To Erica and Linda on not being able to see Ammachi

[Guest guest]

Namah Shivaya

 

Count this sibling among those unable to see our Mother this tour. I am

chronically sick and

primarily housebound, able to leave bed/house for short periods of time.

When Mother is

around I push myself to be with Her and then collapse for six weeks or

so. This year my husband

and I decided that we would see Mother in San Ramon for a couple of

days, then go LA where

everything is one place so I could go to my room to rest whenever I

needed, thus making it easier

on my body.

 

Mother had other plans. During Her first week in San Ramon I had some

weird flu-like thing, which

went away mysteriously after 4 days. One minute I was feeling horrible,

and half a hour later I had

unbridled energy - unusual for me, since fatigue is my worst symptom.

OK, now ready to go to

San Ramon for a day, then rest, then go to LA. Again, Mother had other

plans. I developed a

stomach ailment that wouldn't go away, and have been nursing my stomach

ever since.

I knew I wouldn't be able to eat the food at the retreat and would have

to spend my time

nursing my stomach the whole time I was there with yogurt and instant

oatmeal, instead of

participating in the retreat, so we canceled our retreat plans.

 

But---there was still Devi Bhava in San Ramon. We went to bed really

early, thinking we would

get up in the wee, wee hours of the morning, drive 70 miles and have

Darshan. Wrong. Neither of us

could sleep a wink.

 

Ah. The Divine Mother had other plans. As my husband said, all we could

do was laugh! Her

beautiful divine hand was orchestrating all of this. At one point I too

felt I was being punished,

and my husband said the same thing as Linda - that Mother doesn't punish

us - She just loves us.

 

So plans A, B, C, and D didn't work. Ya think there's a message in here

somewhere? Ya think?

 

Jai Ma!

Prasadini

 

nierika wrote:

 

>

>Erica wrote:

>

>It looks like I am definitely unable to make it to the Chicago

>programs. My husband asked me last night, "What would Amma want us to

>do? Go see her or pay off some bills? She is always in your heart." I

>immediately started to bawl. Though I know that he is probably

>right, it still FEELS wrong. I can't help but wonder...is this some

>kind of test? Is this some sort of punishment? Some kind of lesson?

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Linda wrote

 

> Dear Erica ~ As you probably know by now, I am not able to see Amma this

>year either, partly due to finances, partly due to ill health, partly due to

>having no way to get to Albuquerque. Once I accepted that I would not see

Amma,

>"in the flesh," so to speak, I began to feel Her presence more and more,

>through vignettes shared by program and retreat attendees and through Her

>magnificent gesture of blessing our prayer list.

>

>I am so sorry you are unable to go. I know how indescribly wonderful it is

>to be in Her presence. But I do not believe this is some kind of punishment. I

>don't believe Amma punishes us, ever. She tests us, yes, and She challenges

>us, but punishment, no, I don't believe that. She is our loving Mother.

>Perhaps you can get someone to take a photo of you to Amma to bless. A few

people

>did things like that for me, and it helped me feel even more a part of the

>tour, even though I am home-bound.

>

>We want to see Her, yes. But in truth, She is ever within our hearts.

>Picture Her there, and you will find Her. Jai Ma ~ Linda

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>Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

> Links

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