many gracious thanks

[Guest guest]

Thank you all who responded to my email--either

directly or by praying. I meant to sit down yesterday

and email the group. It seems a good thing that I got

so caught up in trying to get things together for our

'new' homeschool year which 'begins' officially this

coming Monday. We technically homeschool all year,

but we are changing to a more structured format--and

that starts Monday. I am so grateful for all the love

and support I received.

 

Goodness, I think I shall come to you all more often

with petty things. Your prayers get nearly instant

results. Or maybe Amma was just tired of hearing me

whine and cry about things. :-) More likely it was

simply that Now is the time She decided would be a

good time to begin changing things more directly in my

life.

 

Well, I was going to sit and explain to you all why

Tony isn't a bad person--misguided misdirected and

delusional at times--but--I don't really feel the need

to go that route right now.

He came home last night and was actually talking to

me. His request to start a dharma study group has

been granted and he is very happy about that, waiting

for all the materials to arrive and whatnot. And I

happened to nudge the so I get to go to satsang more

often now right? Since he'll have his current dharma

group, then the dharma study group (not the same

things--don't ask me how or why). And he began this

trip along how his teacher had told him he needs to

devote himself more to studies and group

activities--and since his teacher had been a guest in

our home recently and had been extremely vocal about

his treating especially me with more loving

kindness--I pointed out it might not be such a bad

thing in her eyes if I was given the same opportunity

to join in group activities, within my own realm of

worship and spirituality. And he actually caught on.

So we are trying to work things around so that we take

turns--and I at least get to go to satsang once a

month, if not more.

 

Better yet, before he got home, one of my dearest

friends dropped by to talk with me. She recently got

a new client and saw him for the first time

yesterday, or maybe it was the day before. She said

that from the moment she laid eyes on the guy she knew

she was supposed to bring him to me, that she knew

this was the link that had been waiting to come to me

to help me. And she went into all this stuff that she

felt urged to 'hear'--stuff like he has a second

vehicle that just sits and he'd probably let me use it

just for the asking, that he would probably be really

supportive of my ideas to write children's books on

meditations and other spiritual things--just as Amma

has been telling me I should keep in mind for the

future. Christine, whom I had not told any of my own

visions or goals or dreams to--feeling them too young

and nebulous and not wanting to totally jinx them,

preceded to tell me how she felt this man was going to

help me achieve all of this--and so much more. And

her parting comment, as she left, which just blew me

out of the water, was that maybe this was the guy who

could actually get me out of this house and really

take care of me and spoil me--and still let me be me,

uplifting me instead of holding me back.

 

So I bow to the Infinite Wisdom of Amma and of the

Divine all together. I am merely a puppet, listening

to the voice as it whispers so softly in the back of

my mind, unsure if it is really my Amma or if it is

only my own over-worked mind rationalising things.

Mother does indeed take care of Her children.

Patience has always been a lesson I have been in dire

need of conquering, so here I am shown that a little

patience (despite my cries of now now now now now like

some little child) is aptly rewarded in the end.

Even if none of what she 'saw' comes to pass, at least

he will be a paying client--and that is better than

nothing. :-)

 

So I thank you all for your prayers -- so very much.

Please don't let up yet. :-) Nothing is set in stone,

but at least the fragrance of hope is thick in the

air.

 

Great blessings,

Tabitha

 

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.."

Anais Nin

 

http://surrenderinthebreath.bravehost.com

 

 

 

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