Guest guest Posted July 25, 2005 Report Share Posted July 25, 2005 Om Namah Shivayah, I have just returned from my first retreat with Mother, and sit here both disoriented and filled with love... as if I have just been born. Now all of the stories I have read of Mother's grace make sense to me, for I have experienced it all first hand.I spent four days in her divine presence and it feels like it was years. I look around my apartment and none of the things I knew before seem to mean anything to me. I can only sit with yearning and cry, like a child taken away from it's mother. Please tell me, brothers and sisters in Amma....how do you/we deal with this terrible pain of separation? I can think of nothing more that I would like to do than surrender all I know to be with her everyday. I can do nothing but cry out and replay over and over again in my mind the events of the past few days. I feel overjoyed at my great blessings, but in terrible pain that she is gone... The first night of the retreat, I became violently ill and could not stop vomiting, was terribly dizzy and had to miss meditation and dinner with Mother because I could not stop heaving everything from my stomach. I wrote her a note begging her to make me better so that I would not miss more time with her, and she looked at me with the most infinite compassion, lifted me up and sat me by her side where I sat for what I thought was 15 minutes (my friend later told me I was there for almost three hours)...and I walked away feeling better than I ever have. I write this in the hopes that others will share similar experiences. I have heard that some people do get ill around Mother because it is by her will in order to perpetuate some type of spiritual purging. I would love to know more on this, since that whole incident was a great mystery to me. I also received both a name and mantra from mother, and am so overjoyed, humbled and bursting with excitement...I just want to shout it from the rooftops! During the retreat, Mother sang a song called "Where Do I Go"? and I am wondering if anyone knows the lyrics to this or if I can be pointed in the direction of them. I tried looking on Google, but came up empty. I would also like to know the fast paced, energetic song that was sung to Mother during Devi Bhava at the very end of darshan before she approached the end of the stage for flower petaling?? I went into an altered state during this song, and would like to find it, though I don't know the name. Last but not least, is there a way to acquire video from the East Coast retreat and Devi Bhava? I know video was shot throughout, and am curious as to how we might get this? Much love to all of my brothers and sisters whom I met at this retreat. Everyone was so filled with Mother's light and love. So many were so helpful and shared such amazing stories. I will be tremendously grateful to any who can share advice on how to best deal with this awful pain of separation. I know that I should not be attached to the physical, but I cannot seem to help this overflowing fountain of tears and longing....and I am afraid that this feeling of longing and sadness might overtake all of the joy and wonder of the past few days. In Amma, Ananthasree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2005 Report Share Posted July 25, 2005 Ammachi, "Ananthasree" <michellewalsh88@h...> wrote: > Om Namah Shivayah, > > I have just returned from my first retreat with Mother, and sit > here both disoriented and filled with love... > Please tell me, brothers and sisters in Amma....how do you/we deal > with this terrible pain of separation? Cry it out ... Beg Her for unity. Please see the pain of separation as an act of Grace (to help ripen your heart into more purity). >I will be tremendously grateful to any who can share advice on how > to best deal with this awful pain of separation. see above. > I know that I should not be attached to the physical, but I > cannot seem to help this overflowing fountain of tears and > longing.... The next best thing to being detached is to be attached to the physical form of the Guru, so you are doing fine. . > and I am afraid > that this feeling of longing and sadness might overtake all of the > joy and wonder of the past few days. Mostly, it won't; it will be the thought of the joy that will make you cry, not the other way around. You might even take a 'masochistic' attitude later (where no tears are forthcoming and you will long to cry for her!), but that is also fine. I think you had the spiritual equivalent of a double-bottle of rum neat and fast! (not that I speak from experience of the rum!). > In Amma, > > Ananthasree Jai Ma! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2005 Report Share Posted July 25, 2005 Hi Ananthasree, I would say the pain of separation you feel is a great gift from our Divine Amma. Let that pain rise into full, gentle and clear awareness. Don't fight or resist it. Perhaps the fire of the pain will burn away old vasanas and knots, taking you ever deeper into Amma's divine heart. Perhaps pain like yours is the box hiding treasures of insights, and compassionate awareness is the key. Just a thought, for what its worth. Jai Ma, Advait On 7/25/05, manoj_menon <ammasmon wrote: > > Ammachi, "Ananthasree" <michellewalsh88@h...> > wrote: > > Om Namah Shivayah, > > > > I have just returned from my first retreat with Mother, and sit > > here both disoriented and filled with love... > > Please tell me, brothers and sisters in Amma....how do you/we deal > > with this terrible pain of separation? > > Cry it out ... Beg Her for unity. Please see the pain of separation > as an act of Grace (to help ripen your heart into more purity). > > >I will be tremendously grateful to any who can share advice on how > > to best deal with this awful pain of separation. > > see above. > > > I know that I should not be attached to the physical, but I > > cannot seem to help this overflowing fountain of tears and > > longing.... > > The next best thing to being detached is to be attached to the > physical form of the Guru, so you are doing fine. . > > > and I am afraid > > that this feeling of longing and sadness might overtake all of the > > joy and wonder of the past few days. > > Mostly, it won't; it will be the thought of the joy that will make > you cry, not the other way around. You might even take > a 'masochistic' attitude later (where no tears are forthcoming and > you will long to cry for her!), but that is also fine. > > I think you had the spiritual equivalent of a double-bottle of rum > neat and fast! (not that I speak from experience of the rum!). > > > In Amma, > > > > Ananthasree > > Jai Ma! > > > > > > Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha! > Links > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2005 Report Share Posted July 25, 2005 > During the retreat, Mother sang a song called "Where Do I Go"? and I > am wondering if anyone knows the lyrics to this or if I can be pointed > in the direction of them. I tried looking on Google, but came up > empty. This is a new song, and its lyrics were handed out on a very small sheet of paper. Hopefully another devotee has them and can post them for you. I find it very sad, myself.... I would also like to know the fast paced, energetic song that > was sung to Mother during Devi Bhava at the very end of darshan before > she approached the end of the stage for flower petaling?? Amma Amma Taye is on Amritanjali, Vol. 57, available on cassette tape from Mothersbooks.org, and also on CD on Tamil Bhajans vol. 1. Maybe other places as well. The bookstore has this description of the Amritanjali tape: "This volume has songs in praise of Mother, Lord Krishna and Devi. Most of the songs are in Malayalam and Sanskrit. "Amma Amma Taye" is the classic, high-energy bhajan sung at the end of Devi Bhava. "Oh Mother", the words go, "Goddess of the Universe, Giver of food to all creatures, Thou art the Primal Supreme Power". Bhajans are a very effective way of expressing devotion. When Amma sings them, the entire atmosphere is transformed and our hearts are infused with longing for the Divine. Amma says, "If bhajans are sung with one-pointedness, it is beneficial for the singer, the listeners, and Nature as well. Later when the listeners reflect on the songs, they will try to live in accordance with the lessons enunciated therein." Good to hear about your enthusiasm. love, Prashanti Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2005 Report Share Posted July 25, 2005 Namah Shivaya, The pain of separation is such grace! To long for our Mother is such a wonderful gift that will sustain you until the next time you are with Her. It will make you think about Her all of the time, and see Her in everything and everyone. Hold on to that pain, and keep it in your heart - it is the connection between you and Mother. You have to admit - it is such sweet pain - no? It is that pain that will help you have the desire to do your spiritual practices so you can experience more of Her. It's not just the physical presence of Her that you are missing - although there is no one more beautiful or sweet or playful as She. It is the connection with Her that you miss. You can never get enough of Her - of Her physical form or in your heart.Also know that it is She that is making you miss Her so much so you can feel closer to Her. Know that there is no difference between you and Mother, and that She is with you every second of your life. In Mother's Love, prasadini Ananthasree wrote: >Om Namah Shivayah, > >I have just returned from my first retreat with Mother, and sit here >both disoriented and filled with love... as if I have just been born. >Now all of the stories I have read of Mother's grace make sense to me, >for I have experienced it all first hand.I spent four days in her >divine presence and it feels like it was years. I look around my >apartment and none of the things I knew before seem to mean anything >to me. I can only sit with yearning and cry, like a child taken away >from it's mother. > >Please tell me, brothers and sisters in Amma....how do you/we deal >with this terrible pain of separation? I can think of nothing more >that I would like to do than surrender all I know to be with her >everyday. I can do nothing but cry out and replay over and over again >in my mind the events of the past few days. I feel overjoyed at my >great blessings, but in terrible pain that she is gone... > >The first night of the retreat, I became violently ill and could not >stop vomiting, was terribly dizzy and had to miss meditation and >dinner with Mother because I could not stop heaving everything from my >stomach. I wrote her a note begging her to make me better so that I >would not miss more time with her, and she looked at me with the most >infinite compassion, lifted me up and sat me by her side where I sat >for what I thought was 15 minutes (my friend later told me I was there >for almost three hours)...and I walked away feeling better than I ever >have. > >I write this in the hopes that others will share similar experiences. >I have heard that some people do get ill around Mother because it is >by her will in order to perpetuate some type of spiritual purging. I >would love to know more on this, since that whole incident was a great >mystery to me. > >I also received both a name and mantra from mother, and am so >overjoyed, humbled and bursting with excitement...I just want to shout >it from the rooftops! > >During the retreat, Mother sang a song called "Where Do I Go"? and I >am wondering if anyone knows the lyrics to this or if I can be pointed >in the direction of them. I tried looking on Google, but came up >empty. I would also like to know the fast paced, energetic song that >was sung to Mother during Devi Bhava at the very end of darshan before >she approached the end of the stage for flower petaling?? I went into >an altered state during this song, and would like to find it, though I >don't know the name. > >Last but not least, is there a way to acquire video from the East >Coast retreat and Devi Bhava? I know video was shot throughout, and am >curious as to how we might get this? > >Much love to all of my brothers and sisters whom I met at this >retreat. Everyone was so filled with Mother's light and love. So many >were so helpful and shared such amazing stories. > >I will be tremendously grateful to any who can share advice on how to >best deal with this awful pain of separation. I know that I should not >be attached to the physical, but I cannot seem to help this >overflowing fountain of tears and longing....and I am afraid that this >feeling of longing and sadness might overtake all of the joy and >wonder of the past few days. > >In Amma, > >Ananthasree > > > > > > > > > > >Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha! > Links > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 25, 2005 Report Share Posted July 25, 2005 While there is truth to the notion that the pain of separation can bring us closer to Amma, it is also true (and Amma has said this so many times!) that She is always with us and that, where there is love, there is no distance! At the Rhode Island retreat a number of years ago, I felt such intense pain at the notion of Amma's impending departure that I begged Her in my prayers to please place Herself within my heart, so I wouldn't miss Her so much when She left, so I would feel Her with me always, even when not in Her presence...and She did! When I went for darshan that night, I felt Her energy enter my heart in a new way, and though I still sometimes yearn to be in Her physical presence, I've never since felt that She is not, at least in some way, still always with me. For this, I am so grateful and the sense of Her presence within has helped me through some very rough times awhile back. So, yes, use the longing to bring you closer, but please don't forget that the separation is in our own minds and hearts, and it doesn't mean that She is not with you, always! Namah Shivaya, Iswari Ammachi, "Ananthasree" <michellewalsh88@h...> wrote: > Om Namah Shivayah, > > I have just returned from my first retreat with Mother, and sit here > both disoriented and filled with love... as if I have just been born. > Now all of the stories I have read of Mother's grace make sense to me, > for I have experienced it all first hand.I spent four days in her > divine presence and it feels like it was years. I look around my > apartment and none of the things I knew before seem to mean anything > to me. I can only sit with yearning and cry, like a child taken away > from it's mother. > > Please tell me, brothers and sisters in Amma....how do you/we deal > with this terrible pain of separation? I can think of nothing more > that I would like to do than surrender all I know to be with her > everyday. I can do nothing but cry out and replay over and over again > in my mind the events of the past few days. I feel overjoyed at my > great blessings, but in terrible pain that she is gone... > > The first night of the retreat, I became violently ill and could not > stop vomiting, was terribly dizzy and had to miss meditation and > dinner with Mother because I could not stop heaving everything from my > stomach. I wrote her a note begging her to make me better so that I > would not miss more time with her, and she looked at me with the most > infinite compassion, lifted me up and sat me by her side where I sat > for what I thought was 15 minutes (my friend later told me I was there > for almost three hours)...and I walked away feeling better than I ever > have. > > I write this in the hopes that others will share similar experiences. > I have heard that some people do get ill around Mother because it is > by her will in order to perpetuate some type of spiritual purging. I > would love to know more on this, since that whole incident was a great > mystery to me. > > I also received both a name and mantra from mother, and am so > overjoyed, humbled and bursting with excitement...I just want to shout > it from the rooftops! > > During the retreat, Mother sang a song called "Where Do I Go"? and I > am wondering if anyone knows the lyrics to this or if I can be pointed > in the direction of them. I tried looking on Google, but came up > empty. I would also like to know the fast paced, energetic song that > was sung to Mother during Devi Bhava at the very end of darshan before > she approached the end of the stage for flower petaling?? I went into > an altered state during this song, and would like to find it, though I > don't know the name. > > Last but not least, is there a way to acquire video from the East > Coast retreat and Devi Bhava? I know video was shot throughout, and am > curious as to how we might get this? > > Much love to all of my brothers and sisters whom I met at this > retreat. Everyone was so filled with Mother's light and love. So many > were so helpful and shared such amazing stories. > > I will be tremendously grateful to any who can share advice on how to > best deal with this awful pain of separation. I know that I should not > be attached to the physical, but I cannot seem to help this > overflowing fountain of tears and longing....and I am afraid that this > feeling of longing and sadness might overtake all of the joy and > wonder of the past few days. > > In Amma, > > Ananthasree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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