To Ananthasree on sorrow of parting from Amma

[Guest guest]

Ananthasree wrote:

 

I have just returned from my first retreat with Mother, and sit here

both disoriented and filled with love... as if I have just been born.

....I look around my apartment and none of the things I knew before seem to

mean anything to me. I can only sit with yearning and cry, like a child taken

away

from it's mother.

 

....I can do nothing but cry out and replay over and over again

in my mind the events of the past few days. I feel overjoyed at my

great blessings, but in terrible pain that she is gone...

 

....I also received both a name and mantra from mother, and am so

overjoyed, humbled and bursting with excitement...I just want to shout

it from the rooftops!

 

....I would also like to know the fast paced, energetic song that

was sung to Mother during Devi Bhava at the very end of darshan before

she approached the end of the stage for flower petaling?? I went into

an altered state during this song, and would like to find it, though I

don't know the name.

 

Last but not least, is there a way to acquire video from the East

Coast retreat and Devi Bhava? I know video was shot throughout, and am

curious as to how we might get this?

 

Much love to all of my brothers and sisters whom I met at this

retreat. Everyone was so filled with Mother's light and love. So many

were so helpful and shared such amazing stories.

 

....and I am afraid that this feeling of longing and sadness might overtake

all of the joy and wonder of the past few days.

 

 

 

Dear Ananthasree,

 

The feeling of longing and the crying for Mother is very common, even among

the devotees that live with Her at Amritapuri. In "Sacred Journey" there is a

story where Amma took two devotees and went off into a forest ashram for some

time alone. She had planned to stay for several days, but by the second day,

Her feeling of the pain of the longing of Her children at the ashram was so

profound that She left and went back. Amma does this all the time ~ She puts

the needs and longing of Her children before Her own. That is why She travels

practically year-round. She knows Her children are filled with longing. Yet

Mother has told us to "cry to God." In the case of us, Her devotees, we would

cry for our Mother. She is with us always, but She will come again in some

way. Be sensitive to scents, like rose, you might smell in your home, and

dreams. And know that Amma will come again in the physical to see you.

 

Several of us on the digest were unable to see Amma because we are quite

ill. In my own case, I did not feel I was missing Amma at all, but that I was

constantly with Her. Much of this was due to the kindness of other devotees in

this wonderful group who wrote and told me they were thinking of me when they

were with Amma or they took the prayer list, or they took my name written on

a piece of paper for Amma to bless. Some sent me Pada Puja and Devi Bhava

water, which I cherish with all my heart and take little sips from when I am

feeling lonely or sick, or even when I am feeling happy. I was sent petals from

Pada Puja and Devi Bhava ... can you imagine not being able to see Her, and

yet being with Her through all these kindnesses of other devotees. One person

sent me a piece of the cloth that Amma stood on during Pada Puja. When I

first got it, I felt overwhelmed, carried away. Then I gently folded the cloth

a

bit and held it to every area of my body where I have pain. Now it is draped

around my picture of Amma on my little altar.

 

I think that some of the ways that would help you feel closer to Amma, even

if you are sad would be to continue communicating with us here and letting us

know how you feel as time passes, to find out if there is a satsang in your

area (being with others in satsang, singing bhajans, doing puja, etc. is a

wonderful experience, and as I indicated by my own story above, Amma's Love

flows to us through her devotees), spend time in meditation ~ if you do not

have

the archana booklet, it would be wonderful for you to get it as there is a

beautiful meditation puja in the beginning where you are walked through all the

steps including feeling Amma's presence in your heart, play bhajans and sing

along, put pictures of Mother all over your house. I live in a trailer and

don't have much wall space to hang pictures, but I have taped pictures of Amma

everywhere.

 

Please do not think I am minimizing your sorrow ... all of us have felt it.

Put your tears at Amma's Lotus feet. You could even imagine you are washing

Her precious feet with your tears. And I think the Devi Bhava song you are

referring to is Amma Amma Taye. It is on the cd, "Tamil Bhajans, Vol. 1" and

on

"Amritamjali Vol. 57." It takes some patience paging through the web pages to

find these, but on the way, you might see others you'd like.

In terms of the CD of this year's world tour, eventually it will be

available. I'm not sure how long it takes them to put it together, but perhaps

someone else in the group will be able to tell you. In the meanwhile, there are

other wonderful videos about Amma, and there is also a cd rom for computer (they

now have it available for Mac or PC). It is called "Amrita Darshan, Immortal

Vision." I used to have it when I had my Mac, but then I got a cd, so now I

have to get another one. It is incredible. Here is the blurb from the

bookstore about this amazing cd for your computer:

"Amrita Darshan means "immortal vision." This is the first multimedia

presentation produced by Amma's main ashram in India. The CD-ROM provides a

glimpse

into the many inspiring aspects of spiritual life with Amma, including an

illustrated narrative of her life story, devotional chants, a guided

meditation, animated stories, a section on Indian mythology, a tour of the

ashram, and

information on ashram life in Amritapuri and the charitable activites which

it supports. Designed to share a bit of the treasure of Eastern sprituality

with the Western viewer. Windows 3.1 and 95 compatible."

 

Finally, Amma loves it when Her children do selfless service, so if there is

an Amma's Kitchen in your area, you might get involved with that. If not,

there are all kinds of other ways to do selfless service ~ even a smile for a

stranger. And you can dedicate the fruits of all your actions to Amma. That

way you will know that everything you do, you are doing for Amma, and that She

will know and be very happy.

 

A hug for your tears, a hug for your joys ~ Linda