved into my trailer, I didn't even have a place to put my altar, so I felt very disconnected. And yet, now I know now, I was never really disconnected at all. Part of what helped put the plug back in, so to speak, was finding this wonderful group. I began to feel very early on that it felt like a satsang to me, and then during Her tour this year, Amma told someone that our online group is a satsang. She has seen and blessed our prayer list many times (and I will be sure your name is on it this week). You never really mentioned what your primary iillness is, but perhaps that was for privacy sake. Certainly the thought that you might have some pre-disposition to cancer is frightening enough. I was told on two different occasions that I had pre-cancerous cells in my uterous ...and both times they went away. There are a number of us on the digest who are seriously ill. One you already know about. My illnesses are neuroendocrine immune disorder, fibromyalgia, IBS, Chronic Fatigue, and a few other nasty things left over from various car accidents where drunk drivers pointed themselves at me. There are times when this puts me in deep despair because of the constant pain all over my body, the bloating and nausea... I don't think I would be making it without this group. I have come to understand that Amma sends Her Love to us through other people as well as giving it to us Herself. And it has been through the generosity, kindness, empathy, honesty, etc. from many of the people here that I have begun to feel more and more connected to Amma. If you don't have it, I would sincerely recommend getting "On the Road to Freedom," by Swami Paramatmananda. There are two volumes, but if you can only get one, get the first one. Or ... since I am almost done reading the first book, if you like I could loan it to you. Just send me your regular mail address, off-digest, to my email address: _Nierika_ (Nierika) I believe we gather strength from being together. Who was it that said, "where two or three are gathered in my name." (rhetorical question) Here is another bit of wonderment that I have shared with only a few people off-digest. Since beginning the prayer list, which I coordinate, I would start the names over every six months. Everyone had input into how the prayer list would work and what suggestions we would make to people for prayer. And then, when I started it over again (this past week), I again asked for input. People overwhelmingly agreed that it would be a good idea to start the names over on a quarterly basis. This would make our last official (Sunday) prayer day December 25. What is so astonishing to me about this is that many times I have heard Amma related to Jesus. She Herself has made this connection, and there is even a book about it at the online bookstore. So what an amazing coincidence (there are no accidents) that our last prayer day would be Jesus' Birthday (at least the one that was chosen for him). A while ago, there was quite a dialog on the digest about Amma's official birthday. Few could agree as to the exact date, and then someone told us that, because of the difference between the Gregorian calendar and the Hindu calendar (which makes the date change, year to year), they just picked a date for the sake of consistency and so that devotees would be less confused. Anyway, mostly I wanted you to know you are not alone in your worry about your health or on its impact on your life. I hope you will feel that you can write to the digest, or to those others of us dealing with illness, off-digest, anytime you feel a need to vent or a shoulder to rest your head on. Blessings ~ Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2005 Report Share Posted September 12, 2005 - nierika Ammachi Monday, September 12, 2005 10:39 AM Re: To Bela on connection to Amma and illness Namaste, Bela and All, Bela, I am not strong enough yet, due to health issues, to promise to write immediately of you need a sister to listen, but I promise to answer as soon as possible if/when you write to me. Please, please hold tight to your faith and if my experience fits for others, Mother will be there when you truly, truly need Her - and have given the burdens you're bearing into Her far more capable hands. I wondered, for a long time, why I didn't dream about Amma, etc, as many do - but when I called on Her to be the Guru She had told me She would be and asked that my life go according to Her divine will, She has let me know clearly, lovingly, and with more peace than I can still comprenehnd, that She here, will here - and has always been here for me. Let Her love you like that, too - the small stuff (in my case, nearly dying and having that still as a good possibility) loses all ability to terrify. With deep love and caring, Your sister in Amma, Snehalata Bela wrote: During this entire time of my darkness... I never once visited the Amma website or looked at anything online dealing with Amma...I'd sometimes see no end to the misery... I go to yet another specialist on Tuesday and hopefully they can make some sort of conclusion... and begin to take action. I need surgery...and now they are telling me that I am displaying some of the classic signs of colon cancer. It's so frightening... and I think part of me returning to Amma is knowing that there is no way I can handle this on my own. The emotional stress of all of this, and feeling helpless... thinking of cancer, and my mind running wild with all of the different possibilities... it was hurting me more than the physical pain and discomfort. I have a lot of people praying for me, and I firmly believe this is helping me tremendously. Right now, all I can do is sit back and endure the ride... brace myself against all of the bumps, and enjoy the smooth spots. Dear Bela, I have not seen Amma for six years, mostly because I am not close enough where it is easy for me to go when She comes. I used to live in the DC area, and then it was very easy. I don't feel that I ever completely turned away from Amma, but after I moved into my trailer, I didn't even have a place to put my altar, so I felt very disconnected. And yet, now I know now, I was never really disconnected at all. Part of what helped put the plug back in, so to speak, was finding this wonderful group. I began to feel very early on that it felt like a satsang to me, and then during Her tour this year, Amma told someone that our online group is a satsang. She has seen and blessed our prayer list many times (and I will be sure your name is on it this week). You never really mentioned what your primary iillness is, but perhaps that was for privacy sake. Certainly the thought that you might have some pre-disposition to cancer is frightening enough. I was told on two different occasions that I had pre-cancerous cells in my uterous ...and both times they went away. There are a number of us on the digest who are seriously ill. One you already know about. My illnesses are neuroendocrine immune disorder, fibromyalgia, IBS, Chronic Fatigue, and a few other nasty things left over from various car accidents where drunk drivers pointed themselves at me. There are times when this puts me in deep despair because of the constant pain all over my body, the bloating and nausea... I don't think I would be making it without this group. I have come to understand that Amma sends Her Love to us through other people as well as giving it to us Herself. And it has been through the generosity, kindness, empathy, honesty, etc. from many of the people here that I have begun to feel more and more connected to Amma. If you don't have it, I would sincerely recommend getting "On the Road to Freedom," by Swami Paramatmananda. There are two volumes, but if you can only get one, get the first one. Or ... since I am almost done reading the first book, if you like I could loan it to you. Just send me your regular mail address, off-digest, to my email address: _Nierika_ (Nierika) I believe we gather strength from being together. Who was it that said, "where two or three are gathered in my name." (rhetorical question) Here is another bit of wonderment that I have shared with only a few people off-digest. Since beginning the prayer list, which I coordinate, I would start the names over every six months. Everyone had input into how the prayer list would work and what suggestions we would make to people for prayer. And then, when I started it over again (this past week), I again asked for input. People overwhelmingly agreed that it would be a good idea to start the names over on a quarterly basis. This would make our last official (Sunday) prayer day December 25. What is so astonishing to me about this is that many times I have heard Amma related to Jesus. She Herself has made this connection, and there is even a book about it at the online bookstore. So what an amazing coincidence (there are no accidents) that our last prayer day would be Jesus' Birthday (at least the one that was chosen for him). A while ago, there was quite a dialog on the digest about Amma's official birthday. Few could agree as to the exact date, and then someone told us that, because of the difference between the Gregorian calendar and the Hindu calendar (which makes the date change, year to year), they just picked a date for the sake of consistency and so that devotees would be less confused. Anyway, mostly I wanted you to know you are not alone in your worry about your health or on its impact on your life. I hope you will feel that you can write to the digest, or to those others of us dealing with illness, off-digest, anytime you feel a need to vent or a shoulder to rest your head on. Blessings ~ Linda Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha! Hinduism religion Different religions beliefs Mata amritanandamayi a.. Visit your group "Ammachi" on the web. b.. Ammachi c.. Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.10.22/98 - Release 9/12/2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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