To GeorgeSon on demons and dragons

[Guest guest]

GeorgeSon wrote:

 

Amma also implies (I am reading between the lines here) that the boy

is very idealistic at that age but will he be as innocent and pure as

he approaches puberty?

 

This struck a nerve with me because I became impure after age 12 or

so. I went from a sweet boy to a full fledged demon.

 

 

Dear George ~ I think in Savriti Bess' book, "The Path of the Mother," she

talks about part of the path being meeting one's shadow and coming to terms

with that. I did not become a demon, but I felt like one, for many, many years.

Probably due to the abuse I went through, throughout my early 20's, I

struggled with all kinds of terrible thoughts and images.

 

I truly believed I must be evil and was terrified that one day I would act

on these thoughts or images. I went to therapist after therapist seeking help.

All they would say was, "well, if you're aware of it, you probably won't do

it." Good grief! No comfort for this tortured soul.

I learned Transcendental Meditation and through the training received cuing

that was very helpful. Of course it was about the meditation process, but I

felt it applied to daily life. The cuing was to not hold onto the thoughts or

push them away or resist them, but just let them float by like clouds.

 

This helped somewhat, but I was still suffering. I had to come to terms with

this inner bad guy to go on with my life. One day, I was driving in my car,

and the image of a dragon came to me. In western tradition, the dragon

(another symbol for the snake) is viewed as bad, needing to be slain, etc. But

I

knew that in Eastern traditions, dragons were hghly regarded, so my studies

helped me.

 

I decided to make friends with my dragon. I imagined my dragon as my ally

(kind of like Sweta's vision of her Kali statue coming to life). He could take

me anywhere I wanted to go, with me riding on his broad back, sitting between

his magnificent wings. He could protect me. And we could have fun ~ we would

toast marshmallows on his fire. I wrote a children's story with this theme

and a song, "Honor the Dragon." One night I was performing at a local women's

center. Afterwards, a woman came up to me and thanked me profusely for singing

this song. She said she had the same difficulty, and this song really helped

her realize she could come to terms with it. I felt joyous for her and also

validated; I was not alone.

 

I believe that these feelings people like you and I have are part of the

common human experience; they are part of being in the world of duality, and we

are taught to define things as good or bad (evil). Yet Hinduims teaches us

that all is One. In the Chandi Path, even the negative thoughts that stole

Heaven from the Gods and tried with all their might to kill the Goddess; once

they

were dead, they went to Heaven. I was amazed to find this in the Chandi,

because the thoughts are very degraded in the text and the battles are very

fierce. But when I read these words: "By dying on the battlefield, these

enemies

have arrived in heaven...," I thought ahhhhhh. In another part of the Chandi,

where instruction is given on how to worship the Goddess, it says: "In front

of the Goddess, on the left side, one should offer worship to the severed

head of the Great Ego who attained complete union with the Goddess?"

 

Our Mother in all Her forms, including our beloved Amma, will take us as we

are; She will put us in the great washing machine to make us shiny clean, but

in the end, we are accepted exactly as we are. Of this I have no doubt. Jai

Ma ~ Linda P.S. sorry for making this so long, but occasionally these

hobgoblins show up again, and I know that others experience this, and as Bill

Murray said in the movie, "Meatballs,It just doesn't matter." Our mother

will

never leave us bereft and will stay with us life after life until we have

finally broken through the great round of Maya.