Digest Number 1494

[Guest guest]

<<We just got the DVD of the tsunami showing what happened that day at the

ashram, oh my what a scene! Watching it made me cry and cry... >>>

 

Where did you get this DVD?????

 

In Loves Service

malati

[Guest guest]

Thanks to you all for the kinder gentler chats lately - I was getting sick of

all the philosphical theoretical blah blah blah (thanks for letting me vent).

 

RE: Pain I would like to HUMBLY offer my experience with pain since I believe

I am one of those who has experienced more than my share in this lifetime - I

used to enjoy the pain because it made the hate and fear go away. Self

mutilation is one way of reducing fear and rage. So if one is stuck in that

particular circle the only way out is to get help from a therapist - which I did

after many years of thinking everybody did what I was doing...duh. Anyway the

point is that enjoying/nurturing/clinging to pain of any kind is a sign of

deeper issues that probably cannot be resolved alone by the person in pain.

 

RE: Disfunctional MOMs Again, as an orphan this is a huge issue with me. Since

meeting my MOM AMMA (when people ask me where did I get a name like Supriti I

always say "MY MOM gave it to me") I have been so happy that I have a new memory

to put in my heart and head when I think of Mom Amma -

 

I felt a great relief when I finally really got it that Amma is my Mom and my

all in all as well. What a great "soft place to land" in Dr. Phil lingo. The

coolest thing of all is that I get to give any pain that happens to come up to

HER. I surrender it gladly now as where in the past I would have happily hung

onto the pain and wallowed in the POORME's for awhile and gotten sympathy and

indulged in a good drunk. Point is I have a Mom and I am learning to be a Mom

by following Amma's example.

 

When I hear myself telling myself that I don't know how to be a MOTHER, I have

to now stop in my tracks and say, "Oh yes I do know how to be a Mother cause I

got the best example of a Mom there is." If this were the only blessing I ever

got from Amma it would be enuf, but of course the blessings are many more than

just this one.

 

RE: Birthday w/Amma and Intensity at the ashram. I spent Amritavarshinam with

Amma in India and got to be at the Ashram for five days. The intensity of the

safety I felt while at the Ashram was greater than any other time in my life,

and I carry that feeling of safety with me today. I still get scared sometimes,

but I immediately remember being at that place on earth and how it was so safe

for me. LIke nothing else I have ever experienced.

 

You must understand my perspective of coming from severe abuse, raising myself

by living in my own fantasy world because my "real" world was too ugly to live

in and all the other trauma/drama I was accustomed, even proud of. So to feel

safe is very special and dear to me and because I felt that safety in that

place, I can carry it with me because now I know what it is. Hard to have

peace, joy, love, etc. if you don't know what it is or how it feels....

 

RE: Eagles. I have to brag, forgive me in advance. I have always been

particularly sensitive to birds. Before I moved to Michigan I always felt close

to the crows in the Washington state area, they would follow me and guide me and

scold me and make me laugh for years and years. Now here in Michigan I am

feeling more close to the hawks, the crows here are rude somehow. Anyway, when

I arrived at the Ashram for my first visit during Amma's 50th birthday, I stood

in front of the temple there and looked up and there were FIVE eagles flying in

a circle directly over my head!!!, I felt so special as if my MOM had arranged

this lovely eagle dance just for me, SHE is so sweet to remember those little

tiny things that don't mean any thing to anyone else but each one of us... I

felt so special and could not stop smiling the rest of that day...

 

I can't believe Amma will be coming again soon (I pray). She is so awesome to

go to Sri Lanka and make the enemies bow down before her together...that story

just blows me away. There are a couple of pictures of the female soldiers and

how they got darshan from Amma...

 

We just got the DVD of the tsunami showing what happened that day at the ashram,

oh my what a scene! Watching it made me cry and cry...

 

And seeing the pictures of Ram and Laksmi climb up the stairs into the temple

was so moving -

 

Guess I'll quit rambling and wish you all a wonderful weekend. Hugs to all,

especially the crabby sad paining ones...

 

Please forgive if any of this sounds arrogant, just want to share my blessings

and give some hope because some of us are on the same paths

 

 

Om Namashivaya - In Amma's service,

 

Supriti Omenka Nnadi