To Avram ~ I too have doubts, fears, etc

[Guest guest]

Dear Avram ~ Namaste,

 

My reply to your queries "if you are the only one with fears, doubts,

etc?" is that I too have doubts, fears, worries, anger, etc. And even

though I should not speak for everyone else, Amma seems to say that

until we fully awaken, all of us will continue to have some doubts,

some fears, etc.

 

Even after 10 years with Mother, having touched Her Lotus Feet and

engaged in various spiritual practices, why do my emotions still go

from what seems like complete faith to doubts to even feeling

abandoned?

 

If you knew how timid and lazy I am, you would be quite surprised to

see me have the courage to garland Mother this summer. Somehow little

by little Mother gives us the courage to overcome our limitations and

doubts. If you knew how many phobias( fear of flying, fear of all

public transport, panic attacks, etc ) my partner had, you would not

believe that we were able to go and spend 5.5 months at Amritapuri

two years ago. It was very challenging ~ Mother never promised us

a "rose garden." To my partner "Amma's Energy is amazing." To me it

was all a miracle ~ Mother's Grace ~ an example that God does all

dragging us along while the ego does its thing.

 

Recently, when feeling down, I feel ashamed and inspired in the light

of the beautiful examples of faith and courage shown to us by

Snehalata, Linda and others. Their challenges remind me of a

book "Daughter of Fire" by Irina Tweedie recommended by an American

renunciant living at Amritapuri ~ supposedly Amma made a favorably

comment about it.

 

So, Avram, it seems that until we totally surrender our burdensome

egoic minds, all of us have similar problems. The differences are in :

1) intensity of our problem

2) our awarness and acknowledgment of our problem

3) whether we talk about it, ask for help, etc

4) how we cope with our problem( especially if we can somehow let go )

 

Currently, by Amma's Grace, I have added to my coping approaches

another of Amma's teachings ~ to become aware of the real nature of

the egoic mind. So, I have been watching the egoic mind carefully,

attentively. Sure enough, all these doubts, fears, worries, anger,

etc belong to the egoic mind. The best refuge for me, at this time,

seems to be in the stillness of the spiritual heart( Silence ). Faith

and Love seem to come from this Silence ~ little by little purifying

the mind and I hope dissolving the ego.

 

My understanding is that the ultimate goal is not just to have a more

positive mind( although that will do for now ) but to surrender the

egoic mind completely. Please see the new

file "AWAKENING_DRAWING.doc" in the file folder "amarnath." This is

my attempt at describing pictorially what I feel the goal is ~ hope

it's somewhat correct ~ comments appreciated.

 

Hope some of this helps. Here are some of Amma's words on this:

 

"The mind is a big lie, and the world is a projection of that lie.

Both are unreal. The world exists only because the mind exists. The

mind is responsible for all your problems. It creates doubts and

makes you suffer; it causes all your anger, hatred and jealousy; it

prompts you to act indiscriminately and even to commit evil. It

inevitably pushes you into a state of misery. The mind is hell." -

Ammachi, Awaken Children, Vol. 7 p47

 

"You are not the mind. You are the Self (Atman)…. Once you know the

Self, you will realize that it is not a mystery at all - it is you -

your own real nature. It is closer than the closest. The mind makes

it a mystery. The mind is a complication which makes everything very

complicated." - Ammachi, Awaken Children, Vol. 7 p48

 

"The mind has two powers: the veiling power and the power of

projection. First, the mind veils the true nature of a phenomenon,

and then it misinterprets it. That is why Amma says that the mind is

a liar. It covers the truth and makes us mistake the truth for

something else." - Ammachi, Awaken Children, Vol. 7 p52

 

"This deceit of the mind goes on without end. The illusion can be

removed only when a true Master brings you the light of true

knowledge. Then you will realize the Truth and be at peace. That is

when the real awakening takes place. Until then, the Truth will

remain unclear." - Ammachi, Awaken Children, Vol. 7 p54

 

Sincerely hope that this helps.

~ Namaste( bowing down to Amma within you ), amarnath

[Guest guest]

Dear Amarnath,

 

I liked your pictorial representation and the Amma quotes. I also

like the short essay by Galen Sharp at

 

http://www.sentient.org/galen.html

 

Om

Labd

 

 

 

>Faith

> and Love seem to come from this Silence ~ little by little

purifying

> the mind and I hope dissolving the ego.

>

> My understanding is that the ultimate goal is not just to have a

more

> positive mind( although that will do for now ) but to surrender

the

> egoic mind completely. Please see the new

> file "AWAKENING_DRAWING.doc" in the file folder "amarnath." This

is

> my attempt at describing pictorially what I feel the goal is ~

hope

> it's somewhat correct ~ comments appreciated.

>

> Hope some of this helps. Here are some of Amma's words on this:

>

> "The mind is a big lie, and the world is a projection of that lie.

> Both are unreal. The world exists only because the mind exists.

The

> mind is responsible for all your problems. It creates doubts and

> makes you suffer; it causes all your anger, hatred and jealousy;

it

> prompts you to act indiscriminately and even to commit evil. It

> inevitably pushes you into a state of misery. The mind is hell." -

> Ammachi, Awaken Children, Vol. 7 p47

>

> "You are not the mind. You are the Self (Atman)…. Once you know

the

> Self, you will realize that it is not a mystery at all - it is

you -

> your own real nature. It is closer than the closest. The mind

makes

> it a mystery. The mind is a complication which makes everything

very

> complicated." - Ammachi, Awaken Children, Vol. 7 p48

>

> "The mind has two powers: the veiling power and the power of

> projection. First, the mind veils the true nature of a phenomenon,

> and then it misinterprets it. That is why Amma says that the mind

is

> a liar. It covers the truth and makes us mistake the truth for

> something else." - Ammachi, Awaken Children, Vol. 7 p52

>

> "This deceit of the mind goes on without end. The illusion can be

> removed only when a true Master brings you the light of true

> knowledge. Then you will realize the Truth and be at peace. That

is

> when the real awakening takes place. Until then, the Truth will

> remain unclear." - Ammachi, Awaken Children, Vol. 7 p54

>

> Sincerely hope that this helps.

> ~ Namaste( bowing down to Amma within you ), amarnath