A Joyous Yet Difficult Return...

[Guest guest]

Namaste and good day, everyone...

So many times in life, we turn away from our beliefs and our faith, for

various reasons. The majority of the time it seems to happen during extreme

times. Too much hardship in our lives, depression, financial troubles,

heartbreak, poor health... and we fall back into the shadows. Sometimes we

blatantly blame God, wondering why could such hard times be allowed to

trouble us... and at other times feeling so miserable and forgotten about,

that we just regress.

Yet, other times... we have an abundance of good in our lives. Perhaps we

have fallen into a new job, unexpected money, a new partner/relationship...

everything seems to be going perfect. So perfect, in fact, that we feel

invincible - we forget that it was through blessings that we received such

luxuries in life.

For whatever reason, I'm sure you all can attest to the fact that at some

time or another in our lives, we stray from God. Many times it is

unintentional and not planned, and at other times, we are so stricken with

extremes that we purposely back away from the light and love we once adored.

I've been in the shadows for a year or so now. My situation was one of hard

times - losing a job, being forced to move back in with my estranged

husband, financial difficulties, emotional hardships, depression, and some

pretty serious health problems. I never meant to fall away from God, from

Amma... but gradually I did. I look back and think of how much happier I

would have been if I would have remained close to her light, close to her

love.

There comes a time when most people will realize that they have removed

themselves from the presence of God... or a time where they wonder why they

ever made such a decision. Attempts to justify the reasons only seem to lead

to a feeling of failure, and heavy feelings of self-guilt and blame.

My journey back to God & Amma is a miracle, in my mind! I used to be a CoL

writer, and also a CoL recipient. When I fell back, gradually the letters

stopped coming in. This was perhaps a year ago.

Two weeks ago, I received a CoL letter in the mail, unexpectedly. It was a

very pleasant and uplifting piece of mail, and it really brightened my day

and made me feel loved and cared for. Coincidentally... I received yet

another CoL letter... the very next day, from a different writer! A few more

days passed, and I received another piece of mail. Both of these writers let

me know that they cared for me, and that I was in their prayers.

At this same time... I found out that I was up for a position within a very

large national company! I received the call from Human Resources about the

interview the very day that I got the third CoL letter. I saw it as a sign

of good to come, and indeed a blessing!

It came at a perfect time for me, spiritually. I have a beautiful magnet on

my refrigerator of Amma, that a CoL writer made me long ago... so I have

never forgotten Amma, nor forgotten her love for all of us. I was simply too

weak, spiritually and physically, to even think of returning to her. I know

that sounds terribly shallow and lazy... but I've really been in a bad

place, both medically and spiritually.emotionally this past year.

The devastation of Katrina... my health... my financial difficulties....

all of the bad, yet rays of light shining through loudly! The letters, the

interviews, finding out my family near New Orleans was/is safe... I saw

these all as both signs and blessings from God, from Amma.

My return to her is a joyous one! But it is also a difficult one - I will

still deal with depression, financial problems, and the issues with my

health. (Unfortunately it has been deteriorating.) But I know that I can

handle this with Amma in my life, in my heart, and carrying me when I am

weak. There is a huge difference, in my opinion, in suffering alone, and

suffering, yet knowing that you are cared for, you are loved, and that you

do matter, and having the knowledge to realize what's going on, and the

strength to carry the load.

How I've rambled! Many of you I remember, and I am happy to return to your

company! Many of you I've never met, but I look forward to knowing each and

every one of you, learning, and sharing. Jai ma!

¸..• ´¨¨)) -:¦:-

¸.•´ .•´¨¨))

((¸¸.•´ ..•´ -:¦:- ..::Brightest Blessings::..

-:¦:- ((¸¸.•´.¸..•` ..::Bela::..

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear Bela,

 

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm sure many here can relate...

 

I went through an intense period of loss and suffering over the past few years,

and I can

attest to the fact that feeling Amma's presence throughout...well, it was still

deeply

challenging and unimaginably painful...but never once did I feel that all was

lost. As long

as my heart was open to Amma, on some level, I felt I could never really be

lacking.

 

There is this verse from the Upanishads that we sometimes chant in closing

prayers:

 

Om purnamadah purnamidam purnaat purnamudachyate,

purnasya purnamadaya purnamevaavashishyate

 

(That is the Whole; this is the Whole; From the Whole, the Whole arises;

Taking away the Whole from the Whole, The Whole remains.)

 

Feeling Amma's presence so steadily during hard times drove this home for me.

 

I wish you peace...

 

Blessings,

Iswari

 

Ammachi, Bela Gaytan <bela.fela@g...> wrote:

> My return to her is a joyous one! But it is also a difficult one - I will

> still deal with depression, financial problems, and the issues with my

> health. (Unfortunately it has been deteriorating.) But I know that I can

> handle this with Amma in my life, in my heart, and carrying me when I am

> weak. There is a huge difference, in my opinion, in suffering alone, and

> suffering, yet knowing that you are cared for, you are loved, and that you

> do matter, and having the knowledge to realize what's going on, and the

> strength to carry the load.

> How I've rambled! Many of you I remember, and I am happy to return to your

> company! Many of you I've never met, but I look forward to knowing each and

> every one of you, learning, and sharing. Jai ma!

> ¸..• ´¨¨)) -:¦:-

> ¸.•´ .•´¨¨))

> ((¸¸.•´ ..•´ -:¦:- ..::Brightest Blessings::..

> -:¦:- ((¸¸.•´.¸..•` ..::Bela::..

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ammachi, Bela Gaytan <bela.fela@g...> wrote:

> Namaste and good day, everyone...

> So many times in life, we turn away from our beliefs and our

faith, for

> various reasons. The majority of the time it seems to happen during

extreme

> times. Too much hardship in our lives, depression, financial

troubles,

> heartbreak, poor health... and we fall back into the shadows.

Sometimes we

> blatantly blame God, wondering why could such hard times be allowed

to

> trouble us... and at other times feeling so miserable and forgotten

about,

> that we just regress.

> Yet, other times... we have an abundance of good in our lives.

Perhaps we

> have fallen into a new job, unexpected money, a new

partner/relationship...

> everything seems to be going perfect. So perfect, in fact, that we

feel

> invincible - we forget that it was through blessings that we

received such

> luxuries in life.

> For whatever reason, I'm sure you all can attest to the fact that

at some

> time or another in our lives, we stray from God. Many times it is

> unintentional and not planned, and at other times, we are so

stricken with

> extremes that we purposely back away from the light and love we

once adored.

> I've been in the shadows for a year or so now. My situation was

one of hard

> times - losing a job, being forced to move back in with my

estranged

> husband, financial difficulties, emotional hardships, depression,

and some

> pretty serious health problems. I never meant to fall away from

God, from

> Amma... but gradually I did. I look back and think of how much

happier I

> would have been if I would have remained close to her light, close

to her

> love.

> There comes a time when most people will realize that they have

removed

> themselves from the presence of God... or a time where they wonder

why they

> ever made such a decision. Attempts to justify the reasons only

seem to lead

> to a feeling of failure, and heavy feelings of self-guilt and blame.

> My journey back to God & Amma is a miracle, in my mind! I used to

be a CoL

> writer, and also a CoL recipient. When I fell back, gradually the

letters

> stopped coming in. This was perhaps a year ago.

> Two weeks ago, I received a CoL letter in the mail, unexpectedly.

It was a

> very pleasant and uplifting piece of mail, and it really brightened

my day

> and made me feel loved and cared for. Coincidentally... I received

yet

> another CoL letter... the very next day, from a different writer! A

few more

> days passed, and I received another piece of mail. Both of these

writers let

> me know that they cared for me, and that I was in their prayers.

> At this same time... I found out that I was up for a position

within a very

> large national company! I received the call from Human Resources

about the

> interview the very day that I got the third CoL letter. I saw it as

a sign

> of good to come, and indeed a blessing!

> It came at a perfect time for me, spiritually. I have a beautiful

magnet on

> my refrigerator of Amma, that a CoL writer made me long ago... so I

have

> never forgotten Amma, nor forgotten her love for all of us. I was

simply too

> weak, spiritually and physically, to even think of returning to

her. I know

> that sounds terribly shallow and lazy... but I've really been in a

bad

> place, both medically and spiritually.emotionally this past year.

> The devastation of Katrina... my health... my financial

difficulties....

> all of the bad, yet rays of light shining through loudly! The

letters, the

> interviews, finding out my family near New Orleans was/is safe... I

saw

> these all as both signs and blessings from God, from Amma.

> My return to her is a joyous one! But it is also a difficult one -

I will

> still deal with depression, financial problems, and the issues with

my

> health. (Unfortunately it has been deteriorating.) But I know that

I can

> handle this with Amma in my life, in my heart, and carrying me when

I am

> weak. There is a huge difference, in my opinion, in suffering

alone, and

> suffering, yet knowing that you are cared for, you are loved, and

that you

> do matter, and having the knowledge to realize what's going on, and

the

> strength to carry the load.

> How I've rambled! Many of you I remember, and I am happy to return

to your

> company! Many of you I've never met, but I look forward to knowing

each and

> every one of you, learning, and sharing. Jai ma!

> ¸..• ´¨¨)) -:¦:-

> ¸.•´ .•´¨¨))

> ((¸¸.•´ ..•´ -:¦:- ..::Brightest Blessings::..

> -:¦:- ((¸¸.•´.¸..•` ..::Bela::..

>

>

>

 

Someone asked a great saint if God had any favored devotees. He said

no at first, then he changed his mind and said yes, perhaps the

helpless and those who are deeply suffering.

[Guest guest]

Dear sister,

thanks for sharing your personal story. I am currently in my own

crisis this past year-financial mainly. After talking with another

devotee late last night-he reminded me that as long as we have the

body-there will always be happiness or sadness. It is so easy to be

swept up into life, worrying about all these things as that is the

nature of the mind-to bring worry. WE can have a big house, money,

etc but sadness and worry could still affect us in other ways about

other things.

 

We do what we can to better our situation. Short of that, we leave

the rest in Amma's hands. Sometimes no matter what our efforts,

things seem to slide backwards anyway. I say just get on the bobsled

and enjoy the ride somehow-surrendering to Amma. Once you reach that

point, it is easier to accept all things-good or bad- with greater

equanamity.

 

It can be challenging in the most difficult of times to remember

Amma. But She is always with us. She provides the light at the end of

the tunnel. She provides light in the midst of darkness. This world

is a temporary place. May we perform good actions to make it a better

place with our every breath.

 

love

adriane

[Guest guest]

> Someone asked a great saint if God had any favored

> devotees. He said

> no at first, then he changed his mind and said yes,

> perhaps the

> helpless and those who are deeply suffering.

 

Neem Karoli Baba said, "I love suffering. It brings

people closer to God."

 

Even though it may feel that we are far away from Amma

at times, She never, never leaves us. The distance is

only in our perception. I restate my question of this

summer tour:

 

WHERE DOES AMMA'S LAP END?

 

love,

 

Prajna

 

 

 

 

____

for Good

Watch the Hurricane Katrina Shelter From The Storm concert

http://advision.webevents./shelter

[Guest guest]

Dear Bella and Prajna,

 

First - I LOVE the question, "Where does Amma's lap end?"

 

In one instant in late winter of this year I "lost" Mother. I was in utter

despair because of my health. I had lost all hope and all faith in that

instant.

I have pictures of Mother everywhere in the house. I took many of them

down.

I could not bear to sleep without my Amma doll, but other than that I

had little

to do with Her for quite a while. It was part anger, part utter lack of

faith and discouragement.

 

I was ambivalent abut seeing Her in June, then became more enthusiastic

as the time came closer. I couldn't make it to see Her, however,

because the whole time She was in San Ramon and LA I was sick with

first one thing and then another. I never doubted that there was a reason

for that. My crazy mind went from the thought that I was being punished

to, well, it was all for the best and what I needed.

 

This child had been clinging to Her feet for so long, and then just let go.

Partly it was a matter of just giving up the good fight of dealing with this

suffering (late stage Lyme, is the latest diagnosis).

 

So I can understand that in the chaos of first one suffering, then

another, then something else awful happening it is easy to lose faith.

Of course that is when we need it most,

but that connection to Her I guess is always there, if even the

thickness of a thread.

And as Prajna, our wise sister said, "She never, never leaves us".

 

Bela (I love your name), I really hope you have a turnaround in your

health. I am

glad that good things are beginning to happen for you.

 

I happened to be speaking on the phone to the friend of a friend who

said that

he couldn't imagine going through this life without a Guru, because life

is so hard,

and he isn't even sick.

 

It sure can be a bumpy ride!

In Amma's Love,

Prasadini

 

Prajna - Brianna wrote:

 

> > Someone asked a great saint if God had any favored

> > devotees. He said

> > no at first, then he changed his mind and said yes,

> > perhaps the

> > helpless and those who are deeply suffering.

>

> Neem Karoli Baba said, "I love suffering. It brings

> people closer to God."

>

> Even though it may feel that we are far away from Amma

> at times, She never, never leaves us. The distance is

> only in our perception. I restate my question of this

> summer tour:

>

> WHERE DOES AMMA'S LAP END?

>

> love,

>

> Prajna

>

>

>

>

> ____

> for Good

> Watch the Hurricane Katrina Shelter From The Storm concert

> http://advision.webevents./shelter

>

>

>

> Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

>

>

> ------

>

>

> * Visit your group "Ammachi

> <Ammachi>" on the web.

>

> *

> Ammachi

> <Ammachi?subject=Un>

>

> * Terms of

> Service <>.

>

>

> ------

>

[Guest guest]

While in India, I read all of Paramatmananda Swami's books (if you're wondering

what's the

fascination with Paramatmananda Swami, it's just that I'd already read

everything else!). In

one of them, he was addressing this question that so many people ask of why

their lives

seem to become so much more difficult after meeting Amma....and he related

something

Amma once said about how she often actually creates difficulties for us to help

purify us!

 

I'd probably be pretty upset if anyone other than Amma was creating difficulties

with the

aim of purifying me...but, since it's Amma, despite the struggle, I mainly feel

grateful.

 

Possibly sounding a bit nuts,

Iswari ;-)

 

Ammachi, Prasadini <ganesh1008@c...> wrote:

 

> I happened to be speaking on the phone to the friend of a friend who

> said that

> he couldn't imagine going through this life without a Guru, because life

> is so hard,

> and he isn't even sick.

> It sure can be a bumpy ride!

> In Amma's Love,

> Prasadini

[Guest guest]

I wish you were sounding a bit nuts...but you are not.

-

ammasiswari

Ammachi

Sunday, September 11, 2005 3:48 PM

Re: A Joyous Yet Difficult Return...

 

 

While in India, I read all of Paramatmananda Swami's books (if you're

wondering what's the

fascination with Paramatmananda Swami, it's just that I'd already read

everything else!). In

one of them, he was addressing this question that so many people ask of why

their lives

seem to become so much more difficult after meeting Amma....and he related

something

Amma once said about how she often actually creates difficulties for us to

help purify us!

 

I'd probably be pretty upset if anyone other than Amma was creating

difficulties with the

aim of purifying me...but, since it's Amma, despite the struggle, I mainly

feel grateful.

 

Possibly sounding a bit nuts,

Iswari ;-)

 

Ammachi, Prasadini <ganesh1008@c...> wrote:

 

> I happened to be speaking on the phone to the friend of a friend who

> said that

> he couldn't imagine going through this life without a Guru, because life

> is so hard,

> and he isn't even sick.

> It sure can be a bumpy ride!

> In Amma's Love,

> Prasadini

 

 

 

 

 

Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

 

 

 

Hinduism religion Different religions beliefs Mata

amritanandamayi

 

 

 

 

a.. Visit your group "Ammachi" on the web.

 

b..

Ammachi

 

c..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

thank you for sharing this, prasadini. it mirrors experiences i have

had (and i'm sure others) in life, in general, when it comes to god, or

spiritual life.

 

 

Prasadini wrote:

 

>Dear Bella and Prajna,

>

>First - I LOVE the question, "Where does Amma's lap end?"

>

>In one instant in late winter of this year I "lost" Mother. I was in utter

>despair because of my health. I had lost all hope and all faith in that

>instant.

>I have pictures of Mother everywhere in the house. I took many of them

>down.

>

Be Love,

Egyirba (Berijoy)

http://www.egyirba.net

-=-=-

.... 0377."There is no division in that state [of a Mahatma]; one becomes

totally undivided. In fact, there is only space. Division is created

by us. As a result of our own karma, the ego creates division. It is

like a house divided by walls into many rooms. Before the house was

constructed, there was only space. After the walls were put up, the

space was divided into separate rooms. But in reality, even when the

entire house is built and division is created by the walls, there is

still only space." - Vol.5, p41

[Guest guest]

Om Namah Shivaya:

 

Are we not all crazy here?. Hopefully crazy for Amma.

 

The purification question is intriguing.

 

Let us say hypothetically a Devotee wins the lottery. She then

invests wisely and develops a vast empire. Let us visualize her

health and family life to be way above par as well.

 

Who then needs Amma? I recognize their are some evolved souls who

would still think of God in the midst of material splendour. King

Janaka may be the classic historical example. Amma's Ron was a multi-

millionaire and is now a Sevite at aims (if his own health problems

permit)

 

I doubt if I would yearn for Amma as passionately if I were in the

throes of material and family good fortune. This is my personal

inventory. That is where I seem to be at my current state of

spiritual striving.

 

The Swami may have alluded to Amma purifying us through adversity.

Empirical "success" may increase the entanglement of worldly enjoyment

(s). Once imprisoned by cars and luxury villas what would Amma place

would Amma have in the hypotheticals scheme? Could the devotee

spare a summer following Amma if enmeshed in maintaining family and

fortune? In the hypothetical above who would keep abreast of her new

found empire? The devotees family would complain about the newfound

zillionaires interest in this "weird" Guru. The higher social

classes in the west have certain norms.

 

The devotee would be in chains They would be golden chains yet

still chains.

 

Please do not accuse me of overlooking the perils of physical ill

health. The Swami you quote has been quite ill for decades despite

being an intimate disciple of our Mother.

 

In the case of ill health and purification I must admit that I do not

have a muvh insight. Here is an observation yet not a postulation.

 

Our dear Sister Snehalata is setting a classic example of how to

conduct oneself while in a health battle. The sweet surrender

of Dixie and her placid acceptance of Divine Will seems

purificatory.

 

Better than wealth is peace. Better than social status - love.

Better than personal empire - freedom.

 

Amma talks about the wealthy being sad in air conditioned mansions.

 

Her Will be done. Peace.

 

Wishing everyone Peace,

 

GeorgeSon

 

Ammachi, "Mahamuni" <mahamuni@c...> wrote:

> I wish you were sounding a bit nuts...but you are not.

> -

> ammasiswari

> Ammachi

> Sunday, September 11, 2005 3:48 PM

> Re: A Joyous Yet Difficult Return...

>

>

> While in India, I read all of Paramatmananda Swami's books (if

you're wondering what's the

> fascination with Paramatmananda Swami, it's just that I'd already

read everything else!). In

> one of them, he was addressing this question that so many people

ask of why their lives

> seem to become so much more difficult after meeting Amma....and

he related something

> Amma once said about how she often actually creates difficulties

for us to help purify us!

>

> I'd probably be pretty upset if anyone other than Amma was

creating difficulties with the

> aim of purifying me...but, since it's Amma, despite the struggle,

I mainly feel grateful.

>

> Possibly sounding a bit nuts,

> Iswari ;-)

>

> Ammachi, Prasadini <ganesh1008@c...> wrote:

>

> > I happened to be speaking on the phone to the friend of a

friend who

> > said that

> > he couldn't imagine going through this life without a Guru,

because life

> > is so hard,

> > and he isn't even sick.

> > It sure can be a bumpy ride!

> > In Amma's Love,

> > Prasadini

>

>

>

>

>

> Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

>

>

>

> Hinduism religion Different religions beliefs

Mata amritanandamayi

>

>

> --

----------

>

>

> a.. Visit your group "Ammachi" on the web.

>

> b..

> Ammachi

>

> c.. Terms

of Service.

>

>

> --

----------

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

CORRECTED POST. SORRY FOR TYPOS IN GEORGESON'S PREVIOUS POST

 

 

> Om Namah Shivaya:

>

> Are we not all crazy here?. Hopefully crazy for Amma.

>

> The purification question is intriguing.

>

> Let us say hypothetically a Devotee wins the lottery. She then

> invests wisely and develops a vast empire. Let us visualize her

> health and family life to be way above par as well.

>

> Who then needs Amma? I recognize their are some evolved souls who

> would still think of God in the midst of material splendour. King

> Janaka may be the classic historical example. Amma's Ron was a

millionaire and is now a full time Sevite at AIMS Hospital.

>

> I doubt if I would yearn for Amma as passionately if I were in the

> throes of material and family good fortune. This is my personal

> inventory. That is where I seem to be at my current state of

> spiritual striving.

>

> The Swami may have alluded to Amma purifying us through adversity.

> Empirical "success" may increase the entanglement of worldly

enjoyments). Once imprisoned by cars and luxury villas would Amma

have the same place in the devotees heart? Could the devotee

> spare a summer following Amma if enmeshed in maintaining the family

> fortune? The devotees family would possibly complain about

the newfound zillionaires interest in this "weird" Guru. The higher

social classes in the west have certain norms.

>

> The devotee would be in chains. They would be golden chains yet

> still chains.

>

> Please do not accuse me of overlooking the perils of physical ill

> health. The Swami you quote has been quite ill for decades despite

> being an intimate disciple of our Mother.

>

> In the case of ill health and purification I must admit that I do

not have a muvh insight. Here is an observation yet not a

postulation.

>

> Our dear Sister Snehalata is setting a classic example of how to

> conduct oneself while in a health battle. The sweet surrender

> of Dixie and her placid acceptance of Divine Will seem

> purificatory.

>

> Better than wealth - peace. Better than social status - love.

> Better than personal empire - freedom.

>

> Amma talks about the wealthy being sad in air conditioned mansions.

>

> Her Will be done.

>

> Wishing everyone Peace,

>

> GeorgeSon

>

> Ammachi, "Mahamuni" <mahamuni@c...> wrote:

> > I wish you were sounding a bit nuts...but you are not.

> > -

> > ammasiswari

> > Ammachi

> > Sunday, September 11, 2005 3:48 PM

> > Re: A Joyous Yet Difficult Return...

> >

> >

> > While in India, I read all of Paramatmananda Swami's books (if

> you're wondering what's the

> > fascination with Paramatmananda Swami, it's just that I'd

already

> read everything else!). In

> > one of them, he was addressing this question that so many

people

> ask of why their lives

> > seem to become so much more difficult after meeting Amma....and

> he related something

> > Amma once said about how she often actually creates

difficulties

> for us to help purify us!

> >

> > I'd probably be pretty upset if anyone other than Amma was

> creating difficulties with the

> > aim of purifying me...but, since it's Amma, despite the

struggle,

> I mainly feel grateful.

> >

> > Possibly sounding a bit nuts,

> > Iswari ;-)

> >

> > Ammachi, Prasadini <ganesh1008@c...>

wrote:

> >

> > > I happened to be speaking on the phone to the friend of a

> friend who

> > > said that

> > > he couldn't imagine going through this life without a Guru,

> because life

> > > is so hard,

> > > and he isn't even sick.

> > > It sure can be a bumpy ride!

> > > In Amma's Love,

> > > Prasadini

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

> >

> >

> >

> > Hinduism religion Different religions beliefs

> Mata amritanandamayi

> >

> >

> >

--

> ----------

> >

> >

> > a.. Visit your group "Ammachi" on the web.

> >

> > b..

> > Ammachi

> >

> > c.. Terms

> of Service.

> >

> >

> >

--

> ----------

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