Guest guest Posted August 12, 2005 Report Share Posted August 12, 2005 I've been soo excited about my trip to Amritapuri....but ever since I remembered that the last week in August is the anniversary of a devastating loss for me (I'm not sure how I could have forgotten that when I booked the ticket, though I suppose Amma just wanted me there then), the thought of leaving and being separated from my beloved husband during that time just feels heartbreaking, almost unbearably painful and sad. This is how sweet he is, though....he bought a little spiral-bound pad of index cards, and is writing me a little note for each day that we'll be apart. Even though other aspects of my life have been deeply challenging at times, I've at "least" been unbelievably blessed with this love! I suppose it's not surprising, on the verge of going to the ashram of our Kali Flower, that I find myself struggling with my attachments and plunging into some existential crisis! :-D Please keep me in your prayers in the coming weeks, as you will be in mine... In Amma's Love, Iswari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2005 Report Share Posted August 12, 2005 Dear Iswari, Your husband is so sweet! Take him in your heart with you to Amritapuri. You will really be fine. Life, from the worldly perspective, is never all good or all bad. It is a mixed bag. Maybe going to Amritapuri is the medicine you need to heal from your loss. And you'll be back before you know it with many stories to tell your brothers and sisters. Have a wonderful trip. In Mother's Love Prasadini ammasiswari wrote: >I've been soo excited about my trip to Amritapuri....but ever since I remembered that the >last week in August is the anniversary of a devastating loss for me (I'm not sure how I >could have forgotten that when I booked the ticket, though I suppose Amma just wanted >me there then), the thought of leaving and being separated from my beloved husband >during that time just feels heartbreaking, almost unbearably painful and sad. This is how >sweet he is, though....he bought a little spiral-bound pad of index cards, and is writing me >a little note for each day that we'll be apart. Even though other aspects of my life have >been deeply challenging at times, I've at "least" been unbelievably blessed with this love! > >I suppose it's not surprising, on the verge of going to the ashram of our Kali Flower, that I >find myself struggling with my attachments and plunging into some existential crisis! :-D > >Please keep me in your prayers in the coming weeks, as you will be in mine... > >In Amma's Love, >Iswari > > > > > >Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha! > Links > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 12, 2005 Report Share Posted August 12, 2005 Last fall, I had an experience with Amma in which all of my ideas and concepts of everything (including Amma and myself and the world) just *dissolved*. Ever since then, something in my relationship with Her has changed. I used to find some sort of comfort in turning to Her (or whatever my idea of Her was). However, since that experience, She is just an utter mystery to me. I feel I have no grasp of Her whatsoever, even as I'm drawn in deeper...and so here I am, plunging myself into this Unknown....and it's a bit terrifying! Iswari Ammachi, "ammasiswari" <ammasiswari> wrote: > I've been soo excited about my trip to Amritapuri....but ever since I remembered that the > last week in August is the anniversary of a devastating loss for me (I'm not sure how I > could have forgotten that when I booked the ticket, though I suppose Amma just wanted > me there then), the thought of leaving and being separated from my beloved husband > during that time just feels heartbreaking, almost unbearably painful and sad. This is how > sweet he is, though....he bought a little spiral-bound pad of index cards, and is writing me > a little note for each day that we'll be apart. Even though other aspects of my life have > been deeply challenging at times, I've at "least" been unbelievably blessed with this love! > > I suppose it's not surprising, on the verge of going to the ashram of our Kali Flower, that I > find myself struggling with my attachments and plunging into some existential crisis! :- D > > Please keep me in your prayers in the coming weeks, as you will be in mine... > > In Amma's Love, > Iswari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2005 Report Share Posted August 13, 2005 Om Namah Shivayah Iswari! Seems that Ma Kali is at work! Sometimes I feel that I am Alice In Wonderland with Mother. Things are always changing shape, and just when I think I have it mildly figured out, along comes something else (emotion, situation, thing or person) to leave my head spinning. I am certain you will find many new things will be revealed when your feet land on Amritapuri and that most of the answers you crave will be slowly revealed also . Let yourself be plunged into that unknown...and the fear will be alleviated in Amma's arms. I am so happy for you that you will be in her graces soon!!! Jai Ma! Ananthasree Ammachi, "ammasiswari" <ammasiswari> wrote: > Last fall, I had an experience with Amma in which all of my ideas and concepts of > everything (including Amma and myself and the world) just *dissolved*. Ever since then, > something in my relationship with Her has changed. I used to find some sort of comfort in > turning to Her (or whatever my idea of Her was). However, since that experience, She is > just an utter mystery to me. I feel I have no grasp of Her whatsoever, even as I'm drawn in > deeper...and so here I am, plunging myself into this Unknown....and it's a bit terrifying! > > Iswari > > Ammachi, "ammasiswari" <ammasiswari> wrote: > > I've been soo excited about my trip to Amritapuri....but ever since I remembered that the > > last week in August is the anniversary of a devastating loss for me (I'm not sure how I > > could have forgotten that when I booked the ticket, though I suppose Amma just wanted > > me there then), the thought of leaving and being separated from my beloved husband > > during that time just feels heartbreaking, almost unbearably painful and sad. This is > how > > sweet he is, though....he bought a little spiral-bound pad of index cards, and is writing > me > > a little note for each day that we'll be apart. Even though other aspects of my life have > > been deeply challenging at times, I've at "least" been unbelievably blessed with this love! > > > > I suppose it's not surprising, on the verge of going to the ashram of our Kali Flower, that > I > > find myself struggling with my attachments and plunging into some existential crisis! :- > D > > > > Please keep me in your prayers in the coming weeks, as you will be in mine... > > > > In Amma's Love, > > Iswari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2005 Report Share Posted August 14, 2005 I think I know what you are talking about-this experience. I think I may have had something very similar. I truly cannot understand in my mind at all what She "is." I had an experience that probably would not make a lot of sense writing-it just had to do with how She is everywhere, all the time, and so many are having experiences with her simultaneously. (ok, so I AM trying to write about it.) And how She has ALWAYS been. Then I imagine what it's like to never be born again into the world as we know it. How is it to be just like, creation itself, blissful and yet not who you know yourself to be in this life? To no longer come back-especially when you think of your children, friends, etc-those you love. But I am nowhere near the goal. I've had a snapshot here or there. I had an out of body experience and told my mother. This was about 30 yrs ago when I was first out on my own. She told me my father had the same experience about the time I did. I don't think that may mean anything. But the experience confirmed a "proof" to me of life after death. It was total freedom. So I believe those "almost died" stories, too. Yet I still cannot fully understand Amma. Swamiji told us that he does not even try to comprehend Amma with the mind as it simply is not possible. work in progress (and sometimes 3 steps back-maybe even 10!) in devotion to Amma, adriane Ammachi, "ammasiswari" <ammasiswari> wrote: > Last fall, I had an experience with Amma in which all of my ideas and concepts of > everything (including Amma and myself and the world) just *dissolved*. Ever since then, > something in my relationship with Her has changed. I used to find some sort of comfort in > turning to Her (or whatever my idea of Her was). However, since that experience, She is > just an utter mystery to me. I feel I have no grasp of Her whatsoever, even as I'm drawn in > deeper...and so here I am, plunging myself into this Unknown....and it's a bit terrifying! > > Iswari > > Ammachi, "ammasiswari" <ammasiswari> wrote: > > I've been soo excited about my trip to Amritapuri....but ever since I remembered that the > > last week in August is the anniversary of a devastating loss for me (I'm not sure how I > > could have forgotten that when I booked the ticket, though I suppose Amma just wanted > > me there then), the thought of leaving and being separated from my beloved husband > > during that time just feels heartbreaking, almost unbearably painful and sad. This is > how > > sweet he is, though....he bought a little spiral-bound pad of index cards, and is writing > me > > a little note for each day that we'll be apart. Even though other aspects of my life have > > been deeply challenging at times, I've at "least" been unbelievably blessed with this love! > > > > I suppose it's not surprising, on the verge of going to the ashram of our Kali Flower, that > I > > find myself struggling with my attachments and plunging into some existential crisis! :- > D > > > > Please keep me in your prayers in the coming weeks, as you will be in mine... > > > > In Amma's Love, > > Iswari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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