Thanks, Hello and the Fridge

[Guest guest]

Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,

Dear Fellow Devotees,

I am just joining this group so Hello to friends in Amma. Thanks to

everyone for your prayers. Thanks to Barb and Robin for your very

kind messages also. They were nicer than what my own mother would

ever say! LOL...I've heard so many wonderful things about

this online Satsang I finally decided to "" around and join in.

 

It is true as Robin stated, I have been going through a tough time. I

had a crack in my mental strength which surprised, embarrassed and

frightened me. It is all financial-some of you have shared your

personal stuggles with this as well. In the end, I don't think I need

to have cash stuffed into my grave with me anyway. lol...We all know

that they are far worst things than losing "things" but someone

else's pain somehow does not diminish our own. I was worrying and my

mind was a freight train carrying everything along with it.

 

I tried to ask Amma about this financial issue while in Chicago this

summer. I saw Swami Dayamrita on the stage and a friend kept telling

me "go ask Amma!" So when I finally gathered the courage to do this,

Dayamrita was gone! I wandered into the snack area and spotted

another Swami whose name I do not know. I asked him about asking Amma

a question. He told me "No, do not ask Amma questions on Devi Bhava

night. Are you going further on the tour?" Well..no. So he just told

me to ask another time. So I felt his answer was from Amma. I dropped

it and thought I'd be fine and figure it out on my own.

 

I returned home and things were even worst than I thought! Warning

warning...red alert!!! MAJOR CASH CRASH! I finally decided to write

to a Swami to see if he would please please please ask Amma for me

about this dire situation. After sending it, I felt a weight had been

lifted. But I still wanted to know what Amma might say. Any

information from my guru was most welcome! After waiting what seemed

an eternity, I decided She was not going to respond. Out of the blue,

I received an email from Swami. He said that Amma tells me "She asked

me to tell you not to worry and Amma is with you. She said whether

you worry or not we need the courage to face the challenges in life.

Hence please gather this. There is no use in worrying."

 

Jai Ma! What was so unusual is I usually am able to face things and

never like to share my problems. I usually feel strong enough and

have faced far worst things. But I found I can be as vulnerable as

the next person. This admission seemingly lifted me in some way. I

burst into tears upon receiving the email knowing Amma did respond in

a way I had desired. I wrote to Swami telling him to thank Amma

(though we know She already knows how grateful I am!!) I wrote how I

would always remember Amma now, how happy I am to have a guru, how I

will always always ALWAYS (ALWAYS!!!) remember Amma is with me-now no

matter what!

 

WRONG!! WRONG!!! WRONG!!! I failed the first big test sent to me the

VERY next day!!! This summer, I am working at a school for middle

school teens. So the next day, I had was locked in the walk in

refrigerator at work. YIPES!!! I had gone to put up the milk from

snacktime and grab a bottle of water for myself. I have been in the

refrigerator numerous times but it had not ever locked behind me. The

door was not actually locked but the vacuum was sealed! It would not

BUDGE! I went into a (total screaming!!!) panic (AGHHHH!!!!! HELP!!!!)

The kitchen lights were out as the kitchen itself was closed for

summer. The light from the walk in fridge window barely shone

through to the cafeteria. I saw the teachers and children getting up

to file into the gym for other activities. Oh dear, this did not look

good! I pounded on the door in sheer (TOTAL)panic! One teacher caught

me in the corner of her eye and came running to help. She also could

not get the door to budge. She went for help.

 

In the meantime, the door finally opened. It might have been a total

of 2 or 3 minutes at most. (In my mind, an eternity!) When I was

freed, I was shaking all over from fear. Then it hit me. It hit me

BIG. I totally had forgotten Amma was with me!! BOOM! Just like

that. Already tested, already failed. I recognize I am one big human

bean after all! Thankfully Amma knows me all too well.

 

The theme continued the next evening. I had some Chinese take out. I

almost forgot to check the fortune cookie. I have to admit, I'm

always more interested in these "fortunes" than the cookie. If its

something I like, then it's true. If it's not, then I disregard it. I

thought, Oh, I need to see what Amma sent me as a fortune in the

cookie! I felt for certain Amma had sent a message. I opened it and

it said: "Courage and optimism are your best traits." Well, maybe She

means that they better be!!

 

So again thanks to all of you who sent prayers for me and my family.

We are all one heart in Amma. And like the lion in the Wizard of Oz,

I guess, I need to remember I already have courage! I have AMMA. Let

us all remember it always-no matter what life may bring, to remember

Her loving presence.

 

on the path and in Amma's loving grace and surely in Her presence

because She told me so,

Adriane