To Nierika: Bela vs. Bala!

[Guest guest]

Oh, confusion sets in! I am sister Bela... and there is brother Bala here as

well, LOL! But I assume your reply below was meant to me. Our names are so

similar... it's bound to happen!

Thank you for the warm welcome. It's very comforting to know that others

also go through this "dark night of the soul". I had a lot of guilt I placed

on myself, for straying... but I am working on overcoming the negativity.

¸..• ´¨¨)) -:¦:-

¸.•´ .•´¨¨))

((¸¸.•´ ..•´ -:¦:- ..::Brightest Blessings::..

-:¦:- ((¸¸.•´.¸..•` ..::Bela::..

On 9/11/05, nierika <nierika wrote:

>

> Bala wrote:

>

> ...My return to her is a joyous one! But it is also a difficult one - I

> will

>

> still deal with depression, financial problems, and the issues with my

> health. (Unfortunately it has been deteriorating.) But I know that I can

> handle this with Amma in my life, in my heart, and carrying me when I am

> weak. There is a huge difference, in my opinion, in suffering alone, and

> suffering, yet knowing that you are cared for, you are loved, and that you

>

> do matter, and having the knowledge to realize what's going on, and the

> strength to carry the load...

> Dear Bala ~ it is good to "see" you again. I relate very much to what you

> have written, thought even now as I deal with health problems, family

> turning

> away from me in a time of need, problems with my partner, it has been

> Amma, and

> to some extent, this group, which to me is an extension of Amma, like

> tendrils of beautiful flowing light emanating from our Amma/Star. (I still

> have

> this image in my mind that I want to draw or paint, of Mother as a Star

> with

> tendrils of Light that become a rainbow.)

>

> It sounds as if you have been through what St. John of the Cross called

> the

> "dark night of the soul," and it often preceeds a return to the Light, to

> Oneness, to Divinity within and without. Even in reading "On the Road to

> Freedom," by Swami Paramatmananda (okay, I'm almost finished with the

> first book),

> Swami P. had periods of deep inner doubt and despair. He was also very

> ill,

> but I am just at the part of the book where Amma finally healed him (after

>

> telling him that his illness was burning away some karma).

>

> Anyway, dear brother ~ it is good to have you among us again, and I am

> very

> glad those COL letters reached you and lifted up your heart. Hugs ~ Jai Ma

> ~

> Linda