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Thanks, Locked in the Fridge and Hello

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Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,

Dear Fellow Devotees,

I am just joining this group so Hello fellow devotees! And also thanks to

everyone for your prayers. I've heard so many wonderful things about this online

Satsang I finally decided to "" around the and find it to

join.

 

It is true as Robin stated, I have been going through a tough time. I had a

crack in my mental strength which surprised, embarrassed and frightened me. It

is all financial and really, I don't think I need to have cash stuffed into my

grave with me anyway. lol...We all know that they are far worst things than

losing "things" but someone else's pain somehow does not diminish our own. I was

worrying and my mind was a freight train carrying everything along with it.

 

I tried to ask Amma about this issue while in Chicago this summer. I saw Swami

Dayamrita on the stage and a friend kept telling me "go ask Amma!" So when I

finally gathered the courage to do this, Dayamrita was gone! I wandered into the

snack area and spotted another Swami whose name I do not know. I asked him about

asking Amma a question. He told me "No, do not ask Amma questions on Devi Bhava

night. Are you going further on the tour?" Well..no. So he just told me to ask

another time. So I felt his answer was from Amma. I dropped it and thought I'd

be fine and figure it out on my own.

 

I returned home and things were even worst than I thought! Warning warning...red

alert!!! Cash CRASH! I finally decided to write to a Swami to see if he would

please please please ask Amma for me about this dire situation. After sending

it, I felt a weight had been lifted. But I still wanted to know what Amma might

say. Any information from my guru was most welcome! After waiting what seemed an

eternity, I decided She was not going to respond. Out of the blue, I received an

email from Swami. He said that Amma tells me "She asked me to tell you not to

worry and Amma is with you. She said whether you worry or not we need the

courage to face the challenges in life. Hence please gather this. There is no

use in worrying."

 

What was so unusual is I usually am able to face things and never like to share

my problems. I usually feel strong enough and have faced far worst things. But I

found I can be as vulnerable as the next person. This admission seemingly lifted

me in some way. I burst into tears upon receiving the email knowing Amma did

respond in a way I had desired. I wrote to Swami telling him to thank Amma

(though we know She already knows how grateful I am!!) I wrote how I would

always remember Amma now, how happy I am to have a guru, how I will always

always ALWAYS remember Amma is with me-now no matter what!

 

WRONG!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! I failed the first big test sent to me the VERY next

day!!! This summer, I am working at a school for middle school teens. The next

day, I had was locked in the walk in refrigerator at work. YIPES!!! I had gone

to put up the milk from snack time and grab a bottle of water for myself. I have

been in the refrigerator numerous times but it had not ever locked behind me.

The door was not actually locked but the vacuum was sealed! It would not BUDGE!

I went into a (total screaming!!!) panic. The kitchen lights were out as the

kitchen itself was closed for summer. The light from the walk in fridge window

barely shone through to the cafeteria. I saw the teachers and children getting

up to file into the gym for other activiies. Once again, YIPES!! I pounded on

the door in sheer panic! One teacher caught me in the corner of her eye and came

running to help. She also could not get the door to budge. She went for help. In

the meantime, the door finally opened. It might have been a total of 2 or 3

minutes at most. When I was freed, I was shaking all over from fear. Then it hit

me. It hit me BIG. I totally had forgotten Amma was with me!! BOOM! Just like

that. Already tested, already failed. I recognize I am one big human bean after

all! Thankfully Amma knows me all too well.

 

The theme continued the next evening. I ordered some Chinese take out. I almost

forgot to check the fortune cookie. I have to admit, I'm always more interested

in these "fortunes" than the cookie. If its something I like, then it's true. If

it's not, then I disregard it. I thought, Oh, I need to see what Amma sent me as

a fortune in the cookie! I felt for certain Amma had sent a message. I opened it

and it said: "Courage and optimism are your best traits." Well, maybe She means

that they better be!!

 

So again thanks to all of you who sent prayers for me and my family. We are all

one heart in Amma. And like the lion in the Wizard of Oz, I guess, I need to

remember I already have courage! I have AMMA. Let us all remember it always-no

matter what life may bring, to remember Her loving presence.

 

on the path and in Amma's loving grace and surely Her presence because She told

me so,

Adriane

 

 

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